URGENT school issue-should he switch schools??

[Anonymous]

Ds is 14, finishing grade 9.
We do NOT live in DC. He has ADHD and has trouble making friends. He goes to a private school. This is his first year there. He told me he doesn't like it as it's a very small school (6 kids in his grade) and he hasn't made friends with the kids there. He doesn't fit in that well with the kids.

He is socially awkward at times and immature, he wants to change to a larger private school. I worry that he still won't make friends at the new school. New school has about 110 students per grade. Classes are bigger, around 18 kids.

I need to decide NOW as today is the last day I can get a refund on tuition. Please help. Are we trading one set of problems for another?
Smaller class sizes have been great as he is disorganized. He doesn't know a single person at the new school and tenth grade is not IMO a good time to switch schools.

I didn't know the best forum to out this in, sorry.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Studies show that <15 per class room is not ideal. If you told me the school was bigger I would say he needed to work harder on finding friends.

[Anonymous]

Maybe repost in the older kids section. But as a mom of a child who hates school and has no friends, I can say that it is truly heartbreaking to watch. If I had your option, I'd change and hope for the best.

[Anonymous]

Lay it out for him the way you did here with all the pros and cons and let him decide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Studies show that <15 per class room is not ideal. If you told me the school was bigger I would say he needed to work harder on finding friends.

WOW, I thought the small class sizes were really great. I guess not.
In what way is it not ideal? Socially or academically?

[Anonymous]

Obviously, there's a lot I don't know, but I'd move him. I think it's easier for a child to find their social network in a slightly larger group, and 118 is hardly an overwhelmingly large class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe repost in the older kids section. But as a mom of a child who hates school and has no friends, I can say that it is truly heartbreaking to watch. If I had your option, I'd change and hope for the best.

I suppose we could switch and then if that doesn't work out, we could always come back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Obviously, there's a lot I don't know, but I'd move him. I think it's easier for a child to find their social network in a slightly larger group, and 118 is hardly an overwhelmingly large class.

That's what he says.

[Anonymous]

I'd think with greater class size at least the chance of making friends would increase. Six kids per class is tough. I'm not sure how I would have fared in that situation, and being in a class with only six kids who are friends sounds horrible. With a bigger class size, all 110 can't be best friends with each other. I'd get the refund and try the bigger school. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd think with greater class size at least the chance of making friends would increase. Six kids per class is tough. I'm not sure how I would have fared in that situation, and being in a class with only six kids who are friends sounds horrible. With a bigger class size, all 110 can't be best friends with each other. I'd get the refund and try the bigger school. Good luck.

Thanks, I didn't sleep a wink last night.

[Anonymous]

From personal experience, it is painful to be in a tiny setting at a private school where no one is your friend.

That will stay with him for a lifetime, and is not worth one bit of extra attention and organization.

You would be better off homeschooling him and attending a weekly co op with more students his age.

In my opinion, six is an unacceptable number of classmates for a high school student.

110 is still a very small class, but opens him to the possibility of actually making one or two friends.

Listen to your son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From personal experience, it is painful to be in a tiny setting at a private school where no one is your friend.

That will stay with him for a lifetime, and is not worth one bit of extra attention and organization.

You would be better off homeschooling him and attending a weekly co op with more students his age.

In my opinion, six is an unacceptable number of classmates for a high school student.

110 is still a very small class, but opens him to the possibility of actually making one or two friends.

Listen to your son.

I can tell you I am not cut out for home schooling. Plus, that won't help him make friends. He wouldn't want to be home schooled anyway.
What do you mean 110 is a small class?

[Anonymous]

Keep the advice coming. I appreciate it so much.

[Anonymous]

Move him. Even if he doesn't make many friends in the new school, at least he can fall into the background or find kids not in a clique rather than being the odd ball out in a tiny group.

[Anonymous]

He is 14. He definitely has a say. Has he visited or shadowed at the new school? Do you feel they will accommodate his needs? 6 is very small. I would change.