highly gifted centers (HGCs) advice on how to prepare kid for acceptance or rejection

[Anonymous]

I know the notices of acceptance to the highly gifted centers (HGCs) come out this month.

DC applied to HGC that sibling currently attending. DC is pretty competitive and wants to attend - although local school very good too.

I have heard and read about kids getting upset if they don't get in. I was hoping that would not be the case, but that is probably naive. Though I am not sure what DC has understood, we often talk about the importance of fit, knowing he is plenty smart, the HGC testing process is subjective, and we feel all the school options are great.

Beyond that, any advice to prepare DC mentally for getting in and attending or not getting into the HGC??

Reading previous posts was helpful in that I plan to discuss that either way, it is not something to talk about with friends!

[Anonymous]

Wow that is tough. My oldest applied and he doesn't really want to go anyways. I was debating not even telling him if he doesn't get in since I think he has forgotten about it. I just hope it is not discussed at school. I think that's a favor we parents can all do for each other - to try to minimize the talk at school.

[Anonymous]

I thought letters were timed to arrive during Spring break, so that the central office wouldn't be deluged with calls right away.

I agree rejection can be hard, OP, especially if your DC has a sibling attending an HGC.

My son has forgotten about it, but will be probably be reminded of it by classmates, if one of them is accepted. I think he won't really care either way. We kept the "other school" very nebulous.

But I will care! Isn't that ridiculous? Ugh, distraction, distraction.

[Anonymous]

Last year the letters arrived the Wed or Thursday before break.

[Anonymous]

I would just let it go until the letter arrives. We had slightly different situation. Older one got wait listed, then offered spot that we turned down. So, younger one knew that beloved older brother didn't go and why.

Younger one clearly needed HGC more than his brother. We talked a lot about right fit for each child and that everyone is different. Thankfully, younger one did get in and he's now at HGC.

When letters arrived last year, his classmates got his letters before him. There was a child who told him he must not have gotten in because he didn't get a letter. He was upset, but only for a day, as his letter was at the house that evening.

[Anonymous]

OP,

Tough situation. My nephew was in a similar situation and BIL called the entire family and took us out for dinner. My nephew was told that it was to celebrate the fact that he was open to "trying" his luck and taking a chance in applying. Actually, BIL is huge in celebrating these kinds of setbacks, and it has really taken the sting out of any rejections for these kids. This is not the only rejection they will face in their lives so to see the positive in a not great experience is a good tactic.

I have seen HGC kids really taking it hard when they don't get into the magnet MS. Very hard when most other kids get in and now you have to go back to regular middle kids without the friends you made over the last two years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP,

I have seen HGC kids really taking it hard when they don't get into the magnet MS. Very hard when most other kids get in and now you have to go back to regular middle kids without the friends you made over the last two years.

We're in this situation...6th grader, was in HGC but is now in the home middle school. It's tough...I think he would be much happier and, obviously, more challenged at a magnet middle school, but that just didn't work out. Our home middle school is in no way as inspirational as the HGC was, when he came home wanting to read books because his classmates were reading them, was challenged by homework and assignments, was excited to learn and had terrific teachers. Haven't seen him excited by any of this year's assignments. Then again, I also haven't seen him stressed out w/schoolwork...

[Anonymous]

You tell DC that not everyone can get into the program and chances are DC won't get in. There are very few spots, not enough to accommodate all of the very smart children in the County. If DC doesn't get in, it has nothing to do with how smart DC is and DC will get to be the big fish. DC can be a patrol and take part in the unique activities offered by DC's home school that are not offered in the HGC programs. This happens to children every year, and the kids who do not make it into the program end up in the same exact place as the HGC kids once they get into middle school and high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP,

Tough situation. My nephew was in a similar situation and BIL called the entire family and took us out for dinner. My nephew was told that it was to celebrate the fact that he was open to "trying" his luck and taking a chance in applying. Actually, BIL is huge in celebrating these kinds of setbacks, and it has really taken the sting out of any rejections for these kids. This is not the only rejection they will face in their lives so to see the positive in a not great experience is a good tactic.

I have seen HGC kids really taking it hard when they don't get into the magnet MS. Very hard when most other kids get in and now you have to go back to regular middle kids without the friends you made over the last two years.

This is terribly sad and unnecessary. The County really ought to get rid of these programs and make accommodations in home schools to ALL of the children who should be participating in such programs.

[Anonymous]

Couldn't agree with your more PP. And we need something that starts earlier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP,

Tough situation. My nephew was in a similar situation and BIL called the entire family and took us out for dinner. My nephew was told that it was to celebrate the fact that he was open to "trying" his luck and taking a chance in applying. Actually, BIL is huge in celebrating these kinds of setbacks, and it has really taken the sting out of any rejections for these kids. This is not the only rejection they will face in their lives so to see the positive in a not great experience is a good tactic.

I have seen HGC kids really taking it hard when they don't get into the magnet MS. Very hard when most other kids get in and now you have to go back to regular middle kids without the friends you made over the last two years.

This is terribly sad and unnecessary. The County really ought to get rid of these programs and make accommodations in home schools to ALL of the children who should be participating in such programs.

Kids who are in the top 3% or so cannot be accommodated at the home school. That is the point of the HGC - to provide instruction not available at the home school. There is just no way to provide the kind of instruction the HGC provides in a regular-classroom environment, and no home school has enough of these kids to create a separate classroom.

[Anonymous]

We didn't even tell our kid he was going to take a test for HGC. She didn't know what HGC was. All these things can be explained and discussed only after the acceptance letter comes. If you do this, your kid will probably not notice or care too much if other kids discuss they have been accepted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have seen HGC kids really taking it hard when they don't get into the magnet MS. Very hard when most other kids get in and now you have to go back to regular middle kids without the friends you made over the last two years.

Anecdotally, it was not my impression this year that "most" of the kids in the elementary HGC got into the middle-school HGC. Maybe half did, which means that half didn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids who are in the top 3% or so cannot be accommodated at the home school. That is the point of the HGC - to provide instruction not available at the home school. There is just no way to provide the kind of instruction the HGC provides in a regular-classroom environment, and no home school has enough of these kids to create a separate classroom.

Actually, I've been wondering about this. There were definitely kids in my kid's home elementary school class who would have been great at the elementary HGC, but who didn't get in. And then lots of kids in the elementary HGC didn't get into the middle-school HGC. And lots of kids who were not in the elementary HGC did get into the middle-school HGC -- or so I assume, from the numbers. So were they not in the top 3%, and then they were; or they were in the top 3%, and then they weren't? I think a likelier explanation is that the system of identifying "the top 3%" doesn't work very well. And I don't blame MCPS for this, either; I don't think it's possible to design a good system for this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP,

Tough situation. My nephew was in a similar situation and BIL called the entire family and took us out for dinner. My nephew was told that it was to celebrate the fact that he was open to "trying" his luck and taking a chance in applying. Actually, BIL is huge in celebrating these kinds of setbacks, and it has really taken the sting out of any rejections for these kids. This is not the only rejection they will face in their lives so to see the positive in a not great experience is a good tactic.

I have seen HGC kids really taking it hard when they don't get into the magnet MS. Very hard when most other kids get in and now you have to go back to regular middle kids without the friends you made over the last two years.

This is terribly sad and unnecessary. The County really ought to get rid of these programs and make accommodations in home schools to ALL of the children who should be participating in such programs.

Kids who are in the top 3% or so cannot be accommodated at the home school. That is the point of the HGC - to provide instruction not available at the home school. There is just no way to provide the kind of instruction the HGC provides in a regular-classroom environment, and no home school has enough of these kids to create a separate classroom.

I completely disagree with you. It is possible to accommodate children who need it. And 3% is an arbitrary number.