Social Culture of the Legal Profession

[Anonymous]

I'd like some perspective from more experienced lawyers. I'm a junior associate at a medium-size law firm. I am a sociable introvert, I'm never shy, and I always felt like I could talk to people easily - until law school.

Law school reminded me strongly of fraternity/sorority life in college, which I did not take part in. I hate drinking, I'm not loud or high energy and I don't like late nights. But this was the main way law students seemed to socialize at my law school, and it seems to be a heavy part of my firm culture too. Both law school and law firm life are characterized by loud, extroverted, heavy drinkers, a very "bro" atmosphere. I'm generally a confident and friendly guy so I've managed to maintain a sort of cordial neutrality with my colleagues and former classmates, and I made a couple really close friends in law school, but I'm concerned about the networking opportunities in the future for lawyers like me.

I can't relate to most of these people, not the way I could easily befriend people in college. What does that mean for my future when it comes to getting referrals and all the other advantages that come with networking? My more social, extroverted, fratty classmates have solid connections through law school and their new firms or government jobs because their form of socializing "clicks" with the mainstream environment.

I guess I just want to hear from other lawyers who felt similarly out of place in the party atmosphere and extrovert-centric world of our profession. Did you have a smaller circle of law school friends? Did it ultimately hinder or not affect your professional and social life? How do people like us succeed?

[Anonymous]

Not to hijack OP's thread, but I'm an introverted law student (rising 2L) and I would also like to know how introverts like us can network in this profession. I have 1 good friend in law school, and that's it. Everyone else gives me the cold shoulder and makes it hard for me to make friends. It doesn't help that I hate going to big parties, and that's how they all mingle with each other.

It's like high school. I feel like I'm "not cool".

[Anonymous]

Speaking from my experience, I found that law students as individuals are nice, smart, fascinating nerds and NONE of them were cool in high school.

But in a group dynamic, they transform into stone-faced aspiring corporate-robot judgmental snobs.

[Anonymous]

I am jealous of the people who made it out of law school with even a couple of friends- I really made no good friends and it really shook my confidence. I usually have an easy time connecting with people but something about law school makes it hard.

[Anonymous]

I have generally always been an introvert - the type of a person who has a few close friends as opposed to lots of casual acquaintances. In law school, I forced myself to socialize more, although it always was (and now, a decade and half later, still is) an effort. I do feel like I made friends in law school (T14) and people were generally nice to each other (although from what I heard about the experience of others in other law schools, it is not always the case). Interestingly enough, the law school classmates that I am still friends with are not the ones I would have expected to stay friends with after we graduated - but that's just life, I guess. When I started working in biglaw, people put in such long hours that there was no choice but to become friends with people you worked with - you spent too much time together. And all of us were too overworked to compete against each other.

I still work in biglaw. I generally found that if you are good enough at what you do and are generally a nice person, opportunities come your way. But yes, a frat boy who knows how to play the game will probably get better opportunities. I don't know how to change that.

[Anonymous]

I work in a nerd- and introvert-friendly legal environment, not BigLaw. There are plenty of us around, but not with the big ego, frat bro types. We do more cerebral, lonely work, like appellate practice. We've succeeded by finding our introvert-friendly niche and being good at what we do.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on your practice group. The more specialized you are, the more you can do what you want. Things like employee benefits, tax, IP, etc generally attract more introverted people. Civil litigation, M&A, etc - more important to be social.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am jealous of the people who made it out of law school with even a couple of friends- I really made no good friends and it really shook my confidence. I usually have an easy time connecting with people but something about law school makes it hard.

I work at a law school and hear this from students all the time. I think it is the competitive climate of law school -- from the start of 1L year students are aware that they are being graded on a curve against classmates, and that only the top third or so will garner the best jobs. Doesn't make for a great social climate.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, but the pressure to be a rainmaker in law firms is greater than ever. If you are not already cultivating social contacts with other firm lawyers and clients, you are making yourself very expendable. Particularly in DC, it is less about how smart or nice you are, but instead about who you know and how you can monetize those relationships. Have you thought about looking for positions in-house or with the government that might suit you more tempermentally?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but the pressure to be a rainmaker in law firms is greater than ever. If you are not already cultivating social contacts with other firm lawyers and clients, you are making yourself very expendable. Particularly in DC, it is less about how smart or nice you are, but instead about who you know and how you can monetize those relationships. Have you thought about looking for positions in-house or with the government that might suit you more tempermentally?

I definitely am thinking of going in-house in a few years, but I don't think the need to network ends there. There must be some way for people with my temperament to click with potential clients and other lawyers, just in different settings? Where do you meet potential clients, outside of the typical golf club-type settings? There should be a social networking site for quiet, nerdy lawyers to meet each other.

[Anonymous]

The title of this thread should be amended to "America* Legal Profession". If we were lawyers in Japan, our personality traits would be highly valued.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't sound like your firm is a good match for you, OP. I've been practicing law for close to20 years, and there are plenty of environments where lawyers are quiet and/or geeky. Are you in litigation and/or M&A? Try regulatory or compliance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Speaking from my experience, I found that law students as individuals are nice, smart, fascinating nerds and NONE of them were cool in high school.

But in a group dynamic, they transform into stone-faced aspiring corporate-robot judgmental snobs.

but isn't the reason lawyers go to ivy's is to get these types into their rolodex?

[Anonymous]

I think your fears are valid. Whether people want to admit it or not, BigLaw partnership comes down to two things: bringing in money and, secondarily, a good old fashioned popularity contest. If you can't hack it in the "bro" life -- get out while you can. It won't matter that you're smarter, nicer or a better lawyer in the end. Sad but true. The bros running the big deals at firms are interfacing with bros in the c-suite. The rest of us will be used up and thrown out with the recycling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but the pressure to be a rainmaker in law firms is greater than ever. If you are not already cultivating social contacts with other firm lawyers and clients, you are making yourself very expendable. Particularly in DC, it is less about how smart or nice you are, but instead about who you know and how you can monetize those relationships. Have you thought about looking for positions in-house or with the government that might suit you more tempermentally?

I definitely am thinking of going in-house in a few years, but I don't think the need to network ends there. There must be some way for people with my temperament to click with potential clients and other lawyers, just in different settings? Where do you meet potential clients, outside of the typical golf club-type settings? There should be a social networking site for quiet, nerdy lawyers to meet each other.

Develop a substantive expertise and insist that your firm allow you to get involved with ABA committees where you can volunteer but also get to know people outside your firm. You need to do this when you are still relatively young. If you have a low profile when you come up for partnership, you will be entirely dependent on others to advocate for you and feed you work. That leaves you very vulnerable in DC, because heavy-hitters often move back and forth between firms and government positions.