Foster to adopt in MD and DC--What do I need to know

[Anonymous]

Single mom to a preschool-aged bio daughter looking to foster and eventually adopt an infant African American/biracial boy. I have experience with micro-preemies and the struggles that come with years of therapy and doctors appointments. I also have multiple adopted family members, though most are twenty years old amd much older and from another part of the country. How long are the waits in the foster to adopt program? What can I do to make myself more marketable to social services. I am not willing to take a child with severe disabilities but I am open to a preemie again with the "normal" list of preemie issues.

[Anonymous]

You are never going to know if a newborn has disabilities till they got older. It is very hard to get an infant and you could be waiting for years. If a family is in the child welfare system, most have mental health or substance abuse issues.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Some children display disabilities in infancy. I am willing to accept some forms of substance abuse. Mental illness is off the table since my sibling is mentally ill and nephew is severely autistic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Some children display disabilities in infancy. I am willing to accept some forms of substance abuse. Mental illness is off the table since my sibling is mentally ill and nephew is severely autistic.

How could you possibly know whether a premature newborn has mental illness?

Infants in foster care generally have reunification for their plan. Are you willing to parent kids who will be returning to their bio families, or only placements where adoption is the most likely outcome?

[Anonymous]

OP here, BTW, I am not looking for the scared straight speech but honest experience-based information on the Maryland and DC systems.

[Anonymous]

Are you one of the people who already asked this? You sound like it. Fostering is not about filling a hole in your family.

[Anonymous]

There isn't a foster to adopt "program", per se. It is possible to adopt from foster care, which is what I'm doing right now in MD. However, Social Services in MoCo speak a different language. The first goal is reunification. Foster parents are expected to be foster parents. Only if reunification is not possible might you then have the opportunity to adopt the child. My suggestion is that you attend one of the informational sessions that your jurisdiction's social services most likely offers prospective foster parents. They will be happy to answer your questions honestly and to tell you the circumstances under which you might be able to adopt from foster care.

[Anonymous]

To foster in DC, you must be a resident of DC.

Biracial is not very likely to happen but AA is. Make sure you are really open to that.

If you will need daycare, make sure to ask about subsidies for that.

If you take an infant home from the hospital, they are counting on you to use FMLA to stay home for several weeks.

[Anonymous]

No, first time here.

[Anonymous]

PP, thanks. I have three months of paid leave but would only take 6 weeks and save the rest for appointments. I am AA and dc is multi-racial, so I am totally cool with adopting someone who looks like me. The daycare part scares me a bit since quality care is hard to get in DC. My job sponsers a center, so once I get certified, I might talk to the director. My dc is at another Federal center so I would get sibling preference there. How much is the daycare subsidy? My center is about 1400 a month. I want to save as much as I can because I will supplement the therapy from infants and toddlers with a private therapist too. I have to check to see if my insurance covers foster kids, I have a great holistic pediatrician and I want to use her again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To foster in DC, you must be a resident of DC.

Biracial is not very likely to happen but AA is. Make sure you are really open to that.

If you will need daycare, make sure to ask about subsidies for that.

If you take an infant home from the hospital, they are counting on you to use FMLA to stay home for several weeks.

This is not true. There are a number of agencies that will place children outside of DC. Lutheran Social Services is one, although they are unlikely to take a foster parent who has very narrow requirements.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Some children display disabilities in infancy. I am willing to accept some forms of substance abuse. Mental illness is off the table since my sibling is mentally ill and nephew is severely autistic.

Most of the parents or relatives have mental illness and most of that is genetic. There is a reason why these kids come into care and it is not so you can adopt them. Substance abuse can lead to serious issues. We were told we were getting a healthy infant and it is far from what happened. No regrets and all joy but we are in therapies for speech and OT daily and possible autism. Birthmom has no family history, but birthfather does. We were lied to from the birthfather on many things. There also is possible substance abuse. You will never fully know the truth. You have to be open to the possibility of everything. Very few display outward symptoms. Substance abuse can be far worse than mild autism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP, thanks. I have three months of paid leave but would only take 6 weeks and save the rest for appointments. I am AA and dc is multi-racial, so I am totally cool with adopting someone who looks like me. The daycare part scares me a bit since quality care is hard to get in DC. My job sponsers a center, so once I get certified, I might talk to the director. My dc is at another Federal center so I would get sibling preference there. How much is the daycare subsidy? My center is about 1400 a month. I want to save as much as I can because I will supplement the therapy from infants and toddlers with a private therapist too. I have to check to see if my insurance covers foster kids, I have a great holistic pediatrician and I want to use her again.

Find another place. Subsidy for day care is a lot less than $1400K a month

[Anonymous]

You should be able to get Medicare for the child because they're a ward of the state.

Investigate the agency you choose, some seriously suck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, thanks. I have three months of paid leave but would only take 6 weeks and save the rest for appointments. I am AA and dc is multi-racial, so I am totally cool with adopting someone who looks like me. The daycare part scares me a bit since quality care is hard to get in DC. My job sponsers a center, so once I get certified, I might talk to the director. My dc is at another Federal center so I would get sibling preference there. How much is the daycare subsidy? My center is about 1400 a month. I want to save as much as I can because I will supplement the therapy from infants and toddlers with a private therapist too. I have to check to see if my insurance covers foster kids, I have a great holistic pediatrician and I want to use her again.

Find another place. Subsidy for day care is a lot less than $1400K a month

Subsidy only covers certain centers.

If you live in MD and choose a MD center, but have a DC child, then DC will reimburse you for a portion of the cost of childcare equal to the amount of the subsidy, but if you choose to use childcare in DC you can only use a center or childcare provider who takes subsidy.

There are some good centers that take subsidy in DC, but they often have very long waiting lists. If you're even considering doing this, I'd get on those waiting lists now.