Siblings on tours?
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Anonymous
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We are going to Boston in August for a string of visits with my rising senior. I invited her college age (rising sophomore) brother along on this trip and apparently, that was soooo wrong of me. She wants college tours to be "her thing" and not her brother's...whereas I'm coming from the POV that it would be really helpful to have him there to impart his wisdom that HE experienced on the college admissions processes.
Thoughts? |
Anonymous
| I can't imagine the college boy wanting to be anywhere near you and DD and college tours in August. We took younger kids on tour but never older kids. I see your DD's point. But, you made the call. |
Anonymous
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I think you had good intentions OP, but I would let your daughter decide if she wants him along.
This is HER experience, and she needs it to be on her terms.If she had asked for him to be there, that would be different. |
Anonymous
| Time for younger one to assert herself as a peer to her brother - no older sibling bossing her. Even though you and I know that some of his insights might be useful, sister won't and shouldn't be subjected to "his" opinions. |
Anonymous
| We did a compromise. I think DC's younger sibling came on two local tours at schools DC was less interested in anyway, but the applicant child did all the rest without the sibling. But I certainly saw a number of younger sibs in tow at many schools. If you don't have someone to leave younger sib with, then it just has to be a family event unless one parent stays home. |
Anonymous
OP said it was an older sibling. I vote no, OP. DD is right. This should be her thing. |
Anonymous
+1. Sister should make her own opinions. |
Anonymous
| We took rising senior DS's younger brother on our tours. DS had no issues with it and younger brother love it. Maybe its just the boy thing but seems like one is making far more out of this than necessary. |
Anonymous
| I feel sorry for a college kid who is still interested in touring colleges. What's up with that? |
Anonymous
OP here...he enjoys spending time with his family? He wants to spend time in Boston, a pretty cool city? He wants to see other colleges besides his own for points of reference? He is excited to help his sister through the process? It's not like he's touring the colleges for himself... |
Anonymous
I don't think its weird that he wanted to go but I agree that you should let your DD make the call. Choosing a college is primarily her decision and she needs fewer, not more, people involved. Plus since your DS just went through the process he probably has strong opinions that are specific to him. I can imagine him making comments about even small things with an air of experience that she would just find intrusive. Even parents should mostly keep their mouths shut on these tours. |
Anonymous
+1. Bring DS along on the general trip to Boston so that you can all spend time as a family, but unless the two of them are close and she goes to him for advice, he should not be along on the tours or providing unsolicited input or feedback on the schools themselves. He can go hang out in the student union or explore the city and then meet up with you later in the day. |
Anonymous
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I have 4 kids and took them all on college tours. It was a way to do a family trip together, a way to spark the idea of going to college in the younger kids, let them see where their older sibling might be spending 4 years of their life, a way for them to see a part of the country they might not otherwise see, etc.
I didn't really give a shit if the college kid didn't want their siblings around. Some decisions are not theirs to make. |
Anonymous
It wasn;t the college kid who did not want their sibling around. It was the sister looking at colleges. And she is right. why would you want the kid who alreadywent to college to be there? |
Anonymous
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Nothing wrong with bringing the family to the city, but if a DC that is in college or older has nothing better to do in a college town than tag along on a tour, I'd worry about that kid!
Definitely have the YOUNGER kids go along. |