All Kids Are Gifted, a Sports Metaphor

[Anonymous]

I came across this post on the Hoagies' Gifted website. I often wonder why many parents seem to fear being ostracized if they mention that their child is gifted. However, no such fear really exists for the parents of gifted athletes. All children are not intellectually gifted, just as all children are not athletically gifted. I don't know why many people cannot seem to accept this fact.


All Kids Are Gifted, a Sports Metaphor

by Cathy Marciniak

Click for printer-ready All Kids Are Gifted, A Sports Metaphor

Max was 6'2" in seventh grade. When he played club basketball during middle school, the coaches were held to a very strict set of rules: every player plays, every game, and no player gets more than 4 minutes on the court; no exceptions. This is about fun, and sportsmanship, after all, and fairness means everyone gets the same thing. In his 4 minutes Max consistently scored 18 points or more, until the opposing teams caught on to the strategy of fouling him out in the first 70 seconds.

By the 9th grade he was 6'8", and there were fewer constraints on his playing. He got used to certain assumptions made about him -- that he only got good grades because he was a star athlete, for example, or that he was a ball hog, that he only scored so well because of his height, that he was undisciplined. He loved to play, but frequently wished that he could be just tall, or just an average athlete.

Now he's in 12th grade and 7 feet tall. Everywhere but the basketball court, where his height is an advantage, he's a freak. Girls won't date him, guys make stupid jokes about how the weather is up there and call him "Stretch," as though that's original. He's being scouted by division I universities, and it looks like he may -- finally -- be coached by someone who knows what he's doing, who can make him sweat and learn skills he doesn't have yet, and where he may actually have some serious competition. He knows that division I coaches get EXACTLY 9.9 scholarships per year, to allocate for the entire team.

Now, Max would be happy to be an invited walk-on, for a shot at a real challenge, but he gets signed by Hoops U. The day he signs the commitment letter, someone in the booster club congratulates him and adds, "I know just how you feel. My son is 5'11". Honestly, I think we put way too much emphasis on sports and not enough on whether you're a *good person.*"

The local paper carries an editorial: "All students are athletes. Every single one. I mean it." When half the populations of Indiana and North Carolina say, "Lady, you're an idiot," the writer submits a clarification. She really meant to say, "all students have an athletic ability. Some are good at badminton or dodgeball, some at division I basketball, and really, isn't love the most important thing?"

[Anonymous]

My son is a gifted athlete.

This article was obviously not written by somebody who understands athletes.

[Anonymous]

Actually, I think parents who think their children are gifted athletes when everyone around them can clearly see they are not are, in fact, pitied by others.

And that's the difference -- athletic talent is quite obvious to everyone. True intellectual giftedness is also very apparent to others.

This area is filled with bright children, but very few are truly "gifted" -- but for whatever reason there seem to be more parents who believe that their snowflake fits into that elite category when in fact they should just appreciate what they have.

Also, in sports, there is no appealing when you child isn't picked for the elite travel team.

[Anonymous]

This is a good example of why you shouldn't use one thing as a metaphor for another thing.

[Anonymous]

Kids get on "elite" sports teams all the time because somebody know somebody.

Also, really talented kids often don't get picked because the tryout is fake, the coaches have already selected the team, 1 hour at a try out is not the best way to assess talent.

[Anonymous]

First of all, get over yourself, "snowflake lady". You sound like such an ass every time you post.

For everyone else, I think most of the rest of us recognize that the reality of it is that both academic talent and athletic talent are a spectrum.

Yes, sometimes the super talented athlete somehow doesn't get on the team. Yes, somehow the kid with two left feet does get on the team because daddy the lawyer pulled some string or other. But generally that kind of situation is an outlyer. We haven't gotten rid of sports teams despite the fact that a.) not everyone gets on the team and b.) there's not always a perfect match between talent and getting on the team.

Yet given the fact that we still continue sports teams - and not just one sports team but multiple sports teams for every sport under the blue sky along with Title IX girls athletics programs to correspond with the boy's offerings - WHY on earth given that logic do we so resist things like G&T programs or test-in schools? Sports teams already basically do that kind of thing, where you have to demonstrate some level of proficiency to make the cut? And, it's clear that public schools all around the nation have no issue with funding sports programs. So why not G&T?

It's one or the other - if you are fine with sports programs then you should likewise be fine with G&T programs. Or, if you oppose G&T programs then you don't really have a viable argument for wanting to keep sports programs.

[Anonymous]

The essay reminded me of how iacceptable it is to say your 7 year old does 12 hours of competitive gymnadtics, or swim on a swim team five days a week for an hour, or your 10 year old plays travel soccer eight hours a week, but god forbid you send your kid to 30 mon. A week of Kumon for math enrichment, or an academic enrichment class twice a week. Then you are a terrible parent pushing your kid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First of all, get over yourself, "snowflake lady". You sound like such an ass every time you post.

Take a chill pill, darling.

1) I'm not a "lady." I don't even have the right chromosomes.
2) The term "snowflake" is used ubiquitously on the Internet to deride those who seem to have an exaggerated and entitled sense of their children's talents and abilities. To suggest I am the only one who uses the term or to confuse the very many others who use it with me is misguided at best. Clearly it touches a nerve, though -- maybe you're one of the "those" parents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The essay reminded me of how iacceptable it is to say your 7 year old does 12 hours of competitive gymnadtics, or swim on a swim team five days a week for an hour, or your 10 year old plays travel soccer eight hours a week, but god forbid you send your kid to 30 mon. A week of Kumon for math enrichment, or an academic enrichment class twice a week. Then you are a terrible parent pushing your kid

Again not a good analogy unless your child goes yo a school that does gymnastics everyday in school.

[Anonymous]

Here are some of the differences that I see between my experience with parents of academically gifted kids, and athletically gifted kids, speaking as a parent of a child who is pretty average in both areas.

1) I don't read post after post about how schools should take public money and resource away from children who use wheelchairs or walkers and give them to children who are very good at shooting baskets, because those kids "need" special treatment just as much as other children.

2) I don't read threads where people imply that my athletically pretty average kid is somehow worth less or deserves less than a child who is athletically gifted, but when people post in the college forum, for example, about trying to find the right college for a hardworking B or C student with learning disabilities, people will frequently post that such kids don't deserve a college experience, and should stay home and attend community college.

3) I don't see being athletically gifted being used as an excuse for a child to act out, disrupt practice, or mistreat their friends. Most of the parents of gifted athletes I know still expect their kids to show and work hard at practice.

4) I don't see parents of gifted athletes act as my average athlete child is somehow contagious and has the potential to contaminate their child.

[Anonymous]

Pp, your arguments are unpersuasive and even false.

1. No one takes money away from children with special learning needs to benefit gifted kids. Special Ed is funded federally by law with lots of money and special accommodations. AAP gets no additional money other than bussing. And truly gifted kids are special needs but receive no money by law.

4. Parents of athletically talented kids and athletic kids routinely disregard kids who are no strong athletically.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First of all, get over yourself, "snowflake lady". You sound like such an ass every time you post.

Take a chill pill, darling.

1) I'm not a "lady." I don't even have the right chromosomes.
2) The term "snowflake" is used ubiquitously on the Internet to deride those who seem to have an exaggerated and entitled sense of their children's talents and abilities. To suggest I am the only one who uses the term or to confuse the very many others who use it with me is misguided at best. Clearly it touches a nerve, though -- maybe you're one of the "those" parents?

"Ubiquitously?" Not exactly, and certainly not unambiguously as it's also frequently used disparagingly as a racist, anti-white term.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pp, your arguments are unpersuasive and even false.

1. No one takes money away from children with special learning needs to benefit gifted kids. Special Ed is funded federally by law with lots of money and special accommodations. AAP gets no additional money other than bussing. And truly gifted kids are special needs but receive no money by law.

4. Parents of athletically talented kids and athletic kids routinely disregard kids who are no strong athletically.

Academically gifted kids are far more likely to be bullied, beaten up, harrassed, demoralized and torn down than athletically gifted kids are, yet it's the academically gifted who have far fewer supports in the school system as compared to athletically gifted students. It shows extremely messed-up priorities in society that we care more about football than we do about things like science and engineering. It's no wonder we are gradually backsliding to become a third-world country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pp, your arguments are unpersuasive and even false.

1. No one takes money away from children with special learning needs to benefit gifted kids. Special Ed is funded federally by law with lots of money and special accommodations. AAP gets no additional money other than bussing. And truly gifted kids are special needs but receive no money by law.

4. Parents of athletically talented kids and athletic kids routinely disregard kids who are no strong athletically.

NP. I must add:

3. Gifted athletes' bad behavior is routinely dismissed and rationalized. Academic standards are often lowered for them, and agressive (and sometimes dangerous) behavior is simply ignored. The list of bad acting athletes is way too long to list here. However, one example is Aaron Hernandez (former Patriots player). This guy appears to be an actual serial murderer. While he is an extreme example, I guarantee you that many people looked the other way when he was much younger because of his superior atheletic abilities--and that is the norm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp, your arguments are unpersuasive and even false.

1. No one takes money away from children with special learning needs to benefit gifted kids. Special Ed is funded federally by law with lots of money and special accommodations. AAP gets no additional money other than bussing. And truly gifted kids are special needs but receive no money by law.

4. Parents of athletically talented kids and athletic kids routinely disregard kids who are no strong athletically.

NP. I must add:

3. Gifted athletes' bad behavior is routinely dismissed and rationalized. Academic standards are often lowered for them, and agressive (and sometimes dangerous) behavior is simply ignored. The list of bad acting athletes is way too long to list here. However, one example is Aaron Hernandez (former Patriots player). This guy appears to be an actual serial murderer. While he is an extreme example, I guarantee you that many people looked the other way when he was much younger because of his superior atheletic abilities--and that is the norm.

Actually I think it is the opposite. Most athletes are nothing like Aaron Hernandez. But... Kids that are athletic have to live to a greater standard. Their behavior is constantly being scrutinized. Every teen has some issues here and there but an athlete who has an issue can expect their issue to be publicized. They also may get a b or C because they don't have time for tutoring or hours and hours of homework. They may choose a lighter schedule with less AP classes and people assume they are dumb jocks.