OMG in laws
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Anonymous
| Stop freaking visiting us during the week - we are exhausted with a baby who doesn't STTN and don't have the time or energy to entertain you after we come home from work in the evenings. I'm so tired and I can't go to bed because they expect us to sit and chat with them until their 11:30pm bedtime. I need to go to sleep!! They think it's rude if I don't!! |
Anonymous
| Rude if I don't entertain them, that is. |
Anonymous
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Oh, I'd just be "rude" in their eyes. "I'm sorry if you find this rude, but I feel like we're close enough that we can be honest with each other. Larlo doesn't sleep through the night and I am just exhausted. Weeknight visits just are not working for us. We'd love to have you over for brunch on Sunday though. Come by around 10am, but right now, I really need to go to sleep."
And DH MUST back you up on this. |
Anonymous
| Stop telling them they can come over. This is your fault, not theirs. |
Anonymous
| You are making a choice - stay awake and entertain, or go to sleep and be rude. The former isn't working for you so try the latter. |
Anonymous
| My in laws and parents are all night owls. I go to bed between 9:30 and 10. My husband stays up with them sometimes and other times does not. Parents understand. |
Anonymous
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You guys dramatize everything!
These are your parents or parents-in-law so what is wrong with just telling them you are tired and need to go to be. So they are on their own. Believe it or not, most would understand. |
Anonymous
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Tell them! Or DH tell them!
They're being rude just assuming they can come over. Or are they calling first and you're agreeing to it? If the former, call them up and say that drop-bys during the week aren't working right now--and if they show up, say it's a bad time right now and shut the door. If the latter, when they call, say no! |
Anonymous
| There's nothing rude about saying, "It's been lovely chatting with you, but as you know, Larla isn't sleeping through the night, and I'm exhausted, so I'm headed to bed. Good night!" Who cares if they think it's rude? Seriously, what awful thing will happen if you go to bed when you need to? |
Anonymous
Also if my parents want to visit during the week and have complaints about my schedule, what I serve for dinner, or how I run my household I just remind them what I heard so many times growing up. 1. My house, my rules. 2. If you don't like what's being served, make yourself a sandwich. |
Anonymous
Exactly! |
Anonymous
| Set up a time they can visit on the weekend and tell them the week's are too exhausting for visits. |
Anonymous
|
I'm a Dad, and very engaged with my kids. My line is always "well, i'm off to bed, anyone need any last thing before I go?."
Work with your partner to set up some rules and let your OMGILs know that's the way it needs to be for your health. (There is, by the way, something better than a baby that STTN. Thats when twins do it, the very same night. Then the next night. Then the night after that. 8 hours never seemed so long as when we are sleeping. ) |
Anonymous
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Are they showing up unannounced? Just answer the door, don't fully open it, and say "Oh, what a surprise! Look, I'm happy to see but we're just so beat right now. We're in no position to host. Why don't you come back at 10am on Saturday and we can catch up then. Good night!" and close the door.
Of course it's nice if DH is the one to do it since they're his parents but sometimes people don't take "no" very seriously from family - as the DIL, they can't take such liberties with you, so you may have to be the one to do it if the family otherwise has boundary issues. |
Anonymous
| DH needs to address this, respectfully, politely, and honestly. |