Merging finances - how much to contribute to the joint account?

[Anonymous]

My husband and I are planning to combine most of our finances before our first child is born. I plan to set up a joint checking account and a joint credit card, and use those for all household, vacation and child-related expenses. We will still keep our respective individual accounts but pour the majority of our money into the joint account. For families doing it this way - how much of your respective incomes do you contribute? 75%? 80%? 85% Maybe irrelevant, but our HHI will probably about $170K this year, and while I am salaried, he is self-employed, so his income is not monthly.

[Anonymous]

100%. All of it. There's no "yours" and "mine." Only "ours." When you marry, you become a single financial unit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:100%. All of it. There's no "yours" and "mine." Only "ours." When you marry, you become a single financial unit.

Ok, well, for those who don't 100% feel that way, how much do you contribute?

[Anonymous]

Ignoring the wacko judgmental "WE ARE ONE AND TRUE" bunch....

We basically looked at all our monthly bills and came up with a number to cover that plus a decent cushion. And even though our incomes aren't exactly the same, we put in the same amount. (On a HHI of about $230k, we each put in $3k a month)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ignoring the wacko judgmental "WE ARE ONE AND TRUE" bunch....

We basically looked at all our monthly bills and came up with a number to cover that plus a decent cushion. And even though our incomes aren't exactly the same, we put in the same amount. (On a HHI of about $230k, we each put in $3k a month)

It's not "whacko." And, by the way, how dare you call me judgmental when you're the one name-calling? Look down at your finger that's pointing at me. What do you see? Oh yeah, three point back at you.

The best way to run a happy marriage and healthy financial household is to think of yourselves as a single financial unit. The separation of finances means you're not really "all in" on your marriage. It really is as simple as that. I acknowledged that there are some people who think this way. But by and large, they're not very happy, and they are prone to petty score keeping and arguments about money.

[Anonymous]

We make a budget, including savings, and check it quarterly. I make 2/3 of our income so I contribute 2/3 of the budgeted amount. DH contributes 1/3 of the budgeted amount.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignoring the wacko judgmental "WE ARE ONE AND TRUE" bunch....

We basically looked at all our monthly bills and came up with a number to cover that plus a decent cushion. And even though our incomes aren't exactly the same, we put in the same amount. (On a HHI of about $230k, we each put in $3k a month)

It's not "whacko." And, by the way, how dare you call me judgmental when you're the one name-calling? Look down at your finger that's pointing at me. What do you see? Oh yeah, three point back at you.

The best way to run a happy marriage and healthy financial household is to think of yourselves as a single financial unit. The separation of finances means you're not really "all in" on your marriage. It really is as simple as that. I acknowledged that there are some people who think this way. But by and large, they're not very happy, and they are prone to petty score keeping and arguments about money.

I'm impressed you are posting to the internet from your home in 1952.

[Anonymous]

We merge 100%. But we each get an allowance that we use for our own personal stuff--social stuff with friends, my hair, clothes shopping, his golf trips, etc.

So sort of the opposite of your idea, but in a way we have joint and individual monies.

[Anonymous]

Pre-kids we split household expenses 50/50 and put the money in the joint account from which all bills were paid(mortgage, insurance, cable, phones, etc.). My DH earns more, so he paid for most of the other other stuff(eating out, shopping, etc.). Now that we have to pay for daycare I pay my 50% +cost of daycare and he pays for EVERYTHING else. I still end up with a little bit of fun/hobby money for myself each month. This is what works well for us, but we're pretty easy going. YMMV

[Anonymous]

I always love the posters who think my marriage is bad and we are not fully committed because we don't merge 100% of our salaries. Thirteen years, two kids and one dog later we are going strong. Anyway, we have his, hers and our accounts. Every December we build a budget for the next year from the bottom up and we transfer what is needed to cover the expenses and a cushion. Because one of us significantly out earns the other we use a percentage of our salary. This yearly exercise-always done with a bottle of wine -- really forces us to discuss our short term and long term goals for our family. It may not work for everyone but it works for us.

[Anonymous]

We do all combined but set aside $200/mo in the budget for each of us for discretionary spending. Prior to marriage it was similar but with ind. accounts - we each kept a few hundred and combined the rest into one account. My recommendation, even if there's a big discrepancy in income, is to make sure your "allowances" (or what have you) are the same amount. You don't want to feel like you have to borrow from your spouse or have different standards of living, etc.

[Anonymous]

I just had this conversation with my recently married friend (I'm single). They contribute 80% of their incomes to the joint fund and 20% stays separate fir their own use. My friend, the wife, worked her butt of to get to a very high executive position and makes significantly more than her DH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We do all combined but set aside $200/mo in the budget for each of us for discretionary spending. Prior to marriage it was similar but with ind. accounts - we each kept a few hundred and combined the rest into one account. My recommendation, even if there's a big discrepancy in income, is to make sure your "allowances" (or what have you) are the same amount. You don't want to feel like you have to borrow from your spouse or have different standards of living, etc.

OP here - I like this, as well as 20:01's approach. It gets a little tricky for us, though, because my husband is self-employed so his allowance needs to cover fun money as well as business expenses. But I guess that's up to him to figure out before we break it all down.

[Anonymous]

Not sure if this approach would interest you, but my husband and I put a similar amount into a joint savings account every month. Then we roughly split bills (I pay the mortgage, he pays for daycare and the car) and pay out of our own checking accounts we had before we got married. Easy peasy.

[Anonymous]

We merged 100% because we started living together out of college and we just would have bounced too many checks otherwise (oops--dated myself again). Now money's not quite so tight and we each feel free to spend money on things. Would I consult my spouse before spendng $1000 on a hobby? Probably, but to get a second opinion, not for permission.

I don't think there's a right answer, but I do find it odd if there's a disparity in income and the person making more isn't contributing more in some fashion.