Dating someone who just got divorced
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Anonymous
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I did this last year and really got hurt. Was really intense really fast. He panicked after 5 months and broke it off.
Been dating again after a hiatus. Met a few people who are nice but have not yet really been excited about someone. Just met another person, seen him twice. Feel more excited about him. My hesitation though is he just got divorced. After a 4 year separation. Wondering if I'm setting myself up to get hurt again...or if if could work if we proceed slowly. |
Anonymous
| What is your definition of "slowly?" |
Anonymous
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4 year separation? Isn't that waaaaay too long?
Age? Kids? Age of his kids? You might be the rebound chick. Why did he divorce? |
Anonymous
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Yeah four year separation sounds really long. Apparently they tried to work it out a number of times.
Not sure why they divorced yet. 2 kids. School age. |
Anonymous
He is probably not over her and needs time to process his thoughts and emotions. |
Anonymous
| If you just want to have fun and go out then it sounds great. If you want him to be "the one", I would look elsewhere. |
Anonymous
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What are the details of his separation OP?
Was he still seeing his ex during the time they were not living together? Were they off and on? Or were they basically broken up the majority of the time? If he is freshly out of the relationship as a whole and newly on his own, I would casually date him, but not have high expectations and would also date others as well. I wouldn't want to be his re-bound lady. If he + his ex were living separate lives for the most part of their separation, then I could get a little more serious w/him, particularly if he has not dated very much previously since then. After all, everything here is pretty much relative at this point. Hope this helps. |
Anonymous
| Go for it. Jump in with both feet if the feeling is mutual. You are trying to predict the future, and that is impossible. Yes, you might get hurt. So what? You'll live. Relationships fail for many reasons, not just because someone is coming out of a divorce. All you can do it try. If you try to stay distant or protect your heart, it won't work either. |
Anonymous
Really, really sad for the kids. Hopefully he will always continue to put them first. |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
| I'd avoid. Four year separation during which time they were trying to work it out? I'd bet money he's still hung up on her and needs time -- a lot of time-- before he's ready for a new relationship. |
Anonymous
| You don't have enough information yet about him. It could be great. There's always risk. There can be legitimate reasons for a long separation (keeping spouse on health insurance), etc. Perhaps he used that time well to move on emotionally. Check it out. If you're attracted and the feeling is mutual, I'd give him a chance, and watch him. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
Or his ex-wife dragged it out, and is still hung up on him, in which case, I would run like hell. |