annoyed at brothers

[Anonymous]

I realize I just need to get over this, hence why I'm posting here and not calling either of them.

Both brothers and one of their wives came down this weekend; one brother for an event, the other just to see our parents, who live in DC. We spent brunch with my parents and brothers yesterday and it was nice. I wanted to see them again today, because they were staying all day (unusual for them, they usually turn around on Sunday mornings), but they kept changing plans - were going to the cherry blossoms, wait, they're not in bloom, so we're going to DuPont. Walt, changed mind: Georgetown. We were busy with our kids soccer classes, so it not like we were racing around town after them, but it felt like I was waiting to hear a plan... anyways, soccer ended and I text would they like to come hang out (texted my mother, since they were together), she replied, no, that all were tired, had late night's last night, etc. So I texted my younger brother, to ask him directly (sometimes my mom assumes things for other people, so just thought I should check in with them). Brother replies that he's feeling sick and wants to lie down before driving back. We got home, went to a park, carried on with our day, and mu mom texts "your brothers are here, u can come over. They're too tired to go out again." I replied, we'll I guess visiting their sister isn't a priority. And nothing else. I just feel like they could have made an effort. We live ten minutes from my parents, it's not hard to come over. I went over yesterday, I don't feel like going there again and trying to keep my kids entertained in a tOtally child un-friendly house. I wish they wanted to spend more time with my kids.

It was a last minute trip, as all off their trips are, so we never have a "plan." Sometimes these sorry visits are awesome, but this weekend want.

Blah. Glad I got it off my chest.
."

[Anonymous]

I am the youngest. I have three brothers. You would think since we are all middle-aged that we would be peers. Not so. I am still expected to tag-along after them. And my Mom and Dad still inform me of the brothers' plans and they expect me to accommodate. It's a very male dominated household. I have no real answer for you. It's just I can commiserate.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, I'm not really getting this. You were annoyed that they changed their mind this afternoon for plans that you had nothing to do with due to your kids' soccer game? It would have been nice of them to be more communicative and come to see you, but they said they weren't feeling well. You saw them for brunch - which would have been satisfactory to me knowing they had their other plans this weekend. If you wanted to see them more, you should have just gone over to your parents' house.

I guess I have lower expectations of my adult siblings when they're in town and have a lot of their time scheduled already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, I'm not really getting this. You were annoyed that they changed their mind this afternoon for plans that you had nothing to do with due to your kids' soccer game? It would have been nice of them to be more communicative and come to see you, but they said they weren't feeling well. You saw them for brunch - which would have been satisfactory to me knowing they had their other plans this weekend. If you wanted to see them more, you should have just gone over to your parents' house.

I guess I have lower expectations of my adult siblings when they're in town and have a lot of their time scheduled already.

There are two of us who feel that way.

[Anonymous]

OP here - to the PPs, im trying to say "I was annoyed that they kept telling my their plans to include me along, but when it came down to it, we would only meet up if it was at their convenience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - to the PPs, im trying to say "I was annoyed that they kept telling my their plans to include me along, but when it came down to it, we would only meet up if it was at their convenience.

Hmm, I would expect meeting up to be mostly at their convenience. They're not the ones who live here. You had things going on and they had things going on. I think you're reading too much into their behavior. Also, you should be communicating with them directly and not through your mom.

[Anonymous]

Men not making the effort.

Op, I understand what you are saying. And when they're married it's even worse. Sisters are hardly on their radar at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I realize I just need to get over this, hence why I'm posting here and not calling either of them.

Both brothers and one of their wives came down this weekend; one brother for an event, the other just to see our parents, who live in DC. We spent brunch with my parents and brothers yesterday and it was nice. I wanted to see them again today, because they were staying all day (unusual for them, they usually turn around on Sunday mornings), but they kept changing plans - were going to the cherry blossoms, wait, they're not in bloom, so we're going to DuPont. Walt, changed mind: Georgetown. We were busy with our kids soccer classes, so it not like we were racing around town after them, but it felt like I was waiting to hear a plan... anyways, soccer ended and I text would they like to come hang out (texted my mother, since they were together), she replied, no, that all were tired, had late night's last night, etc. So I texted my younger brother, to ask him directly (sometimes my mom assumes things for other people, so just thought I should check in with them). Brother replies that he's feeling sick and wants to lie down before driving back. We got home, went to a park, carried on with our day, and mu mom texts "your brothers are here, u can come over. They're too tired to go out again." I replied, we'll I guess visiting their sister isn't a priority. And nothing else. I just feel like they could have made an effort. We live ten minutes from my parents, it's not hard to come over. I went over yesterday, I don't feel like going there again and trying to keep my kids entertained in a tOtally child un-friendly house. I wish they wanted to spend more time with my kids.

It was a last minute trip, as all off their trips are, so we never have a "plan." Sometimes these sorry visits are awesome, but this weekend want.

Blah. Glad I got it off my chest. ."

Maybe you were looking for a little uncle entertainment for your kids. You can "hope" but it's not fair to place so much blame on them because they're not as into your kids as you hoped.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - to the PPs, im trying to say "I was annoyed that they kept telling my their plans to include me along, but when it came down to it, we would only meet up if it was at their convenience.

Hmm, I would expect meeting up to be mostly at their convenience. They're not the ones who live here. You had things going on and they had things going on. I think you're reading too much into their behavior. Also, you should be communicating with them directly and not through your mom.

Yeah, OP, I get your frustration but they already put the mileage in coming for a visit. You lvie 10 minutes from your parents but couldn't come over to see them there? Sure, they could have driven the 10 minutes, but they have a long drive home ahead of them (I assume, you don't say where they're from) Certainly their drive back home is longer than yours.

Try to see from their perspective. They were indecisive about their plans, but felt like they had to keep you in the loop, and when it came down to it, they didn't want to go out again. They wanted to rest, one brother actually felt sick, and decided to spend more time with some family, yet their sister couldn't be bothered to drive 10 minutes over to their parents' house. Honestly, one of them could be posting on DCUM about it.

Deep breaths, move on.

[Anonymous]

I take a different view, OP.

Your "I guess visiting their sister isn't a priority" comment was passive aggressive and rude.

Since they were just 10 minutes away, why didn't you just go to them? Saying it's because you were just there yesterday is really petty score-keeping. I get the "child unfriendly house" thing a bit more. But, for heaven's sake, you could have dealt.

So, I realize you want to point fingers, but a couple of them point back at you.

[Anonymous]

Also, if it was so important to you that your siblings spend time to your children, why did you let them play their soccer games? There will be other soccer matches -- but your family was only in town this weekend.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, you sound bratty, self-centered and unaccomodating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, you sound bratty, self-centered and unaccomodating.

And a classic Princess!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, you sound bratty, self-centered and unaccomodating.

Agreed! Just drive over to your moms and hang out for an hour.

Signed, An adult woman with 4 brothers and 4 sister in laws.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, I'm not really getting this. You were annoyed that they changed their mind this afternoon for plans that you had nothing to do with due to your kids' soccer game? It would have been nice of them to be more communicative and come to see you, but they said they weren't feeling well. You saw them for brunch - which would have been satisfactory to me knowing they had their other plans this weekend. If you wanted to see them more, you should have just gone over to your parents' house.

I guess I have lower expectations of my adult siblings when they're in town and have a lot of their time scheduled already.

I agree. Don't see why you expected them to go 10 min to see you when you couldn't be bothered to go 10 min to see them, either. And you already had plans, it sounds like.