Hanging up?

[Anonymous]

I need to vent.

Whenever I call my Mother and she does not like what I say, the tone of my voice, the way I word something, she just hangs up on me. Mid-sentence, it doesn't matter. She will just hang up. When I try to call her back, Sometimes she answers, but hangs up again...othertimes she just wont answer.

Im completely fed up with it.

I don't know what to do. I'm about to tell her to not contact me anymore...If she can't control herself and takes everything out on me, I dont really want to have a relationship with her. Am I overreacting?

[Anonymous]

You aren't overreacting. Hanging up is extremely rude. She should be able to say, at a minimum, that she is angry and cannot continue talking. She'll call you back later (few days or whatever) when she's able to discuss it civilly.

And if there are certain topics that always push her buttons, I'd try to avoid them as much as possible.

[Anonymous]

Oh, and if she can't do this at a minimum, then confine your conversations to in person or by e-mail. There is no reason you need to put up with that behavior, even from (especially from) your mother.

[Anonymous]

Argh, my sister does this to me and it INFURIATES me. No advice, just empathy.

[Anonymous]

Fire her immediately.

[Anonymous]

OP - you have my sympathy. My mom gets really short with me and will hang up after a quick, "OK, bye.". I can't figure out what I have done. So annoying. I think it is a power thing.

[Anonymous]

I have been having this go on with my mother for the last 7 years--since my twins were born. I'm so depressed about our relationship it--she barely interacts wit my kids at all. It is very complicated and horrible.

[Anonymous]

i do the quick ok bye and hangup with my own mother. sometimes i just don't have the time or patience for her bs.

[Anonymous]

my mom never did this until she let my lazy stupid brother's wife, who does all kinds of rude shit to her own mom and sisters, live with her. then she did it to me. we don't speak anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:my mom never did this until she let my lazy stupid brother's wife, who does all kinds of rude shit to her own mom and sisters, live with her. then she did it to me. we don't speak anymore.

I seriously need to join a "victimized by lazy stupid brother's influence on mother" support group . My brother's wife seems nice enough. My brother and mother have form a cabal against me...

[Anonymous]

Wow, weird how many people are having this problem.

OP I would not call your mom anymore. Email it is from now on. Her behavior is abusive and not acceptable.

I will say my mom does something a little similar. We'll be in the middle of a call and she ends it rather abruptly. Not exactly the rude hang up but a sudden "OK I've had enough" sort of way.

I can't figure out why. She says she WANTS us to call more often, misses us, etc. etc. Then she can't be bothered to talk. She is not a very busy person so it's not that. Just weird.

[Anonymous]

she sounds a little nuts..sorry about this OP. i would immediately stop calling her. forever.

[Anonymous]

over hangups? geesh. a little bit much, no?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:she sounds a little nuts..sorry about this OP. i would immediately stop calling her. forever.

It is very hard to cut off ties with your mother--I know this part of the abuse cycle from her it has crippled me --I'm very emotionally dependent on her--ever since I got married I have felt horribly rejected by her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:she sounds a little nuts..sorry about this OP. i would immediately stop calling her. forever.

It is very hard to cut off ties with your mother--I know this part of the abuse cycle from her it has crippled me --I'm very emotionally dependent on her--ever since I got married I have felt horribly rejected by her.

I know this sounds like a DCUM refrain, but perhaps you should look into getting some therapy to work out your issues about your mother. Hanging up on you is a way of controlling you -- telling you what to think and say, and if you do the wrong thing, then BANG, you are cut off.

My mother had an emotionally abusive mother, yet my mother could not cut off ties with her mom, even though every interaction with her mom upset my mom. My mom ought to have gotten therapy and figured out how to protect herself from her mother, but she loved her mother, and couldn't do it. The result was that our whole family suffered because my mom lacked the strength to tell her mom to go to hell. There's no point in subjecting yourself to more abuse -- it's a downward spiral, and she'll never change if you don't.