Husband needs to be paid more -- how do I convince him?
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Anonymous
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We have a baby on the way, and we need a boost in income to ensure that we can offer our child things that we both lacked growing up. For those itching to attach, let me be clear -- husband has not had a raise years, is constantly "on call", and should definitely be earning more considering his level of experience/responsibility. This is not a situation where I need my man to make more $$$ so I can have a BMW.
The need to scrounge for income has forced me to start looking for a new job as I think it is unlikely in my current job (fed employee) that I would get a raise I so desperately deserve. This has put a lot of pressure on me. Husband has been hearing from me for years about the need for us to make more money. I've shown him our budgets, I've showed him the amount we put toward our student loans -- it has done nothing to motivate him and I'm getting frustrated. Frustrated to the point that it is hurting our relationship. What can I do to get him to at least start looking and applying? I'm the breadwinner by a considerable amount and I can't have all the financial obligation fall on me anymore. |
Anonymous
| What "things" did you lack growing up that you want to provide? Answer that and we'll give you better answers. |
Anonymous
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OP here --
Not having to see parents stress over money or see one parent work two jobs The freedom to do activities Having much of college/grad school paid for Adding daycare to the mix will stretch us to the max. We need more income for anything beyond the basics (food, shelter, daycare, etc.) |
Anonymous
| Maybe you should of thought about this before you got pregnant. Just assuming your partner will figure out how to make more money while your pregnant is poor planning on your part. |
Anonymous
| Good luck. You sound very charming. Instead of worrying about a BMW, you may want to worry about retirement, day care, baby needs, college fund, etc. |
Anonymous
She said
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Anonymous
| This is a relationship issue, not a financial issue. I would seek counseling to work on your communication skills. |
Anonymous
+1 why get pregnant if you aren't financially ready for one? |
Anonymous
+ 1,000 
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Anonymous
| That's tough OP. Sounds like you and dh aren't on the same page regarding your finances. If he really wanted to provide for his family you wouldn't need to convince him to do what was necessary to do so. I hate to say it but sounds like your marriage is headed for a very rocky time. Babies are stressful in the best of situations and when you add money problems on top, it becomes a powder keg. Good luck. |
Anonymous
It is a situation where she wants more... it doesn't matter about if it is a BWM or what, but they are not financially responsible given it sounds like they both have ok income. |
Anonymous
| Curious OP, what is your HHI? |
Anonymous
| You guys are harsh... |
Anonymous
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Depending on the industry a "no raises" situation is not uncommon. Many companies are laying off, cutting benefits, etc. If he has a well paying, stable job that is a definite luxury. Finding a job now, depending on his field, may be difficult, stressful, and time-consuming with many unknowns. Not the kind of thing I personally would do with a baby on the way.
If you want to talk about budget - the answer is seldom "make more money" (although it would be nice if it were that easy), it is more often "spend less". |
Anonymous
| OP here -- it was silly of me to seek advice from strangers. This is probably more of a relationship issue anyway. |