Class fund non-participants: where do you think the party food comes from??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was often the room parent when my kids were in lower grades and I used to send out emails at the beginning of the year detailing what activities, parties, food, teacher's gift we would have for the entire year. I met with the teacher to draw out the plans (usually duplicating what was done in the previous years), and send an email and a signup genius link to all parents. An email was sent every week for the first 6 weeks, listing the names of all the people who had contributed. Within the first couple of weeks, all parents used to sent in their fixed $ contribution. We usually had a set number of celebrations, some activities and holiday teacher's gift. We relied on some parents to make a costco run for the parties.

I did not want to run after people to get money from them, so I made sure that all the funds were collected during the first few weeks of school. I sent emails every week for the first few weeks listing the names of people who contributed and those who still had to. It was easy to write the reminder emails at the beginning of the year.

OP, being a room parent is a responsibility not a popularity contest. You need to be blunt and make sure that everyone contributes at least a minimum agreed upon amount. If people want to contribute more it is up to them, but the fixed amount contribution is mandatory.

Wow, this is really shitting. You called out the people who didn't contribute? You're pretty rude to even gripe about it behind their backs, but you are an awful person for shaming them in a group email.

- a room mom

Agreed. It is terrible to keep track and call out people like that.
Our teacher gave us room parents a form letter for the class donation which we adapted. In it she asked us to keep track of amounts but not who donated. I think that was best.

+1!

If a room parent in my DC’s class sent out a class wide email naming families who didn’t give money, I would think very poorly of that room parent, not of the parents who didn’t (for whatever reason) contribute!

That is really inappropriate to keep track of who gives and who does not. I would never agree to that (nor do I even keep track). Either we get the money or sign ups and if we don't I pay.

I can’t believe you did this. So rude. I would think horrible of you as well- not the families who didn’t contribute

Its horrible I pay for the parties if we don't get enough donations or I don't feel like bothering to ask for donations because of how people are? Yes, what a terrible person I am.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was often the room parent when my kids were in lower grades and I used to send out emails at the beginning of the year detailing what activities, parties, food, teacher's gift we would have for the entire year. I met with the teacher to draw out the plans (usually duplicating what was done in the previous years), and send an email and a signup genius link to all parents. An email was sent every week for the first 6 weeks, listing the names of all the people who had contributed. Within the first couple of weeks, all parents used to sent in their fixed $ contribution. We usually had a set number of celebrations, some activities and holiday teacher's gift. We relied on some parents to make a costco run for the parties.

I did not want to run after people to get money from them, so I made sure that all the funds were collected during the first few weeks of school. I sent emails every week for the first few weeks listing the names of people who contributed and those who still had to. It was easy to write the reminder emails at the beginning of the year.

OP, being a room parent is a responsibility not a popularity contest. You need to be blunt and make sure that everyone contributes at least a minimum agreed upon amount. If people want to contribute more it is up to them, but the fixed amount contribution is mandatory.

Wow, this is really shitting. You called out the people who didn't contribute? You're pretty rude to even gripe about it behind their backs, but you are an awful person for shaming them in a group email.

- a room mom

Agreed. It is terrible to keep track and call out people like that.
Our teacher gave us room parents a form letter for the class donation which we adapted. In it she asked us to keep track of amounts but not who donated. I think that was best.

+1!

If a room parent in my DC’s class sent out a class wide email naming families who didn’t give money, I would think very poorly of that room parent, not of the parents who didn’t (for whatever reason) contribute!

That is really inappropriate to keep track of who gives and who does not. I would never agree to that (nor do I even keep track). Either we get the money or sign ups and if we don't I pay.

I can’t believe you did this. So rude. I would think horrible of you as well- not the families who didn’t contribute

And that's how PTA funds end up getting "lost." Be organized people. You don't need to name and shame, but it's basic administration 101 to keep track of where money is coming from and how you spend it.

PTA funds and room parent funds are two different things. Yes, you should keep track of how the money is spent but not who contributes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should have divided what you were given accordingly. Not spent all of it early on in the year. I give every year out of pressure but I don’t think my kids needs these fancy parties. One bag of m&ms a simple craft - maybe some music or game and call it a day.

They aren't fancy. Not all parents want their kids having candy. Its ironic people are screaming healthy and pizza is not healthy and yet, M&M's are ok. If you want to run the parties and be that stingy, then you be the room parent. Our school expects centers - 5 or so. I hate it, but I hate no choice. I prefer one big activity as its cheaper and easier for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do kids need pizza at their parties? LOL..

Pretzels, popcorn, and some carrot sticks. $5. You're welcome!

You are getting ripped off if all you are getting is pretzels, popcorn and carrots for $5. For $5, I can do fruit, pizza, desert and pretzels or other snacks per child. They don't need it, they don't need parties but it just makes it more fun for them. Learn to spend money on a budget. You can do a lot with a little money. Or have parents donate the food. Usually there are 1-2 happy to purchase the more expensive things.

I meant total

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do kids need pizza at their parties? LOL..

Pretzels, popcorn, and some carrot sticks. $5. You're welcome!

You are getting ripped off if all you are getting is pretzels, popcorn and carrots for $5. For $5, I can do fruit, pizza, desert and pretzels or other snacks per child. They don't need it, they don't need parties but it just makes it more fun for them. Learn to spend money on a budget. You can do a lot with a little money. Or have parents donate the food. Usually there are 1-2 happy to purchase the more expensive things.

I meant total

If you bring in an air popper, I can see that being close, 2 bags pretzels $1 × 2, carrots $1.50, popcorn $1.50 = $5 yep, checks out. Aerved on a paper towel and water from the fountain. For $ 1 -2 more you can have dip for the carrots.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was often the room parent when my kids were in lower grades and I used to send out emails at the beginning of the year detailing what activities, parties, food, teacher's gift we would have for the entire year. I met with the teacher to draw out the plans (usually duplicating what was done in the previous years), and send an email and a signup genius link to all parents. An email was sent every week for the first 6 weeks, listing the names of all the people who had contributed. Within the first couple of weeks, all parents used to sent in their fixed $ contribution. We usually had a set number of celebrations, some activities and holiday teacher's gift. We relied on some parents to make a costco run for the parties.

I did not want to run after people to get money from them, so I made sure that all the funds were collected during the first few weeks of school. I sent emails every week for the first few weeks listing the names of people who contributed and those who still had to. It was easy to write the reminder emails at the beginning of the year.

OP, being a room parent is a responsibility not a popularity contest. You need to be blunt and make sure that everyone contributes at least a minimum agreed upon amount. If people want to contribute more it is up to them, but the fixed amount contribution is mandatory.

Wow, this is really shitting. You called out the people who didn't contribute? You're pretty rude to even gripe about it behind their backs, but you are an awful person for shaming them in a group email.

- a room mom

Agreed. It is terrible to keep track and call out people like that.
Our teacher gave us room parents a form letter for the class donation which we adapted. In it she asked us to keep track of amounts but not who donated. I think that was best.

+1!

If a room parent in my DC’s class sent out a class wide email naming families who didn’t give money, I would think very poorly of that room parent, not of the parents who didn’t (for whatever reason) contribute!

That is really inappropriate to keep track of who gives and who does not. I would never agree to that (nor do I even keep track). Either we get the money or sign ups and if we don't I pay.

I can’t believe you did this. So rude. I would think horrible of you as well- not the families who didn’t contribute

Its horrible I pay for the parties if we don't get enough donations or I don't feel like bothering to ask for donations because of how people are? Yes, what a terrible person I am.

Yes, you are a horrible person to shame parents who haven't paid the amount that you deem appropriate. If you want to pay for the parties yourself, you should be gracious about it and not act a martyr. If you don't want to pay for the parties (which is perfectly fine), pay for the party that you can afford with the donations you received.

You don't get to shame people for donating enough for you to create the party that you want simply because you want it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids ES asks for a voluntary donation of $25 at the start of each year. It goes into a class treasury (by which I mean a grade level account, usable by all of the classes in that grade, and overseen by a grade level treasurer who is not a room parent). It's made very clear what the money is for - staff and teacher appreciation week events planned by the PTA, crafts for 2-3 class parties/year, and grade-wide activities like Colonial Day, etc. all of which is budgeted for based on how much is in the account. Also directly stated is what the money *doesn't* cover, including food for parties and holiday/end of year teacher gifts. For parties, room parents create a Sign Up Genius and solicit donations such as chips, veggies, water bottles, cookies, and basic paper goods. Any money left at the end of the year carries over with the class, which really helps given that 6th grade expenses are a bit higher with the addition of class t-shirts and the year end farewell ceremony and party. I've had a kid at this school for the past decade and have never 1) seen pizza, or any full meal for that matter, at a class party or 2) been asked to donate more because the account was misspent and couldn't cover costs mid-year.

My kids went to that school: home of the Pinterest over involved mom. You thought you were done after the initial $25. But no. Each holiday birthday teacher day secretary day after school event etc etc brought a new sign up genius (which is public BTW) and all managed by the same group of moms. Finally I just said no more. The students were getting a bit blasé about the non stop parties and events also.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was often the room parent when my kids were in lower grades and I used to send out emails at the beginning of the year detailing what activities, parties, food, teacher's gift we would have for the entire year. I met with the teacher to draw out the plans (usually duplicating what was done in the previous years), and send an email and a signup genius link to all parents. An email was sent every week for the first 6 weeks, listing the names of all the people who had contributed. Within the first couple of weeks, all parents used to sent in their fixed $ contribution. We usually had a set number of celebrations, some activities and holiday teacher's gift. We relied on some parents to make a costco run for the parties.

I did not want to run after people to get money from them, so I made sure that all the funds were collected during the first few weeks of school. I sent emails every week for the first few weeks listing the names of people who contributed and those who still had to. It was easy to write the reminder emails at the beginning of the year.

OP, being a room parent is a responsibility not a popularity contest. You need to be blunt and make sure that everyone contributes at least a minimum agreed upon amount. If people want to contribute more it is up to them, but the fixed amount contribution is mandatory.

Wow, this is really shitting. You called out the people who didn't contribute? You're pretty rude to even gripe about it behind their backs, but you are an awful person for shaming them in a group email.

- a room mom

Agreed. It is terrible to keep track and call out people like that.
Our teacher gave us room parents a form letter for the class donation which we adapted. In it she asked us to keep track of amounts but not who donated. I think that was best.

+1!

If a room parent in my DC’s class sent out a class wide email naming families who didn’t give money, I would think very poorly of that room parent, not of the parents who didn’t (for whatever reason) contribute!

That is really inappropriate to keep track of who gives and who does not. I would never agree to that (nor do I even keep track). Either we get the money or sign ups and if we don't I pay.

I can’t believe you did this. So rude. I would think horrible of you as well- not the families who didn’t contribute

Its horrible I pay for the parties if we don't get enough donations or I don't feel like bothering to ask for donations because of how people are? Yes, what a terrible person I am.

Yes, you are a horrible person to shame parents who haven't paid the amount that you deem appropriate. If you want to pay for the parties yourself, you should be gracious about it and not act a martyr. If you don't want to pay for the parties (which is perfectly fine), pay for the party that you can afford with the donations you received.

You don't get to shame people for donating enough for you to create the party that you want simply because you want it.

Exactly!

You are the one who really deserves to be shamed. Luckily for you most of the non super party planners don’t have all the extra time you seem to have & won’t be able to do it. Or maybe they chose not to shame you because, unlike you, they are actually nice people, not just people who are desperate to appear better than others.

[Anonymous]

Dear Diary,

Mrs. Zoomy didn't donate $10 to the pizza party! Does she not care if the kids get toppings?! How can people be so selfish?? I am the only one who cares! Now it's time to go knit a blanket for the teacher gift - WITH YARN I BOUGHT MYSELF :-O

Love,

Bonkers McBonkers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was often the room parent when my kids were in lower grades and I used to send out emails at the beginning of the year detailing what activities, parties, food, teacher's gift we would have for the entire year. I met with the teacher to draw out the plans (usually duplicating what was done in the previous years), and send an email and a signup genius link to all parents. An email was sent every week for the first 6 weeks, listing the names of all the people who had contributed. Within the first couple of weeks, all parents used to sent in their fixed $ contribution. We usually had a set number of celebrations, some activities and holiday teacher's gift. We relied on some parents to make a costco run for the parties.

I did not want to run after people to get money from them, so I made sure that all the funds were collected during the first few weeks of school. I sent emails every week for the first few weeks listing the names of people who contributed and those who still had to. It was easy to write the reminder emails at the beginning of the year.

OP, being a room parent is a responsibility not a popularity contest. You need to be blunt and make sure that everyone contributes at least a minimum agreed upon amount. If people want to contribute more it is up to them, but the fixed amount contribution is mandatory.

Wow, this is really shitting. You called out the people who didn't contribute? You're pretty rude to even gripe about it behind their backs, but you are an awful person for shaming them in a group email.

- a room mom

Agreed. It is terrible to keep track and call out people like that.
Our teacher gave us room parents a form letter for the class donation which we adapted. In it she asked us to keep track of amounts but not who donated. I think that was best.

+1!

If a room parent in my DC’s class sent out a class wide email naming families who didn’t give money, I would think very poorly of that room parent, not of the parents who didn’t (for whatever reason) contribute!

That is really inappropriate to keep track of who gives and who does not. I would never agree to that (nor do I even keep track). Either we get the money or sign ups and if we don't I pay.

I can’t believe you did this. So rude. I would think horrible of you as well- not the families who didn’t contribute

Its horrible I pay for the parties if we don't get enough donations or I don't feel like bothering to ask for donations because of how people are? Yes, what a terrible person I am.

Yes, you are a horrible person to shame parents who haven't paid the amount that you deem appropriate. If you want to pay for the parties yourself, you should be gracious about it and not act a martyr. If you don't want to pay for the parties (which is perfectly fine), pay for the party that you can afford with the donations you received.
You don't get to shame people for donating enough for you to create the party that you want simply because you want it.

You cannot shame the shameless. The fear of being named makes everyone tow the line. parties are decided by the teacher and are usually a culmination of units they are being taught. I only decide modest gift cards for 3 teachers. Art, music and home room teacher. Total yearly cost for each child is $40. I get it all within first 2 weeks of school starting. And we are not doing over the top parties, but very low cost treats.

I absolutely get to shame the parents if they don’t contribute. That is how the cookie crumbles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was often the room parent when my kids were in lower grades and I used to send out emails at the beginning of the year detailing what activities, parties, food, teacher's gift we would have for the entire year. I met with the teacher to draw out the plans (usually duplicating what was done in the previous years), and send an email and a signup genius link to all parents. An email was sent every week for the first 6 weeks, listing the names of all the people who had contributed. Within the first couple of weeks, all parents used to sent in their fixed $ contribution. We usually had a set number of celebrations, some activities and holiday teacher's gift. We relied on some parents to make a costco run for the parties.

I did not want to run after people to get money from them, so I made sure that all the funds were collected during the first few weeks of school. I sent emails every week for the first few weeks listing the names of people who contributed and those who still had to. It was easy to write the reminder emails at the beginning of the year.

OP, being a room parent is a responsibility not a popularity contest. You need to be blunt and make sure that everyone contributes at least a minimum agreed upon amount. If people want to contribute more it is up to them, but the fixed amount contribution is mandatory.

Wow, this is really shitting. You called out the people who didn't contribute? You're pretty rude to even gripe about it behind their backs, but you are an awful person for shaming them in a group email.

- a room mom

Agreed. It is terrible to keep track and call out people like that.
Our teacher gave us room parents a form letter for the class donation which we adapted. In it she asked us to keep track of amounts but not who donated. I think that was best.

+1!

If a room parent in my DC’s class sent out a class wide email naming families who didn’t give money, I would think very poorly of that room parent, not of the parents who didn’t (for whatever reason) contribute!

That is really inappropriate to keep track of who gives and who does not. I would never agree to that (nor do I even keep track). Either we get the money or sign ups and if we don't I pay.

I can’t believe you did this. So rude. I would think horrible of you as well- not the families who didn’t contribute

Its horrible I pay for the parties if we don't get enough donations or I don't feel like bothering to ask for donations because of how people are? Yes, what a terrible person I am.

Yes, you are a horrible person to shame parents who haven't paid the amount that you deem appropriate. If you want to pay for the parties yourself, you should be gracious about it and not act a martyr. If you don't want to pay for the parties (which is perfectly fine), pay for the party that you can afford with the donations you received.
You don't get to shame people for donating enough for you to create the party that you want simply because you want it.

You cannot shame the shameless. The fear of being named makes everyone tow the line. parties are decided by the teacher and are usually a culmination of units they are being taught. I only decide modest gift cards for 3 teachers. Art, music and home room teacher. Total yearly cost for each child is $40. I get it all within first 2 weeks of school starting. And we are not doing over the top parties, but very low cost treats.

I absolutely get to shame the parents if they don’t contribute. That is how the cookie crumbles.

Maybe the parents think you're going to misuse the funds?

[Anonymous]

Ha ha. The freeloaders are so upset. Don’t worry, the parents in my room, don’t give me a chance to complain. The donations are in within a week of sending the request. We do send the reminders daily though.

I think it is very effective. The more submissive room parents get stressed and bullied by freeloaders. There is a reason why the burnout is so high. My methods are effective enough that I don’t have to run for donations and a large number of parents get to volunteer and contribute extras to the events. I am a leader who leads through using both the carrot and the stick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was often the room parent when my kids were in lower grades and I used to send out emails at the beginning of the year detailing what activities, parties, food, teacher's gift we would have for the entire year. I met with the teacher to draw out the plans (usually duplicating what was done in the previous years), and send an email and a signup genius link to all parents. An email was sent every week for the first 6 weeks, listing the names of all the people who had contributed. Within the first couple of weeks, all parents used to sent in their fixed $ contribution. We usually had a set number of celebrations, some activities and holiday teacher's gift. We relied on some parents to make a costco run for the parties.

I did not want to run after people to get money from them, so I made sure that all the funds were collected during the first few weeks of school. I sent emails every week for the first few weeks listing the names of people who contributed and those who still had to. It was easy to write the reminder emails at the beginning of the year.

OP, being a room parent is a responsibility not a popularity contest. You need to be blunt and make sure that everyone contributes at least a minimum agreed upon amount. If people want to contribute more it is up to them, but the fixed amount contribution is mandatory.

Wow, this is really shitting. You called out the people who didn't contribute? You're pretty rude to even gripe about it behind their backs, but you are an awful person for shaming them in a group email.

- a room mom

Agreed. It is terrible to keep track and call out people like that.
Our teacher gave us room parents a form letter for the class donation which we adapted. In it she asked us to keep track of amounts but not who donated. I think that was best.

+1!

If a room parent in my DC’s class sent out a class wide email naming families who didn’t give money, I would think very poorly of that room parent, not of the parents who didn’t (for whatever reason) contribute!

That is really inappropriate to keep track of who gives and who does not. I would never agree to that (nor do I even keep track). Either we get the money or sign ups and if we don't I pay.

I can’t believe you did this. So rude. I would think horrible of you as well- not the families who didn’t contribute

Its horrible I pay for the parties if we don't get enough donations or I don't feel like bothering to ask for donations because of how people are? Yes, what a terrible person I am.

Yes, you are a horrible person to shame parents who haven't paid the amount that you deem appropriate. If you want to pay for the parties yourself, you should be gracious about it and not act a martyr. If you don't want to pay for the parties (which is perfectly fine), pay for the party that you can afford with the donations you received.
You don't get to shame people for donating enough for you to create the party that you want simply because you want it.

You cannot shame the shameless. The fear of being named makes everyone tow the line. parties are decided by the teacher and are usually a culmination of units they are being taught. I only decide modest gift cards for 3 teachers. Art, music and home room teacher. Total yearly cost for each child is $40. I get it all within first 2 weeks of school starting. And we are not doing over the top parties, but very low cost treats.

I absolutely get to shame the parents if they don’t contribute. That is how the cookie crumbles.

So which is it: you can't shame the shameless or shaming people keeps in line and gets them to contribute?

Either way, if you aren't a troll, you should be permanently banned from having any role with a classroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was often the room parent when my kids were in lower grades and I used to send out emails at the beginning of the year detailing what activities, parties, food, teacher's gift we would have for the entire year. I met with the teacher to draw out the plans (usually duplicating what was done in the previous years), and send an email and a signup genius link to all parents. An email was sent every week for the first 6 weeks, listing the names of all the people who had contributed. Within the first couple of weeks, all parents used to sent in their fixed $ contribution. We usually had a set number of celebrations, some activities and holiday teacher's gift. We relied on some parents to make a costco run for the parties.

I did not want to run after people to get money from them, so I made sure that all the funds were collected during the first few weeks of school. I sent emails every week for the first few weeks listing the names of people who contributed and those who still had to. It was easy to write the reminder emails at the beginning of the year.

OP, being a room parent is a responsibility not a popularity contest. You need to be blunt and make sure that everyone contributes at least a minimum agreed upon amount. If people want to contribute more it is up to them, but the fixed amount contribution is mandatory.

Wow, this is really shitting. You called out the people who didn't contribute? You're pretty rude to even gripe about it behind their backs, but you are an awful person for shaming them in a group email.

- a room mom

Agreed. It is terrible to keep track and call out people like that.
Our teacher gave us room parents a form letter for the class donation which we adapted. In it she asked us to keep track of amounts but not who donated. I think that was best.

+1!

If a room parent in my DC’s class sent out a class wide email naming families who didn’t give money, I would think very poorly of that room parent, not of the parents who didn’t (for whatever reason) contribute!

That is really inappropriate to keep track of who gives and who does not. I would never agree to that (nor do I even keep track). Either we get the money or sign ups and if we don't I pay.

I can’t believe you did this. So rude. I would think horrible of you as well- not the families who didn’t contribute

Its horrible I pay for the parties if we don't get enough donations or I don't feel like bothering to ask for donations because of how people are? Yes, what a terrible person I am.

Yes, you are a horrible person to shame parents who haven't paid the amount that you deem appropriate. If you want to pay for the parties yourself, you should be gracious about it and not act a martyr. If you don't want to pay for the parties (which is perfectly fine), pay for the party that you can afford with the donations you received.
You don't get to shame people for donating enough for you to create the party that you want simply because you want it.

You cannot shame the shameless. The fear of being named makes everyone tow the line. parties are decided by the teacher and are usually a culmination of units they are being taught. I only decide modest gift cards for 3 teachers. Art, music and home room teacher. Total yearly cost for each child is $40. I get it all within first 2 weeks of school starting. And we are not doing over the top parties, but very low cost treats.

I absolutely get to shame the parents if they don’t contribute. That is how the cookie crumbles.

Maybe the parents think you're going to misuse the funds?

Hmmmm, I wonder how that would be since other parent volunteers buy the stuff and submit the receipt for reimbursement. All accounting, budget and party details are on a shared google drive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was often the room parent when my kids were in lower grades and I used to send out emails at the beginning of the year detailing what activities, parties, food, teacher's gift we would have for the entire year. I met with the teacher to draw out the plans (usually duplicating what was done in the previous years), and send an email and a signup genius link to all parents. An email was sent every week for the first 6 weeks, listing the names of all the people who had contributed. Within the first couple of weeks, all parents used to sent in their fixed $ contribution. We usually had a set number of celebrations, some activities and holiday teacher's gift. We relied on some parents to make a costco run for the parties.

I did not want to run after people to get money from them, so I made sure that all the funds were collected during the first few weeks of school. I sent emails every week for the first few weeks listing the names of people who contributed and those who still had to. It was easy to write the reminder emails at the beginning of the year.

OP, being a room parent is a responsibility not a popularity contest. You need to be blunt and make sure that everyone contributes at least a minimum agreed upon amount. If people want to contribute more it is up to them, but the fixed amount contribution is mandatory.

Wow, this is really shitting. You called out the people who didn't contribute? You're pretty rude to even gripe about it behind their backs, but you are an awful person for shaming them in a group email.

- a room mom

Agreed. It is terrible to keep track and call out people like that.
Our teacher gave us room parents a form letter for the class donation which we adapted. In it she asked us to keep track of amounts but not who donated. I think that was best.

+1!

If a room parent in my DC’s class sent out a class wide email naming families who didn’t give money, I would think very poorly of that room parent, not of the parents who didn’t (for whatever reason) contribute!

That is really inappropriate to keep track of who gives and who does not. I would never agree to that (nor do I even keep track). Either we get the money or sign ups and if we don't I pay.

I can’t believe you did this. So rude. I would think horrible of you as well- not the families who didn’t contribute

Its horrible I pay for the parties if we don't get enough donations or I don't feel like bothering to ask for donations because of how people are? Yes, what a terrible person I am.

Yes, you are a horrible person to shame parents who haven't paid the amount that you deem appropriate. If you want to pay for the parties yourself, you should be gracious about it and not act a martyr. If you don't want to pay for the parties (which is perfectly fine), pay for the party that you can afford with the donations you received.
You don't get to shame people for donating enough for you to create the party that you want simply because you want it.

You cannot shame the shameless. The fear of being named makes everyone tow the line. parties are decided by the teacher and are usually a culmination of units they are being taught. I only decide modest gift cards for 3 teachers. Art, music and home room teacher. Total yearly cost for each child is $40. I get it all within first 2 weeks of school starting. And we are not doing over the top parties, but very low cost treats.

I absolutely get to shame the parents if they don’t contribute. That is how the cookie crumbles.

So which is it: you can't shame the shameless or shaming people keeps in line and gets them to contribute?

Either way, if you aren't a troll, you should be permanently banned from having any role with a classroom.

Lucky to have parents who would rather contribute than be named, so obviously they are not shameless. But if a really shameless person decided not to contribute, there would be nothing anyone could do because it is a donation not a fee.