What happened to your ex physically after divorce?

[Anonymous]

Two years divorced and I am just beginning to physically from the stress it took on my body -- had tons of stress related issues from skin to hair to weight occur.

My ex looks even worse than me though. Gained a lot of weight. Always scraggly with his hair and facial hair. It's an insane departure.

Comparing our last pictures together, to what we both look like now, is SO depressing. Sometimes it makes me wonder if we were even that unhappy, because we looked so fresh and young together. Rapid devolution in two years time.

Will we ever full recover or did we just slide down the spiral big time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two years divorced and I am just beginning to physically from the stress it took on my body -- had tons of stress related issues from skin to hair to weight occur.

My ex looks even worse than me though. Gained a lot of weight. Always scraggly with his hair and facial hair. It's an insane departure.

Comparing our last pictures together, to what we both look like now, is SO depressing. Sometimes it makes me wonder if we were even that unhappy, because we looked so fresh and young together. Rapid devolution in two years time.

Will we ever full recover or did we just slide down the spiral big time?

Stress will do that to people. But always remember, even for the best looking of people, looks fade, looks change.

[Anonymous]

I noticed that with my ex as well. I was not as stressed and am younger so I don't notice anything significant in myself. Find ways to relax, be in peace. Good luck OP

[Anonymous]

The divorce diet? Best diet ever.

Back on thr market and better than ever. Ex is eating his heart out and fatter.

[Anonymous]

I think in the short term you can blame divorce on something like physical looks, but in the long term, if you are not taking care of yourself, it is about your relationship with yourself, not anyone else. Yes, going through highly, ridiculously stressful times like divorce leads to unhealthy behaviors like weight gain/loss, alcohol use, possibly depending on sleeping pilll or anxiety meds, neglecting yourself etc., but after the shock wears off, even if you under stress, people who truly value themselves will not fall into bad habits like eating and drinking or starving etc.

That's not a put down BTW. I don't want to sound insensitive - I've gone through a separation and aftermath of his affair so I know what it's like to be at rockbottom. But eventually the best way up is to start truly believing that you deserve to take care of yourself. You may not get time to exercise etc. due to divorce logistics, bearing the parenting burden etc. but there are always healthier choices you can make. I found taking long walks, cooking healthy meals, anything I could do to show myself I was valuing myself, made it easier to believe I did value myself, and that I was worth taking care of.

I'm sorry you both went through a tough time and I hope you are in a better place now. Studies have shown divorced men tend to live shorter lives and be unhealthier overall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think in the short term you can blame divorce on something like physical looks, but in the long term, if you are not taking care of yourself, it is about your relationship with yourself, not anyone else. Yes, going through highly, ridiculously stressful times like divorce leads to unhealthy behaviors like weight gain/loss, alcohol use, possibly depending on sleeping pilll or anxiety meds, neglecting yourself etc., but after the shock wears off, even if you under stress, people who truly value themselves will not fall into bad habits like eating and drinking or starving etc.

That's not a put down BTW. I don't want to sound insensitive - I've gone through a separation and aftermath of his affair so I know what it's like to be at rockbottom. But eventually the best way up is to start truly believing that you deserve to take care of yourself. You may not get time to exercise etc. due to divorce logistics, bearing the parenting burden etc. but there are always healthier choices you can make. I found taking long walks, cooking healthy meals, anything I could do to show myself I was valuing myself, made it easier to believe I did value myself, and that I was worth taking care of.

I'm sorry you both went through a tough time and I hope you are in a better place now. Studies have shown divorced men tend to live shorter lives and be unhealthier overall.

I completely agree, 100%. Bad results with my docs have kicked me into high gear to be healthier.

I feel so sad when I see him and what has happened to him. I know those divorced men stats.

Thanks for the kind words.

[Anonymous]

When we separated, I lost about 20 pounds. I had no appetite, barely slept, etc. I did a ton of yoga to cope with my stress, which kept me in shape (more or less) and quit drinking completely (because I figured I had enough going on). It was 20 pounds in about 2 months.

Then after a couple months, when things started to normalize, I got a new haircut and weeded out my closet of the dumpy post-baby clothing that no longer fit me. Looked about 5 years younger and happier for the whole experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When we separated, I lost about 20 pounds. I had no appetite, barely slept, etc. I did a ton of yoga to cope with my stress, which kept me in shape (more or less) and quit drinking completely (because I figured I had enough going on). It was 20 pounds in about 2 months.

Then after a couple months, when things started to normalize, I got a new haircut and weeded out my closet of the dumpy post-baby clothing that no longer fit me. Looked about 5 years younger and happier for the whole experience.

You're giving me hope!

I hope my ex pulls it together, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we separated, I lost about 20 pounds. I had no appetite, barely slept, etc. I did a ton of yoga to cope with my stress, which kept me in shape (more or less) and quit drinking completely (because I figured I had enough going on). It was 20 pounds in about 2 months.

Then after a couple months, when things started to normalize, I got a new haircut and weeded out my closet of the dumpy post-baby clothing that no longer fit me. Looked about 5 years younger and happier for the whole experience.

You're giving me hope!

I hope my ex pulls it together, too.

You have an unhealthy obsession with your ex.

(I am not the PP you quoted)