Anyone else not "co-sleep" with spouse?

[Anonymous]

Just curious if we are the only ones that have separate bedrooms (because of snoring or whatever reason) & how that affects kids, etc...

flame away if you need to, I'll just ignore those posts.

[Anonymous]

I don't, but wouldn't think it would affect the kids as long as the marriage/fam,ily is good.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the PP. My parents slept in separate beds when I was growing up but their marriage was strong and is still strong to this day (35 yrs later). My husband thinks this is strange, but on the other hand, his parents are bitterly divorced.

My parents did it b/c my dad got up very early, traveled a lot, and my mom is a restless sleeper. I think there is a presumption that if spouses aren't sleeping together at night, then something is wrong with the marriage--probably the image of one spouse sleeping on the couch is in our national conscience. But this isn't necessarily the case. I know quite a few otherwise happy couples who do this. Do what works best for you.

[Anonymous]

I personally do not know anyone under 60 with seperate bedrooms.

[Anonymous]

We sleep in seperate rooms most of the time. We have completely different sleeping habits, early to bed vs late, tv vs no tv and of course snoring. So during the week it is hard to get a good night sleep so we sleep in different beds otherwise I wouldn't get any sleep. We often sleep in the same bed on the weekends when I don't stress over getting enough sleep to be able to go to work. Our DC is only 4 months so I can't give any insight on how it effects kids at this point. We all wind up in the same bed on weekend mornings though, including the dog

[Anonymous]

Yeah, we sleep in separate rooms about half the time (usually on nights DH has to get up for work the next morning). I do think it's funny when ds (3) says something about "daddy's room" but I don't think he thinks anything is unusual. I'm not overly worried about it, but would prefer if we "co-slept" more often. DH thinks he doesn't sleep as well in the shared bed, but I'm not convinced that's true.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes, a little personal space doesn't sound like such a bad idea. I like to leave a little light on. Not surprisingly, DH doesn't appreciate this. He also wakes up at 4 AM and, while he claims he doesn't intend to wake me, he stomps around opening drawers loudly, then kisses me roughly and tries to talk to me. He also goes into DC's room with some of the same "good morning" treatment. DC usually sleeps through this, but not always. When I'm free from my own worries and sleeping generally soundly, I go right back to sleep, myself. Trouble is, I'm usually on a tight schedule, try to stay up a little later than everyone else so I can have some quiet time to get things done, and hate to have my own balance upset so selfishly.

[Anonymous]

I'm considering doing this for a while--29 weeks pregnant and I need more space. I just got back from staying at my parents' for a week (DH didn't go, had to work) and I slept so well there in a bed by myself! Since I got back I've been tired and wake up more in the night, so I may try the guest room as soon as I get all the xmas crap off the bed and put away.

[Anonymous]

For those who have trouble sleeping together, try pushing two twin size beds together to make a king. They sell something called the king sizer, which is basically foam so you don't fall in the crack. Then I got a cheapo matress pad, a really nice mattress pad, and king size sheets and we sleep great. Each person can get in and out of bed, toss and turn all night and the other person never feels a thing.

I have to say, I know separate beds works for some, but I personally could not do it because I feel like a lot of the intimate moments in a marrage happen when you are next to each other in bed -- like talking about things that are bothering you or making you happy, sharing bad dreams, waking up together, and of course, sex -- which would be more scarce if in separate beds. I think we would go to bed mad at each other more often and make up nicely less when arguing. Plus, there is something to be said for having someone to out your cold feet on at night! h

[Anonymous]

We have separate bedrooms (DH is an awful sleeper) and it doesn't seem to affect my kids.

[Anonymous]

We don't, but sometimes I wish we did. I would miss the intimacy, but I wouldn't miss the tv on until all hours, the snoring and being woken up an hour earlier than I need to. None except the tv habit are his fault, but damn I slept so great for the three nights he was traveling this week!

[Anonymous]

This was a problem in my marriage. I would go TO bed with my husband, but I wanted to leave for actual sleep. This hurt his feelings.

I know plenty of other couples who do this too. I've heard nowadays there is a new trend in home building (back when we were building new homes I suppose) where there are TWO connecting master bedrooms for exactly this issue.

[Anonymous]

For those who do sleep in different rooms, I'm curious to know how it positively or negatively affects your marriage? My husband snores, and it drives me crazy. I've contemplated sleeping in the guest room, but wasn't sure if it would be hard on the marriage.

[Anonymous]

My parents have slept in separate bedrooms for a long time now, mostly due to snoring issues and the fact that my Mom gets up a million times a night to let her cat in and out of the house (totally ridiculous, if you ask me - and I have two cats). I always felt kind of weird telling people about it (friends who would come over, etc.). They just built a new house with two master bedrooms. I guess it works for them.

And oddly enough, more and more frequently I've having sleeping issues due to DH snoring (not all that bad but I'm very sensitive to noise when I'm trying to sleep) and find myself going into the guest bedroom to sleep. It's crossed my mind that maybe we'll end up like my parents at some point...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those who do sleep in different rooms, I'm curious to know how it positively or negatively affects your marriage? My husband snores, and it drives me crazy. I've contemplated sleeping in the guest room, but wasn't sure if it would be hard on the marriage.

I am a PP who sleeps in seperate beds; I don't think it negativly effects at all. I think that when I was not getting enough sleep it effected us in a negative way because I would be so annoyed about being woken up multiple times a night. Until this post I did not know of anyone else who does this and I used to feel a little weird about it but at this point it doesn't bother us at all. We do sleep together on most weekends so we still get some of the intimacy/bed time but during the week it is imposible. I go to bed early and get up early, DH goes to bed late, wakes late, watches TV to fall asleep and snores. Not to mention that since our DC was born I am a super light sleeper and have trouble staying asleep at all. I think different things work for different people. I heard on the radio a while ago that building houses with two master bedrooms was an increasing trend so I guess it is more common than I thought.