Resistant to homework
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Anonymous
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DS is in Kindergarten and he is very resistant to homework. He enjoys going to school and his recent FCPS report card was great and I hear nothing, but positive things from his teacher. However, he is very resistant to any kind of homework that he is supposed to do over the course of the week. It is not a lot of work by any means, but he is sloppy with his work, throws tantrums and tells us this is boring, takes too long etc.. He would rather play outside, invite friends over or build with his Lego blocks. I understand that he has had a long day at school, but we encounter the same issues on the weekend. This is getting very frustrating and I would like to find a better way to handle his and ultimately our frustrations with this homework issue. I have been patient so far and not lost my temper, but he is really pushing me to the breaking point. We did 'snow day' work this morning after breakfast and he got angry, threw his pencils on the floor, started crying etc. I finally sent him to his room to cool off.
I'm really worried that this is only going to get worse as the workload will increase during 1st or 2nd grade. What can we do to motivate him and make this a fun learning experience? I don't really want to bribe etc., but I admit, I have taken away TV privileges as punishment for throwing tantrums already. Ideas? |
Anonymous
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Let him not do homework and let him live with the consequences. If you want to be sure that he's spending his time well, implement a policy of no screens on weekdays.
Honestly, a kid who wants to play with Legos and run around outside is doing what a kindergartner should do after school. |
Anonymous
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Why is a kindergartner assigned homework to begin with???
--an FCPS principal |
Anonymous
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I put dd in aftercare and let her do her homework there. Took all the battle out of it for us
But fir kinder, I would tell the teacher he won't be doing homework and key him know he doesn't have to do it anymore fir this year bit starting in first grade he will. |
Anonymous
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You'll get a lot of feedback regarding this on the Special Needs forum.
Could be a mild attentional issue (mild ADHD) but that is a guess and nothing more. certainly not diagnosing your child. I can tell you however that I have a friend who's DS sounded very similar in K. He is now in 5th and FINALLY had a neuropsych eval which uncovered mild ADHD. I have a DS with moderate ADHD and symptoms are similar. OR.... it could be that he is just a little boy who prefers nature over homework. not such a terrible thing. |
Anonymous
To get them in a good habit and pattern of behavior. I think there should be more, not less to supplement learning at school as schools are now teaching to pass tests and not teaching the foundation/basics. I don't care if my k. can do a word problem. I care that they know their addition and subtraction and are reading well. |
Anonymous
Just so you know, your post makes no sense. Those who "teach to the test" are really just about making sure kids ONLY have basic knowledge and skills. What's missing is the development of students as critical thinkers and problem solvers. Things like word problems actually get at that. And it's interesting that you don't care about your kid solving a word problem, but only want them knowing their addition and subtraction facts (I won't even address how that is not a standard anywhere for a kindergartener.) You don't your kid to be able to think and reason, but instead to recite some facts and crunch numbers. Five year olds have plenty of time to learn good study habits. Homework is not necessary at that age. http://www.thecaseagainsthomework.com http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tag/the-case-against-homework http://www.alfiekohn.org/books/hm.htm |
Anonymous
Maybe invite his friends over a few time so they can do homework together before they start playing (or sending your kid to his friend's house)? Maybe if he sees his friends doing the same homework without complaint will let him know this is just something that needs to get done, and then play can be afterward. |
Anonymous
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Thank you for the feedback and ideas. I don't know if DS has ADHD or mild ADHD. Nobody has suggested that to us yet, but I guess, there is always a possibility.
To be clear, it is not a TON of homework, but just some supplementation to reinforce what is currently taught. I don't see anything wrong with it. I have noticed that DS handwriting skills have improved quite a bit with practice. He also used to mix the lower case b and d, z, s as well as some numbers. He hardly ever makes these mistakes anymore after having practiced writing these numbers and letters. He loves art, so I let him do a lot of cutting, pasting and drawing. He is usually fine if the assignment interests him, but if it is anything repetitive or something that he finds 'boring', then he'll definitely fight to either get it over with quickly or not do it at all. Maybe I'm reading too much into this. I was just wondering how other parents handle this and if I should maybe lay off a bit and not take it so serious. |
Anonymous
Please don't end sentences with prepositions. |
Anonymous
| Mom, he's a little guy not a teenager. IMO homework is pretty silly at that age. But if you really think it's useful, maybe set a time of day for it (10 minutes max). If he resists please don't push him or you'll just set up an aversion to homework in the future. Definitely definitely NOT worth losing patience or tantruming. Trust me that you'll look back at this ten years down the road and wish you'd just let it go. Good luck! |
Anonymous
| Sit down and do some paperwork of your own while he is doing it. Set the timer for ten minutes (maybe even five) and then take a break. Let him do it by himself. |
Anonymous
| Piece of advice: Don't make this a daily battle like I did with my son. It is my main regret. He is grown now. He is fine, but I regret all the nagging. |
Anonymous
| No one likes to do homework. It's K. Other than reading any homework in K is ridiculous. |
Anonymous
I didn't particular think the homework in K was worthwhile (find 3 words that start with the letter A) but luckily DD did not push back. My concern is setting up a situation where as a parent you are undermining the teacher and teaching your kid it's okay if you don't feel like doing the assignment. Honestly I would talk to the teacher and find out his/her suggestions. You are not the first with a kid that meltdowns when it comes to doing homework and rather play and there has to be a balance with your kids being able to be a kid and you enjoying your time with him and accomplishing whatever the purpose is for the homework (is it practice of math facts, handwriting, good study habits). In general we plan something enjoyable after homework because I think human nature is after the fun is done it is twice as hard to focus on something you didn't want to do in the first place. It's easier to be motivated when you have so etching to look forward to doing after you are done. We make it part of the routine after homework they get to do x and then get ready for bed. It's also a fine line with these things not to get into a power struggle with your kids ..because then they sometimes refuse to do things because that is one of the few things they can control completely and get adult reactions. |