What do you do to maintain your own sanity?
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Anonymous
| How do you not get roped into your kid/s issues/depression? |
Anonymous
| Make some time for yourself to do something just for you, such as going to a cafe, out with friends, strolling in the mall, going to the gym etc., whatever you like. |
Anonymous
| Not OP, but I have no time for myself. I'm so exhausted and ragged. No family in area. Fed lawyer. DH works 70-80 hrs/week. |
Anonymous
Hire out and take the time - or you will burn out. |
Anonymous
20:29 here. You have to make the time. If you don't take care of yourself you are likely to get worn out or depressed even without SN child. Get a babysitter for 4 hours and go do something on your own. Or occasionally, when DH is home, get the kids in bed and go out with a friend or go on your own. Other ideas: see a movie, go to an art gallery, take a class, look in local blogs for current events, pick one and go. Or just take a very long bubble bath with a mindless magazine and a "do not disturb" sign on the door. Just do something relaxing for yourself, if not every week at least once a month or so. If you fall apart you won't be much help to anyone. |
Anonymous
The weird thing is I've forgotten how to have fun and relax. My mind thinks my clothes look horrible, I need to shop, but I'm too tired, hence no fun. But I will re-review the ideas you posted maybe something will click as relaxing versus a chore. |
Anonymous
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I'm lazy as all get-out, but I find a quick visit to the gym a few times a week to be a lifesaver. I feel better, I plug myself into my music, and I focus on me. It's hard to start, but so worth it. I try to build it into my day, right after drop off and before I head back home to work. If I go home first, I tend to skip the gym.
Whatever you enjoy, make the time. Signed, Have burned out before, and it's no fun. |
Anonymous
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as everyone said already: make time for you. does not have to be a lot, just enough to disconnect, find something to do that you enjoy, exercise, window shopping, get a manicure from time to time. I stay home and rely on one income, I keep very busy with a wonderful SN child and 2 other kids, but I make sure that every week, I get at least one or two hours of me time. This has help a lot. I also do not have family in town, and DH works an insane amount of hours, but I coordinate schedules in a way that I get some time to just do a very early morning walk or something along those lines.
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Anonymous
Then he needs to work less even at a lesser income. Family comes first. |
Anonymous
| I find most of these comments fairly unhelpful to tE fed lawyer. It's nice to say take time for yourself, but of she's like me, there isn't any time to take. My only suggestions are to try to take a zen approach where even if it is raging insanity around you, you go to a mental happy place. And try to double up the time-- eg listen to upbeat music while you pack lunches and fold laundry. Get a good book for your commute. And plan for your retirement, when you'll be able to rest a bit. (said only half in jest). |
Anonymous
I think sometimes it's also ok to close the door and cry. |
Anonymous
There is time if you make it a non-negotiable priority -just like we do for therapies for our children. BTDT and had all the excuses in the world. Make it a priority now before the damage is done - burnout is hard on everyone. If she is a Fed laywer and her DH works 70-80 hours a week, chances are they have the money to hire out a ton of stuff. DH may have to rethink his career too. Having children with SN adds to the stress and strain of life and making decisions and acting like you can do it all backfires more often than not. Hiring out- From house cleaning, laundry and yard work to meal preparation and food delivery can add minutes back to a schedule. If she is working full time that means the children are with someone else during the day. She can extend that time 30 minutes each day for herself. Couples also have to make time for themselves. The divorce rate among couples with SN children is astronomical. |
Anonymous
If I were OP, I'd be grateful to have the money to pay for services for my kid and a decent insurance plan. Yes, family comes first, but financial stress really sucks. OP, can you ask your DH if he can telework certain days? |
Anonymous
| If you don't think you can get out of the house, download a Yoga Nidra mediation and do that every night at bedtime. Baby steps. |
Anonymous
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if you take Metro, leave time so you can walk an extra 10-15 minutes daily. wont hurt you very much to leave only a few minutes for a nice brisk walk, a couple of times per week.
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