My 17 year old has gotten obsessed with my fitness pal

[Anonymous]

So a few months ago I noticed DD downloaded this app. I asked her about it and she said "everyone" has it and its a good way to see how many calories are in restaurant foods. Then she mainly claimed to be using it to up her protein for cross country. However over the past few months Ive noticed her enter things in almost daily and its getting me concerned. I looked over her "dairy" and she allows herself 1500 calories a day which I feel is SO low for a very active teenager who is 5 ft 7 inch and 135 pounds. Every time I approach her about it she gets defensive and says she "cheats" all the time and I am making a huge deal out of nothing. WWYD? Should I drop it? I can't take away her smartphone (she pays for it), plus I feel like that would just add fuel to the fire. Any tips?

[Anonymous]

This, without more, is not an issue.

[Anonymous]

First, underestimating calorie intake is a given. It takes an iron will and constant focus NOT to cheat, so she's certainly eating more.

Second, "my fitness pal" is most probably a trend that she will grow tired of after a while (weeks, months). Heck, I tracked calories obsessively for 6 months when I was 27. It was part of my Eat Clean Diet and gave me a great bikini body. Then I lost interest.

Third, don't go control-freak all over her unless you see other signs of a possible eating disorder. Otherwise YOU will end up giving her an eating disorder.

[Anonymous]

Non issue. Sounds like she's being aware, not obsessive. Good for her. I'm shocked you even contemplated taking away her phone over something like this. She's 17!

[Anonymous]

She's not that thin. I don't see a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's not that thin. I don't see a problem.

Typical obnoxious response. An active kid that age should be eating way more than 1500 cals a day. I'd be somewhat concerned, OP.

[Anonymous]

Do you have close family members who have problems with addictions? Then I'd be inclined to worry about it. Addictive behavior runs in families.

Otherwise I would wait and see.

[Anonymous]

I was taller, slimmer and played a million sports at her age and probably ate similarly. Be worried if she gets into drugs, alcohol, promisquity, failing classes, etc. Not healthy habits. Are you crazy OP?

[Anonymous]

What teen girl at some point doesn't do some kind of dieting / caring about weight.

I had great self-confidence, no body image issues, no weight issues and I still would get into a fad diet for a month or two or I would decide to get healthier and count calories for x weeks.

Boys at the same time often start caring about muscles and not having them and going to the gym etc...

It is all part of being a teen. I work with teens and there are very few who are completely oblivious to weight, diet, exercise.

Doesn't mean anything in the absence of other concerning behavior.

[Anonymous]

OP I'm in same boat only DD is a bit younger and in an activity notorious for eating disorders. The fitness app does seem to be a trend right now but I'm forever on the lookout because of the effect I've seen of social media on DD. For example, Pinterest and Tumblr are full of selfies of either girls with EDs or who have photoshopped themselves. They make magazine models seem overweight. There are also boatloads of "how to loss weight" under the guise of "healthy" out there too. Once the kids pin a few - guess what - that's what now shows up on their feeds. It's a vicious cycle and I wish there was something that could be done.

I do feel like I'm walking a fine line between confronting her about stuff - like that stupid, viral "cinnamon cleanse" crap that she wanted to try and tried to sneak around to do so - and letting it go and not making a big deal about it.

Sure, I need to worry about addiction, like alcohol and drugs, because it runs in my family but EDs seem to be pretty rampant too lately, thanks in no small part to social media, imho. Just praying they all make it safely to adulthood.

[Anonymous]

E.D. survivor here. Look out for any extreme behavior. she has to exercise every day or she scoffs at eating a cookie etc. or can't have birthday cake, freaks out about pizza or you see she starts to sneak any binge food or sneaks throwing away food to avoid eating it
if she's just watching what she eats, it is okay, but could still quickly turn into something. the worst is to bring it up making her feel like people are watching what she eats. that feeds any food issues further. just make sure she's eating a healthy diet and generally in the right direction.

[Anonymous]

OP, I would be concerned.

Active teenagers don't get that the low-carb, low-calorie rules don't apply to them. it is one thing to be aware of your diet at that age, but a complete other thing when you are tracking calories.

Maybe have her talk to a nutritionist or dietitian? Is she playing a spring sport? Maybe you can talk to the coach about brining one in to talk to the team?

I played sports in college and someone came and talked to all the female athletes. She told us something like 60% of Division I female athletes had some form of eating disorder, and that girls who played sports were more likely to have one than girls who didn't. I found it odd becuase the girls playing sports were more fit, but she said it is becuase we feel the need to "maintain" a certain image.

Bottom line, if you feel something is not right, it ususally isn't. Trust your motherly instincts.

[Anonymous]

5'7" and 135 is a perfectly healthy weight for a teenage girl. The lowest healthy weight per the BMI chart for 57 is 121.

1500 cal is a fine goal. Americans eat too much. That would be the right amount of calories to eat if she wasn't an athlete. Presumably she doesn't do cross-country around, right? So when she is in training, she should probably eat a few hundred calories more.

[Anonymous]

Year round, not around

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:E.D. survivor here. Look out for any extreme behavior. she has to exercise every day or she scoffs at eating a cookie etc. or can't have birthday cake, freaks out about pizza or you see she starts to sneak any binge food or sneaks throwing away food to avoid eating it
if she's just watching what she eats, it is okay, but could still quickly turn into something. the worst is to bring it up making her feel like people are watching what she eats. that feeds any food issues further. just make sure she's eating a healthy diet and generally in the right direction.

+1 except for the daily exercise. If she's active in a sport, such as cross country, she will be running miles every day. I'd watch for the compulsive exercising in response to eating foods and any signs of distorted body image. But based on what the OP said, I'd be more concerned with mom exerting control over her food and fueling any eating disorder that may or may not be present.