annoyed at brothers

[Anonymous]

First World Problem.

Next.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the youngest. I have three brothers. You would think since we are all middle-aged that we would be peers. Not so. I am still expected to tag-along after them. And my Mom and Dad still inform me of the brothers' plans and they expect me to accommodate. It's a very male dominated household. I have no real answer for you. It's just I can commiserate.

I'm the youngest of all girls and same for me. But it got worse when my sisters got married (I am single) and one of the husbands grew up in a family where his mom worshipped him. So gender dynamics may come into play.

But op, maybe they just felt like staying at grandma's. Maybe it's more comfortable. Do you have pets they are allergic to or keep the tv blaring or let your kids run around screaming an playing video games?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I take a different view, OP.

Your "I guess visiting their sister isn't a priority" comment was passive aggressive and rude.

Since they were just 10 minutes away, why didn't you just go to them? Saying it's because you were just there yesterday is really petty score-keeping. I get the "child unfriendly house" thing a bit more. But, for heaven's sake, you could have dealt.

So, I realize you want to point fingers, but a couple of them point back at you.

I have to agree with this. Are you the only sister? Would your mom have shown your brothers this? Because now they're rolling their eyes and annoyed at you for being a drama queen or princess or whatever. That comment isn't going to get you anywhere. It'll probably hurt things in the future because they'll feel like you'll be too sensitive about everything.

It sucks that they made you feel unimportant or irrelevant. But maybe that wasn't their intent. When you see them next just say, "Come and hang out at our place for ______. The kids have a lot of fun showing off their toys or playing games at home. They really come out of their shells." or some such thing.

[Anonymous]

OP, they will not come to you. You have to make the effort, and you didn't. I expect they went home thinking, "Once again, sister can't be bothered to change her precious schedule one iota to spend time with her brothers."

Seriously, the soccer game could have been missed. You could have left the kids at home and gone to Mom's alone. Flex, OP. Or prepare to be disappointed again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I realize I just need to get over this, hence why I'm posting here and not calling either of them.

Both brothers and one of their wives came down this weekend; one brother for an event, the other just to see our parents, who live in DC. We spent brunch with my parents and brothers yesterday and it was nice. I wanted to see them again today, because they were staying all day (unusual for them, they usually turn around on Sunday mornings), but they kept changing plans - were going to the cherry blossoms, wait, they're not in bloom, so we're going to DuPont. Walt, changed mind: Georgetown. We were busy with our kids soccer classes, so it not like we were racing around town after them, but it felt like I was waiting to hear a plan... anyways, soccer ended and I text would they like to come hang out (texted my mother, since they were together), she replied, no, that all were tired, had late night's last night, etc. So I texted my younger brother, to ask him directly (sometimes my mom assumes things for other people, so just thought I should check in with them). Brother replies that he's feeling sick and wants to lie down before driving back. We got home, went to a park, carried on with our day, and mu mom texts "your brothers are here, u can come over. They're too tired to go out again." I replied, we'll I guess visiting their sister isn't a priority. And nothing else. I just feel like they could have made an effort. We live ten minutes from my parents, it's not hard to come over. I went over yesterday, I don't feel like going there again and trying to keep my kids entertained in a tOtally child un-friendly house. I wish they wanted to spend more time with my kids.

It was a last minute trip, as all off their trips are, so we never have a "plan." Sometimes these sorry visits are awesome, but this weekend want.

Blah. Glad I got it off my chest.
."

I would not sweat over this. They are probably more comfortable at your parents and want to be mothered by her before they get back on the road. If you were up to it, you could go over there, but if you were tired, just look at it as a chance to stay home and relax.

[Anonymous]

don't get this at all. you could have just as easily driven 10 mins to hang with them, and in fact, if they were all at your moms, this would have made MORE sense. you are being petty.

[Anonymous]

I don't get why you feel they should have come to your house rather than you going there