Can a marriage make you physically sick?

[Anonymous]

My spouse is emotionally abusive. Lately in our home, if there is any conflict, which usually happens every night if not more, I can feel my heart fluttering and sometimes my ears turning red. I dread going home after work. Sometimes I feel that if I do not get out, no matter how that affects our child, I am going to wind up in the cardiac ward.

[Anonymous]

of course, mine makes me physically sick too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:of course, mine makes me physically sick too.

my heart is what worries me. As you know, these things can't go on forever. My family tells me to leave and things will work out one way or the other.

[Anonymous]

My intestines get tied in knots when I get into conflicts, major stomach aches and sometimes diarrhea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My spouse is emotionally abusive. Lately in our home, if there is any conflict, which usually happens every night if not more, I can feel my heart fluttering and sometimes my ears turning red. I dread going home after work. Sometimes I feel that if I do not get out, no matter how that affects our child, I am going to wind up in the cardiac ward.

Do you really think that your child is better off witnessing emotional abuse rather than having parents get a divorce? You should be more worried about what you're doing to your child than what your marriage is doing to you. You, at least, have a choice.. your child doesn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My spouse is emotionally abusive. Lately in our home, if there is any conflict, which usually happens every night if not more, I can feel my heart fluttering and sometimes my ears turning red. I dread going home after work. Sometimes I feel that if I do not get out, no matter how that affects our child, I am going to wind up in the cardiac ward.

Tell your spouse that he/she is emotionally abusive and you both need to go to counseling. Otherwise you want a divorce. And follow through. Do NOT make idle threats when you mention the word "divorce."

In our marriage, we both want "till death do us part" so we are very clear on what equates to divorce (ex. cheating.). We also do not use the "D" word unless we actually mean it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My spouse is emotionally abusive. Lately in our home, if there is any conflict, which usually happens every night if not more, I can feel my heart fluttering and sometimes my ears turning red. I dread going home after work. Sometimes I feel that if I do not get out, no matter how that affects our child, I am going to wind up in the cardiac ward.

Do you really think that your child is better off witnessing emotional abuse rather than having parents get a divorce? You should be more worried about what you're doing to your child than what your marriage is doing to you. You, at least, have a choice.. your child doesn't.

And my child also does not need a dead parent. Yup, I have thought this over and over - how can we afford two households? what would a divorce process be like? what would being unmarried do? It's not easy pulling the plug.

[Anonymous]

You should tell your husband this.
If he doesn't care then you should leave him - what is the point in staying married to someone who wouldn't care about this.

[Anonymous]

Any abusive relationship can do this to you. Please speak to someone for help.

[Anonymous]

I'm just starting the process of standing up for myself. It makes me on edge when he's not around. When he is around, I am so worried he's going to blow that I feel like I am going to vomit.

[Anonymous]

OP, to answer your question in a nutshell: Absolutely.

Stress like the kind you have described can affect your body in every physical way possible. It is not only mentally unhealthy to stay in an unhealthy relationship, it is also physically unhealthy as well.

For you and your child's sake, you need to decide what to do to about this situation NOW. Because you simply cannot go on living the way you are. Dreading going home every day is no way for any person to live.

Either talk to your partner and decide if your union can be fixed. Or is it even worth being fixed. If so, then both of you need to take the necessary steps to salvage your marriage as best as you can.

If that idea is not a possibility at this point, then you must figure out a way for you + your child to survive together w/out your husband. It won't be easy, but it will be a lot easier than living w/a person who demeans you on a daily basis and sucks your spirit day by day.

You owe it to your child and to yourself to take care of your body.

Your health is EVERYTHING.

Don't believe me?

Ask anyone who is fighting to live right now...Anyone suffering from cancer....And then try to doubt me.

I wish you and your child luck w/this.

I know it won't be an easy path whatever you decide to do, but in the end it will be so worth it. I promise.

[Anonymous]

Yes. My marriage was not abusive, but I was so stressed during the last year or so that I felt like I was going to develop some serious illness if I didn't end it.

[Anonymous]

Yes, of course. Stress raises cortisol levels, which is unhealthy, and a bad marriage can cause stress. A bad marriage can also make you depressed, which has all sorts of physiological effects.

[Anonymous]

I realized our marriage had huge issues when DH left me for a month w two kids under 3 and it was the best time I've had in years. I felt so happy, so relaxed, was truly enjoying my kids and my life without having to worry that someone would become enraged over something stupid and scream and throw things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My spouse is emotionally abusive. Lately in our home, if there is any conflict, which usually happens every night if not more, I can feel my heart fluttering and sometimes my ears turning red. I dread going home after work. Sometimes I feel that if I do not get out, no matter how that affects our child, I am going to wind up in the cardiac ward.

Yes. I was married to someone who was emotionally abusive. I felt sick all the time, especially after one of his rants. I lost a lot of weight. We were only married for 8 months it was pure hell. I eat, sleep because I was so stressed out.