Please tell me I'm not the one one that sometimes can't stand their spouse

[Anonymous]

The subject says it all. We have 2 little kids under 6 and I sometimes think I would just divorce him if we didn't have kids.

[Anonymous]

I've never thought about divorcing him but I have thought about killing him at times!

[Anonymous]

sometimes, yes. good lord, doesn't everyone? it's hard to live so close with someone and not rub up against each other's rough edges from time to time. when we had a newborn and he feigned helplessness about well everything, i considered homicide on a fairly regular basis. but if considering divorce is a frequent thought cycle for you over time . . . time to deal with the problems.

[Anonymous]

I have daydreamed up very elaborate scenarios of me murdering my spouse and getting away with it. I love my kids, but wish to Hell he was not the one I had kids with.

[Anonymous]

Have you considered therapy? Either solo or couples? I still want to choke him sometimes, but the word 'divorce' doesn't pop into my head anymore. Now he's a person who I occasionally want to kill, but never (ok, rarely) think I'll end up divorcing. It's totally natural to get really pissed off at someone you're with ALL THE TIME, particularly when added to the stress of having little kids. I feel like therapy helped us get back to a point where we could argue in a more reasonable fashion and do a better job of taking adversity in stride.

[Anonymous]

+1

[Anonymous]

OP here. I am going to look into therapy. I am really not too happy with DH right now and have felt this way for awhile. Maybe DH will be open to attending with me. I realize I am not a saint and I am sure there are things I could work on but for the past 3-6 months I like him less and less

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have daydreamed up very elaborate scenarios of me murdering my spouse and getting away with it. I love my kids, but wish to Hell he was not the one I had kids with.

Honey, is that you? Believe me, the scenario is mutual. We're clearly soul mates.

[Anonymous]

Yes, OP, regularly.

[Anonymous]

I love my DH, food times and bad. We definitely fight more now bc we are tired from our two young children. But we realize that and talk about it. His hours don't help either. But at the end of the day nobody replaces the dad role. My kids adore their father. We do talk about issues and don't let resentment build up. Both if us are reasonable. Ie, if I'm bitching about the mess DH is like please hire a cleaning lady but I'm too tired to help out. I'm giving you the option to outsource. Etc. or we rotate days to sleep in. If we do fight we realize it's bc we are sooo tiered and do exhausted from parenting and just like they ca get snazzy when they're tired/hungry we do to. It's important to stay in sync with each other to make it thru raising the kids. I have lots of friends whose marriages fell apart after children. Marriage is hard as it is and having children can make your cracks wider. I think therapy is a great idea to help work thru issues.

[Anonymous]

I am married to the most wonderful and handsome man in the world and I am happy with him 100% of the time.

I also drink... a lot.

[Anonymous]

It's hard living and working with two young kids. You aren't alone. I have had unspeakable fantasies about not having dh around. But then we take a minute to breathe and remember why we love each other and that it's really the kids who are ruining our marriage with their demands--haha. Good luck, hang in there. Wine does help!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love my DH, food times and bad. We definitely fight more now bc we are tired from our two young children. But we realize that and talk about it. His hours don't help either. But at the end of the day nobody replaces the dad role. My kids adore their father. We do talk about issues and don't let resentment build up. Both if us are reasonable. Ie, if I'm bitching about the mess DH is like please hire a cleaning lady but I'm too tired to help out. I'm giving you the option to outsource. Etc. or we rotate days to sleep in. If we do fight we realize it's bc we are sooo tiered and do exhausted from parenting and just like they can get snazzy when they're tired/hungry we do to. It's important to stay in sync with each other to make it thru raising the kids. I have lots of friends whose marriages fell apart after children. Marriage is hard as it is and having children can make your cracks wider. I think therapy is a great idea to help work thru issues.

I know it's probably supposed to be snappy but getting snazzy sounds so much better! Don't get snazzy with me!

[Anonymous]

You must be new.

[Anonymous]

Periodically - once or twice per year, or more if he's unusually stressed - DH becomes highly irrational and refuses to recognize it. This leads to resentment and arguments and I hate him off and on for weeks until it simmers down, until the next time.

Divorce has always been at the very back of my mind. Occasionally it comes to the fore. However the kids are happy right now, and will continue to be. I'm just getting worried this propensity of DH to go crazy will increase as he gets older.