Need positive stories about teens

[Anonymous]

My son is having major issues, he is almost 15. I don't want to get into the details right now.

I am worried sick, I can't eat, can't sleep.
I am so worried about his future.

Please share some positive stories about your troubled teen who improved through therapy or whatever.

I am feeling doom and gloom. I may need some meds or therapy myself to deal with this.

[Anonymous]

My friend's daughter went through a VERY difficult time in high school. She was into drinking, drugs, a bad peer group, etc. Depression underlay all of it, and she had to be hospitalized for a time. Eventually, she dropped out of HS and got her GED.

She went to community college for a couple of years and is now just 2 semesters from graduating from UMD with a great GPA and good career prospects. She's also a mature, self-aware young woman who takes excellent care of her mental health.

It was not easy. The daughter had extensive therapy, as did my friend and her husband. At one low point, my friend told me her only goal was to get her child to adulthood alive and not pregnant. Now, though, things are so much better.

It will be a rocky road. He may be making progress only to get slammed by a situation that pushes him back again. But with professional help and support, he could come out of it okay - even thriving. Definitely get therapy for yourself, too.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for sharing. I feel nauseous about everything.

My DH is more hopeful. But I think he is naive.

[Anonymous]

Rather than stewing you need to get professional help. DD went through abad time and came out fine, with lots if therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Rather than stewing you need to get professional help. DD went through abad time and came out fine, with lots if therapy.

Sorry, I didn't elaborate. We are getting professional help, already set up the appt for next week.
Do you feel comfortable elaborating on your situation?
I haven't eaten a thing all day.

[Anonymous]

I recommend the Harry Potter series.

[Anonymous]

I hear you, OP. I have no advice or stories, but you sound like a caring mom and that counts for a lot. Try to find someone professional you can talk to. I can hear how this is (understandably) making you very anxious. Hugs.

[Anonymous]

I am sorry you did not get more responses.

My H works with at risk youths.

Most kids with parents who can get help come though and have good lives.

There are some stories that will break your heart and unfortunately those are the only ones people talk about.

A large group of kids have awful teen years but once they get to 25 things seem to work out.

Slow and steady wins the race.

My own brother had a drug issue in his teens ... Graduated college at 25, law school at 32. He still has anxieties but he is very happy, successful and all around great guy.. Even though he is a lawyer.

[Anonymous]

I am a therapist and as part of my work I hear many, many stories about young people who really struggled in their teens and are doing so much better now. SOme were in reform school, drug rehab, failing out of school, or were in the hospital after a suicide attempt. It is amazing how many 20 somethings will tell me how defiant or difficult they were in high school, and how they were ready to give up all hope. Often it took at least one person caring about them and a little maturing time for them to turn things around. You'd be surprised.

[Anonymous]

Not a parent of a teen (yet), but I was a very, very troubled teen who put my parents through all kinds of hell. You name it, I did it: drinking, lots of drugs, sex early on, hanging out with an older, tough crowd, etc. Diagnosed with major depression, spent 28 days in an inpatient facility following a really rough patch. Things didn't magically clear up after I got out of there, but they did sloooowly start improving after lots of therapy and once the doctors finally found the right meds to put me on. To be very honest, figuring out the meds took quite awhile, but this was 20 years ago and not as much was known then, either. Anyway, fast forward: I ended up switching to a smaller HS midway through freshman year. That made a huge difference for me, because I felt like I could focus better and also felt comfortable talking with my teachers about what had happened. They were very understanding and worked with me to make sure the transition wasn't too overwhelming. I graduated with honors, attended a very good small college, graduated from there w/ honors, have a great job, married the love of my life and now have three great kids. I'm not going to lie and say it's all been sunshine and roses: I still see a psychiatrist and therapist regularly and am on meds to manage the depression. Some days are hard, but the majority are not. I can usually tell when I'm going into a depression and know how to preemptively deal with it. I don't drink much and I'm vigilant about working out, getting enough sleep, and taking care of myself as best I can. I know if I don't, I'm more likely to have a hard time and that will negatively impact the people I love most. My relationship with my parents is excellent now. I don't think any of us ever thought that would happen.

If there is anything I can say to a parent in your shoes, it would be this: I know you are worried sick about your kid, but please, please remember to also take care of YOU right now. Be good to yourself. Letting the stress of this wear you down isn't going to do anyone any good. There are many other parents going through similar issues with their kids. Seek them out and share your stories. Get yourself professional help if you feel like you might succumb to depression; it's nothing to mess around with. Raising a teenager is a marathon, not a sprint. I will keep you guys in my thoughts and hope for the best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a therapist and as part of my work I hear many, many stories about young people who really struggled in their teens and are doing so much better now. SOme were in reform school, drug rehab, failing out of school, or were in the hospital after a suicide attempt. It is amazing how many 20 somethings will tell me how defiant or difficult they were in high school, and how they were ready to give up all hope. Often it took at least one person caring about them and a little maturing time for them to turn things around. You'd be surprised.

Thanks, I hope so. He starts therapy next week.

[Anonymous]

My niece was in and out of rehab for drugs and eating disorders for years. Eventually got arrested one too many times and spent a year in jail followed by sober living. After she got out of sober living, she lived with her dad and enrolled in college and got a waitressing job. She recently graduated with a chemical engineering degree and had a job lined up before she even graduated. She is also movin in with her boyfriend who also keeps a clean and sober lifestyle

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am sorry you did not get more responses.

My H works with at risk youths.

Most kids with parents who can get help come though and have good lives.

There are some stories that will break your heart and unfortunately those are the only ones people talk about.

A large group of kids have awful teen years but once they get to 25 things seem to work out.

Slow and steady wins the race.

My own brother had a drug issue in his teens ... Graduated college at 25, law school at 32. He still has anxieties but he is very happy, successful and all around great guy.. Even though he is a lawyer.

Thanks for the post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a therapist and as part of my work I hear many, many stories about young people who really struggled in their teens and are doing so much better now. SOme were in reform school, drug rehab, failing out of school, or were in the hospital after a suicide attempt. It is amazing how many 20 somethings will tell me how defiant or difficult they were in high school, and how they were ready to give up all hope. Often it took at least one person caring about them and a little maturing time for them to turn things around. You'd be surprised.

Thanks, I hope so. He starts therapy next week.

I really wish you all the best, OP. Hang in there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not a parent of a teen (yet), but I was a very, very troubled teen who put my parents through all kinds of hell. You name it, I did it: drinking, lots of drugs, sex early on, hanging out with an older, tough crowd, etc. Diagnosed with major depression, spent 28 days in an inpatient facility following a really rough patch. Things didn't magically clear up after I got out of there, but they did sloooowly start improving after lots of therapy and once the doctors finally found the right meds to put me on. To be very honest, figuring out the meds took quite awhile, but this was 20 years ago and not as much was known then, either. Anyway, fast forward: I ended up switching to a smaller HS midway through freshman year. That made a huge difference for me, because I felt like I could focus better and also felt comfortable talking with my teachers about what had happened. They were very understanding and worked with me to make sure the transition wasn't too overwhelming. I graduated with honors, attended a very good small college, graduated from there w/ honors, have a great job, married the love of my life and now have three great kids. I'm not going to lie and say it's all been sunshine and roses: I still see a psychiatrist and therapist regularly and am on meds to manage the depression. Some days are hard, but the majority are not. I can usually tell when I'm going into a depression and know how to preemptively deal with it. I don't drink much and I'm vigilant about working out, getting enough sleep, and taking care of myself as best I can. I know if I don't, I'm more likely to have a hard time and that will negatively impact the people I love most. My relationship with my parents is excellent now. I don't think any of us ever thought that would happen.

If there is anything I can say to a parent in your shoes, it would be this: I know you are worried sick about your kid, but please, please remember to also take care of YOU right now. Be good to yourself. Letting the stress of this wear you down isn't going to do anyone any good. There are many other parents going through similar issues with their kids. Seek them out and share your stories. Get yourself professional help if you feel like you might succumb to depression; it's nothing to mess around with. Raising a teenager is a marathon, not a sprint. I will keep you guys in my thoughts and hope for the best.

Yes I do have to take care of me so I can be a good support to him.
I guess what scares me is that ds doesn't seem to think that things need to change. He is happy with the status quo. Clearly he has issues and he is opposed to meds.