I'm failing as a parent

[Anonymous]

I love my child but her undiagnosed special needs are very difficult to deal with and my patience is growing thinner by the day. In addition, the daily whining, begging and crying are just too much and I snap at her or compare her aloud to other kids. I know I need to do better by her but as a single mom with limited funds I am not able to have regular therapy/counseling/babysitting/after school activites. Are there any support groups in DC or Silver Spring that are inexpensive or free where I can get some support or parenting help? I lose my patience with her speech and behaviors and find myself dreaming of sending her off to boarding school or sleep away camp for the entire summer. If you don't have a child with SN please don't judge and criticize me as you have no idea how difficult this life can be. I'm posting to see if anyone who has felt as I do can steer me in the direction of some help. I think individual therapy for me is also in order but co-pays plus babysitting fees may make it out of reach. I have no family in the area and I'm not sure where to turn. Thanks for your help.

[Anonymous]

I have beenwhere you are. I found that what helped me the most, was someone babysitting. Psychotherapy is much more expensive, and less helpful in your case.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry, OP. Are your daughter's chalenges mostly behavioral?

[Anonymous]

Jill's House provides respite for children with intellectual disabilities and their families in the Greater Washington, DC area. We serve boys and girls, ages six through seventeen, with intellectual disabilities without regard to race, religion, or ethnicity.

Our mission is to be a safe haven to which parents can entrust their children, allowing the parents a time of rest. To ensure that parents and caregivers get a real break, typical siblings are welcome to stay at Jill’s House.

We believe that parents of children with intellectual disabilities need more support. Our hope is that our model will help change the way communities address the needs of families with children with special needs.

Martina McBride to Headline A Celebration of Special Children!

http://jillshouse.org/

[Anonymous]

OP, we have a child in a self-contained ED class--I have walked miles in your shoes. I 100% agree with pp about babysitting. For us getting out of the house and away from the problems is cheaper and more effective than anything else. The grind is endless--you deserve a break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, OP. Are your daughter's chalenges mostly behavioral?

Thanks. No, she's just very immature, has some delays and knows how to push my buttons. She's not (yet) dispaying extremely challenging behaviors for which I'm grateful but the behaviors that I am dealing with happen regularly throughout the day and wear me down. Admittedly I am not very patient and don't have good strategies for how to deal with her and therefore find myself not enjoying our time together. It makes me sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jill's House provides respite for children with intellectual disabilities and their families in the Greater Washington, DC area. We serve boys and girls, ages six through seventeen, with intellectual disabilities without regard to race, religion, or ethnicity.

Our mission is to be a safe haven to which parents can entrust their children, allowing the parents a time of rest. To ensure that parents and caregivers get a real break, typical siblings are welcome to stay at Jill’s House.

We believe that parents of children with intellectual disabilities need more support. Our hope is that our model will help change the way communities address the needs of families with children with special needs.

Martina McBride to Headline A Celebration of Special Children!

http://jillshouse.org/

Thank you for this. I will look into it.

[Anonymous]

OP, have you looked at PEP classes? They might help both of you a lot.

[Anonymous]

Go to Dr. shapiro's Raising your challenging child class if you can. If not, look through the materials.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, we have a child in a self-contained ED class--I have walked miles in your shoes. I 100% agree with pp about babysitting. For us getting out of the house and away from the problems is cheaper and more effective than anything else. The grind is endless--you deserve a break.

Thanks for the two PP who suggested this. I will look for an additional sitter. I just hired one for friday nights but I think more mid-week and/or weekend breaks are needed

[Anonymous]

And makes you normal. Try to find a family member or a friend that can give you a few hours to recharge. Or another person with a SN child that you can swap with. You watch her child for an hour and then a week later, switch.

[Anonymous]

Thank you all for these suggestions. I am very grateful.

[Anonymous]

We wish you the best, OP. Parenting is such hard work.

[Anonymous]

OP,

If she's school aged, you can request testing through the schools as well as support services. If she's 3 or younger, call early intervention for an evaluation/services. Also, you might want to look into participating in a clinical trial at NIH. They will often assess your kid free of charge as part of the trial.

[Anonymous]

Taking an SSRI greatly improved my ability to cope with my kid's SN.

It makes me calmer and more patient. It's good for me and good for the kid.