Overly worrisome parent
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Anonymous
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We have three children, two girls, 15 and 12, one boy 7. We have hardly been apart from the kids since 1999.
My wife is not a big traveler and has anxiety being around lots of people, so we don't get to go to a lot of places, but have been to Disney World twice. Now taking my son to Disney is an adventure. He is diagnosed with ADHD and we finally have a treatment plan that is working well. But still, he is a boy and loves to pick on his sisters. In late July, my work is sending me to a seminar at the Swan Resort at Disney for three days. I have a room that will fit my wife and two girls. I would love to take my son, but I would also love to just spend a couple days with my girls because they are growing up so fast, and both were honor students this past school year. So some time away from brother would be a treat for them. They can hang out at the pools, go shopping, etc... Just relax...be girls. The plan was to leave my son with Grandma, who adore each other. But her health is not the greatest, she is 74. My wife is worried about being gone for four nights (about 600 miles away to Orlando). I suggested that maybe she can stay home and I'll just take the girls. It would be our first dad-daughter trip. She freaked out over that because what if something happens? Especially while I'm in the seminar for 8 hours a day? I felt the girls are mature enough to just hang out at the pool or stay in the resort, then after I get out of class, I would take them to dinner and go exploring Disney, etc... If they can't go, I may just turn down the trip because I would like for them to enjoy this trip with me. (I use to travel a lot on my own, and don't care for it anymore). Just not sure how to convince my wife that sometimes she just has to trust and have faith. |
Anonymous
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Won't your son be sad to not go to Disney?
I hope if you only take the girls you take him on a special boys trip. |
Anonymous
| 7 years old is prime age for Disney. I think your wife needs help, but I would take him. |
Anonymous
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I would never leave a 15 year old and 12 year girls alone in a hotel in this day and age. I agree with your DW -- this is crazy.
Also, I would be really concerned with the family dynamic of spending a vacation away from one sibling as a "treat" for the other siblings. Sort of cruel and not the attitude I would want to foster in the two older kids, especially since this is a vacation to DisneyWorld of all places. It would be different if it were a destination too mature for him but appropriate for his older sibs. My two cents. |
Anonymous
+1M |
Anonymous
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Some of my favorite memories of my father were our annual father-daughter dinner dates. The trip is something that will resonate with your girls for the rest of their lives.
I agree that your wife's anxiety issues should not become the burden of the children. Go! |
Anonymous
It doesn't have to be presented as a trip to Disney World. The father is attending a seminar at a Disney property, not spending three days in the theme parks. The girls will be using the hotel facilities. Why shouldn't a parent be able to do something special once in a while on an individual basis? |
Anonymous
How's it special to leave his kids alone in a hotel room watching cable all day? If OP wants to have a special trip with his girls, he should go on one where is actually available to spend time with them. |
Anonymous
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Don't exactly know what you are asking, but as the parent of kids the same age (except my ADHD son is the middle one), I can unequivocally say that I would take my kids alone and would be fine with them being alone while I was working. Make sure they have cellphones and that they answer them 100% of the time.
As for your son, I'm sure he will be sad to miss Disney, but he's had other Disney trips and you can take him another time or do something else special with him. As for his Grandmother, if she can handle him, I'd have no problem with leaving him but I would also be ready for your wife to fly home early if that is necessary. If I were in your shoes, I think my first choice of trips here would be with your older two kids. The oldest is close to the end of high school and then your time with her will be so limited. It would be nice to have a great trip with them. |
Anonymous
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I have a 12 and 7 year old (with ADHD). We've been to WDW many times. I think your 15 and 12 year olds would be completely fine. The Swan is a great location for this because they can walk to Hollywood Studios and to Epcot. Get parkhopper tickets and let them have a great time!
I would leave a hard copy of the conference schedule with them so that they know what conference room you'll be, just in case you don't have coverage. I would also make sure both kids have cell phones. I think the 7 year old would have a good time, but not if your wife is not having a good time. ADHD kids are HARD at WDW, especially if they are impulsive or hyper. |
Anonymous
What she said. My 9 year old with ADHD would be so happy at Disney. Cruel to deny him, especially if his siblings are going! Your wife can take some meds prescribed by a responsible doctor who knows her, and be a good parent and spouse and come with you. |
Anonymous
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14:31 again. Local schools allow middle school aged kids (12-14) to wander in theme parks like Busch Gardens in small groups on officially sanctioned field trips. So I would not worry at all about them in the parks.
The family dynamic, well only you can judge. But I know that my 12 year old NEEDS time away from the ADHD sibling now and then. |
Anonymous
| I think the parents saying no way have younger kids. I think it's totally fine and they could have a great time together. It's a good thing to take kids on individual vacations so as long as your ds gets some kind of trip of his own it's fine. |
Anonymous
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I have two boys aged 14 and 12. The older one has ADHD. I would never ever leave any kids alone in a strange city all day, that is asking for trouble.
I am with your wife here. Nor, would I leave the young one behind. I would go as a family or not at all. |
Anonymous
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If you will be on property for your conference, I don't see anything wrong with letting your girls hang out at the pool as long as the 15 year old is ok with being responsible for the 12 year old. I mean, she's fifteen! I babysat a lot at 15.
Just establish firm ground rules, check in with them periodically, make sure 15 year old has a phone. I think it's totally fine. |