Wasting money on therapy

[Anonymous]

This is a provocative subject head and I do not mean to kick up a controversy.

I'm wondering how others deal with the the situation, emotionally, when you realize you've poured way too much money into a therapuetic approach that was essentially a complete waste.

Obviously, the answer is to end it and make a change. But what about the lingering effects -- the frustration, financial impact, etc from that choice?

Just looking for some thoughts.

[Anonymous]

While regret and frustration are really natural in this case (we've BTDT a LOT), it's also unproductive. So I try to learn from it - sometimes the takeaway is as simple as "now I know that's something my kid doesn't benefit from and can move on". Other times it can more that I learned that xyz therapy seems to just be a lot of hocus pocus - so I try to look back and see what warning signs I should have paid attention to. Should I have done more research before we jumped in? etc.

But in the end, aside from lessons learned, it's a sunk cost, time-wise and money-wise, so no use thinking about it too much.

[Anonymous]

Life would be a lot easier if we could all look ahead in time and see the consequences of every decision we make. But we can't.

Give yourself a break by reminding yourself that you made the best decision you could based on what you knew at the time. That's all you can do.

Two final points:
1) If you learned something even from a mistaken decision, it was not a complete waste.
2) There also exists the chance that it wasn't a complete waste therapeutically, and that there might have been some benefits that aren't so readily visible right now.

[Anonymous]

Forget it and move on. At least you know you tried.

[Anonymous]

Please share what led you to do it so long without any results. Help others learn something here.

[Anonymous]

Thank you pps. I'm upset with myself because we really don't have money to be wasting.

[Anonymous]

Let it goooooooooooooooo

[Anonymous]

Easy to say, but the financial impact of a bad decision like this lingers...

[Anonymous]

It's frustrating and makes me indignant which is why I am more vigilant now. Sometimes good therapists push bad products because it is the policy of the place where they visit. Sure these various things may help some, but considering the lack of decent research, I no longer am willing to pay to please the interventionist. I make it clear we aren't rich and we don't want a constant sell.

Sometimes good interventionists rest on their laurels. I'm not referring to normal period od plateau where kids aren't improving, but I'm talking about the therapist who starts later and later, but ends on time. Within 30 minutes of the 50 minute hour therapist is writing the progress notes. Then she takes a phone call. She leaves your kid bouncing his tush on one of those bouncy things while she chats with a colleague who comes in. I'm paying for the 50 minutes. If you need to jot down notes as you go that is fine, but I am paying for you to work with my kid, not take phone calls. If you are going to start late, then end late.

[Anonymous]

Accept the things you cannot change . . .

[Anonymous]

Learn from your mistakes in the hopes of preventing future money burns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's frustrating and makes me indignant which is why I am more vigilant now. Sometimes good therapists push bad products because it is the policy of the place where they visit. Sure these various things may help some, but considering the lack of decent research, I no longer am willing to pay to please the interventionist. I make it clear we aren't rich and we don't want a constant sell.

Sometimes good interventionists rest on their laurels. I'm not referring to normal period od plateau where kids aren't improving, but I'm talking about the therapist who starts later and later, but ends on time. Within 30 minutes of the 50 minute hour therapist is writing the progress notes. Then she takes a phone call. She leaves your kid bouncing his tush on one of those bouncy things while she chats with a colleague who comes in. I'm paying for the 50 minutes. If you need to jot down notes as you go that is fine, but I am paying for you to work with my kid, not take phone calls. If you are going to start late, then end late.

Why are you putting up with this? Stop doing a slow burn and find someone else who acts professionally.

[Anonymous]

<<Accept the things you cannot change . . .>>


<<Learn from your mistakes in the hopes of preventing future money burns.>>


Both of these are very good advice, and the first one probably helps me make peace with the situation -- the most important thing is that we are moving on, not in it, and I can't let what already happened eat away at me.

The second one is also important, though in our case, it was a unique situation and some extenuating circumstances that kept us in the situation longer than we should have been. So its not a simple case of it being entirely my mistake -- though I do know that ultimately, the buck stops with me.

[Anonymous]

This has happened to me too and yes, it makes us angry and frustrated. Like a PP, I take more notes, I press now for therapists to provide good, detailed reports and I have a cut off time - 6 weeks if I don't see any improvement at all.

[Anonymous]

I look back and forgive my parents for all their mistakes.

We are parents, we do our best and sometimes our best has negative impacts.

Then I drink some wine... box wine.