Your take! Bartender likes my friend. He disagrees - Details...

[Anonymous]

My friend and I are having a debate. Please read and give your feedback!

A friend and I are regulars at a local bar/lounge. Not the type that attracts drunks or kids but more business types. Most people are in suits or well dressed and the average age is 40-60. The staff is in professional attire (No short shirts or shirts that show much cleavage, etc). Recently, I've been telling my friend one of the two bartenders (both who are drop dead gorgeous) likes him. I've been telling him for almost a year now! The other night I heard her talking to someone at the bar about sky diving and how she was going with her new boyfriend. Later that evening we're at the bar and I get a phone call. I step a few feet away and her and my friend are chatting. She brings up sky diving and how she wants to go. But, says she's going with "a guy". Not "boyfriend' or "new boyfriend" or "guy I'm dating". She literally said "a guy" - those exact words.

After overhearing that I'm convinced she, who looks like Alyssa Campanella, likes my friend or at least has a crush on him. I told him AGAIN but he doesn't believe me. To top it all off some times ago they exchanged cell numbers and text each other off and on (not often from what he says). How many attractive bartenders give their cell numbers to customers? My friend thinks she's just being nice because they get along and he tips well since we're regulars. He also doesn't believe me because he's 35 and she's 26. I keep telling him there's something going on, but he just coughs it up to her enjoying his company because he's easy going and approachable. My friend is a good looking guy, but a part of me thinks he just doesn't want to cross that line of bartender/patron.

Another thing that proves my point is during their conversation she talked about where she lives. My friend is familiar with the area so she tells him the exact apartment building and which floor she lives on. Now, she wasn't saying this in a "hitting on you" type of way. It just was conversation. But, I keep telling him women like her don't tell guys these types of things normally. He knows this (he's not a moron) but won't admit that she may like him. I know he has a small crush on her but the age difference is a concern for him and the whole bartender/patron relationship.

What are your thoughts? Do attractive bartenders give out their numbers to just anyone? I almost want to ask her flat out if she likes my friend. But, I think it would place her in an awkward situation.

[Anonymous]

A. Who cares?
B. You sound juvenile.
C. All bartenders work for tips.

[Anonymous]

1. You sound like a teenager.
2. Presumably he's an adult. He has her number and talks to her. If he wanted to date her, he'd ask her.
3. Yes, bartenders give out their numbers. She may have originally had a crush on him but realized he was never going to make a move. Now she keeps up the flirty/friendliness in order to get good tips.
4. Butt out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A. Who cares?
B. You sound juvenile.
C. All bartenders work for tips.

Well, clearly you care because you read the post and replied. LOL. I'll give my two cents. Yes she likes him. It may not be strong feelings but if she goes out of her way to above mentioning her boyfriend that's a strong sign. I know a few women who have crushes on friends or acquaintances and they never mention their boyfriends or whatnot. However I do agree with your friend that it is smart to avoid or be very careful of that type of relationship. First of all they are 9 years apart. Second of all if the relationship doesn't go well it's going to be uncomfortable for both of them. Besides this is a regular bar you guys visit so he's smart to take that into consideration.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. You sound like a teenager.
2. Presumably he's an adult. He has her number and talks to her. If he wanted to date her, he'd ask her.
3. Yes, bartenders give out their numbers. She may have originally had a crush on him but realized he was never going to make a move. Now she keeps up the flirty/friendliness in order to get good tips.
4. Butt out

OP here. Really? I sound like a teenager? Does my post read as if I'm in high school? No. It does not. Now, this board IS FOR RELATIONSHIP discussion correct? So, if you don't wan to give real feedback or discuss don't reply. Looks like someone has too much time on their hands or is just bitter.

[Anonymous]

Actually other than the fact that this takes place at a bar, the entire situation is very high schoolish

[Anonymous]

Your friend is an adult. He has her number. If he was legitimately interested in dating her, he'd ask her on a date. I think you need to back off

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Actually other than the fact that this takes place at a bar, the entire situation is very high schoolish

I see this sort of behavior at my office everyday. Even I have crushes on some of my co-workers and I'm married! Sure I know nothing will happen because I love my husband. But I can admit there are certain men in my office I prefer to speak with or sit next to in a conference

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Actually other than the fact that this takes place at a bar, the entire situation is very high schoolish

I see this sort of behavior at my office everyday. Even I have crushes on some of my co-workers and I'm married! Sure I know nothing will happen because I love my husband. But I can admit there are certain men in my office I prefer to speak with or sit next to in a conference

The crush part isn't what is high schoolish. It is ops behavior

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. You sound like a teenager.
2. Presumably he's an adult. He has her number and talks to her. If he wanted to date her, he'd ask her.
3. Yes, bartenders give out their numbers. She may have originally had a crush on him but realized he was never going to make a move. Now she keeps up the flirty/friendliness in order to get good tips.
4. Butt out

OP here. Really? I sound like a teenager? Does my post read as if I'm in high school? No. It does not. Now, this board IS FOR RELATIONSHIP discussion correct? So, if you don't wan to give real feedback or discuss don't reply. Looks like someone has too much time on their hands or is just bitter.

Except their is no RELATIONSHIP and really, yes, you sound like a teen. Tween maybe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. You sound like a teenager.
2. Presumably he's an adult. He has her number and talks to her. If he wanted to date her, he'd ask her.
3. Yes, bartenders give out their numbers. She may have originally had a crush on him but realized he was never going to make a move. Now she keeps up the flirty/friendliness in order to get good tips.
4. Butt out

OP here. Really? I sound like a teenager? Does my post read as if I'm in high school? No. It does not. Now, this board IS FOR RELATIONSHIP discussion correct? So, if you don't wan to give real feedback or discuss don't reply. Looks like someone has too much time on their hands or is just bitter.

Except their is no RELATIONSHIP and really, yes, you sound like a teen. Tween maybe.

"There is no"; not "their is no".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Actually other than the fact that this takes place at a bar, the entire situation is very high schoolish

This

[Anonymous]

Always find it interesting why people can't have fun on this message board. 90% of posts belittle people or are negative. I feel sorry for most of you. Does it make you feel better about yourself to post negative responses? Sheesh. I think all of you need to grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. You sound like a teenager.
2. Presumably he's an adult. He has her number and talks to her. If he wanted to date her, he'd ask her.
3. Yes, bartenders give out their numbers. She may have originally had a crush on him but realized he was never going to make a move. Now she keeps up the flirty/friendliness in order to get good tips.
4. Butt out

OP here. Really? I sound like a teenager? Does my post read as if I'm in high school? No. It does not. Now, this board IS FOR RELATIONSHIP discussion correct? So, if you don't wan to give real feedback or discuss don't reply. Looks like someone has too much time on their hands or is just bitter.

Except their is no RELATIONSHIP and really, yes, you sound like a teen. Tween maybe.

"There is no"; not "their is no".

shut it; your a looser to grammar Nazi. have fun wit dat

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Actually other than the fact that this takes place at a bar, the entire situation is very high schoolish

This

One more vote for "this."