if your parents are local, how often do you see them?

[Anonymous]

I am asking because my mom lives very close to me, and I am feeling guilty that I don't visit with her more than 2-3 times per week. She is disabled, has no friends, and really very little social outlet other than my nuclear family. Although her situation is fairly unique and she probably warrants more visits than a parent that is well and sociable, I need some perspective to understand what the baseline is for most parents/adult children.

[Anonymous]

My mom lives on the other side of the beltway, about 45 minute drive. She works full time, so usually only on the weekends. And not every weekend, but 2-3 weekends a month we will see her for 3-5 hours or so. She's helpful and babysits a lot.

I would do what's right for you. 2-3 times a week sounds like a lot. I'm sure she's grateful.

[Anonymous]

Two or three times a week.

[Anonymous]

About once every two weeks.

[Anonymous]

My parents live about 30min drive away (we're in DC, they're inside the Beltway in NoVA), we see them about the same amount that 14:32 sees her mom.

[Anonymous]

I agree that 2 or 3 times a week sounds like a ton---unless they are in the same exact area/neighborhood, e.g., Arlington or McLean for instance.

My parents live 20-25 minutes south of me down I-95. READ: tons of traffic. During rush hour- double this time. I can make it on the HOV lanes in non-peak hours about 20 min.

My parents come to my kids' weekend sports games. My kids go for a sleepover once a month. Occasionally- they will come over to meet us for lunch. We do holidays and birthdays together.

But my kids are elementary school-age. they are in school 9-3:45 and then have sports practice (between the two of them 2-4 nights per week). When the hell would we see them during the week???

I also work. I WAH so my mom has come for lunch once in awhile. We are about 3-4 times per MONTH. We talk on the phone about 3 times per week. My boys are VERY close to my mom and dad. My oldest just wrote a paper about grandpa as his favorite person.

I used to work down the hall from my dad so that was nice for about 5 years until he retired.

[Anonymous]

Totally different circumstances, but I see my parents 6 days a week. We live 3.5 miles apart. They pick up my kids from school; I pick the kids up from their house after work. They come to the kids games on the weekend. I'm lucky as hell, and it's mostly terrific.

I think in your situation 2-3 times a week sounds right.

[Anonymous]

My ILs live about 5-10 minutes away from us (my parents are about 3 hours away, so it's a production to visit). We go over there for dinner anywhere between 1-2 times a week to once a month. It really varies based on how busy all of us are. It tends to be more often when there are birthdays or other celebrations/holidays.

[Anonymous]

DH's mom is 10 minutes away. She might come over twice a year. My mom is an hour by plane. She visits about twice per year. Interesting.

[Anonymous]

2-3 times a week would never work for me. I'm an introvert and don't like spending that much time with anyone. Once a week max.

[Anonymous]

1/2 hour away. Usually every two weeks.

I am about to go more often because she needs help with some projects.

3x a week sounds like a lot if you are balancing parenting too.

[Anonymous]

In same neighborhood, 5 out of 7 days a week we either talk or see each other. It's too much. I turned her on to the Red Hat Ladies and that has helped her get out more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am asking because my mom lives very close to me, and I am feeling guilty that I don't visit with her more than 2-3 times per week. She is disabled, has no friends, and really very little social outlet other than my nuclear family. Although her situation is fairly unique and she probably warrants more visits than a parent that is well and sociable, I need some perspective to understand what the baseline is for most parents/adult children.

I wouldn't waste your time on guilt, OP. What I would focus on is trying to help her get connected socially. Maybe there is a volunteer program where someone would visit her once a week? Are there ways she can occupy her time like a hobby?

[Anonymous]

They live about 45 minutes from us. We see them almost once a week. They come to recitals the kids are in or competitions, plays, big games, etc. If nothing's going on they'll just come for dinner or brunch.

Sometimes one of the kids will ask to sleep over at their house during a long weekend, so DH will drive them there.

[Anonymous]

My parents live a few minutes away. I talk to them every day and see them a couple of times a week--more often when my kids were young.