Sibling Only Vacation
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Anonymous
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My brother and I are very close. He lives in upstate NY. It is important to us for our children to spend time together. We agreed that we would all do something as a group this summer. We ended up renting a beach house. He and his family will fly to DC and then we will all drive to the beach.
We intentionally did not mention this to our father and step mother. While we love them, we really wanted a kids only vacation. But my nephew spilled the beans when he was talking to grandma and grandpa. Now our parents want to come. There is enough room for them in the house; we just don't want them to come. But they are making it hard on my brother. He only gets 2 weeks of vacation a year. He is spending 1 week at the beach with us. Our parents want him to extend his vacation and fly into DC so that they can spend time with their grandchildren. He doesn't have the vacation time. If we invite our parents, they will want to come for the whole week. They will not make the drive for just a few days. So now what....and I know that I'm already screwed because they already know that they were not invited originally. One option would be for my brother's family to drive back from the beach after 3 or 4 days and spend time with our parents, but that doesn't really seem fair to the kids. And the point of the trip was for the cousins to spend time together. |
Anonymous
| You and your brother need to grow back bones and tell your parents the truth. What a concept! |
Anonymous
| Sadly, the house was too small to fit in another couple. And the hotels you would want to stay in were booked in April. Let's do it another time, Dad. |
Anonymous
We already did. We told them that we wanted a kids only vacation. So now what..... |
Anonymous
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"Sorry Mom. This year John and I agreed we're doing a siblings only vacation. Maybe next year!"
Keep it short and simple. Do not give reasons why it can't work - they will just come up with work-arounds. |
Anonymous
I like this. Although in my head I already here the work around...."I won't be around next year". My dad is 75. It maybe true, it may not be true. |
Anonymous
| just do not tell them where you're staying and the specific dates. it's that simple. it's hard to crash a party you can't find. |
Anonymous
Now, they can sulk and pound sand. |
Anonymous
| Can you make time for your brothers kids to visit the grandparents? Pay for a sitter and take the kids to grandparents sans parents. That way grandparents get time with grand kids but don't have to be exhausted to do it, and it doesn't use up all the vacation time. |
Anonymous
| Tell the truth. Im close with my sister and parents but I'm an adult and can choose to vacation with my sisters family. Sometimes its easier to have a smaller group and nice to have the bonding time. |
Anonymous
I don't think this will work. His family is flying in from NY in the 6am flight. They land in DC around 8:30. We are hoping to be on the road by 10. I believe it's about 6 hours drive. We have the house on a sat -sat rental. Coming home we will drive back on Sat and they will fly out on the 6am flight Sunday morning. The kids start school the following day. We could tell our parents that we could get together on Sat night before they fly out but we have no control over traffic and don't don't what time we will end up back in DC. One of the reasons we not want our parents to come is that they are very rigid.. What time will you be here? Why are you late? You said you would be here by 5 and now it's 3 and your still 4 hrs away... Those type of comments are par for the course. |
Anonymous
I love this. How did you know they were sulking! It's exactly what they are doing! |
Anonymous
| I'd just stand your ground. Tell them sorry, next year you all can plan a big family trip and get a bigger house. Leave it at that. They weren't invited to begin with and aren't now either. |
Anonymous
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1 - your brother invites the grandparents to visit his family in NY
2 - could your brother's kids arrive a few days earlier to spend time with the grandparents in DC before heading to the beach? This might entail someone finding and paying a sitter / mother's helper. Might also mean that the kids stay with you. |
Anonymous
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"Now our parents want to come"
You didn't want them to come. Your problem is you. You need to be willing to say, "this is something we planned with just our two families. We'll look forward to seeing you another time." Done. You/sibling are the ones creating drama - if you are not willing to say how it's going to be. |