Is my DC taking on too many extra curriculum classes?

[Anonymous]

Is my DC taking on too many extra curriculum classes?

DC is in grade 5, and each week he went to one piano class, one trombone class, two sessions of tennis which last 6 hours in total each week, and one foreign language class that lasts two hours. Is this too much for him? I am worried about his in-school performance which seems to be slipping. He is an ordinary kid and is not highly interested in any one of this activities.

[Anonymous]

Last sentence says it all. Winnow it down to one or two that he really enjoys. Do not fear unscheduled time.

[Anonymous]

No one can answer this except you and your child together, because it depends on interest level and resilience of child and whether activities necessitate driving time and homework. Is he happy with this? Do you see signs of stress? What about you, or the designated driver?

My 3rd grader has choir, 2 gym sessions, Lego activity, a 2hr Japanese math class and a 2.5hr native language class every week. I had to refuse him the chess club and soccer practice. He still finds time to read a ton. Right now it's Jurassic Park.

The challenge is time. Apart from gym and Lego, the three other classes have homework attached. All his activities are outside of school apart from Lego which means time spent in the car. It adds up to a huge amount of time. The rest of his waking hours is spent reading, eating and sleeping, with some free time and a few playdates thrown in. Definitely not my idea of a relaxing, carefree, childhood, but that's what he wants. He has a friend who does even more!

So ask him what he prefers doing, and go from there.

[Anonymous]

op here. Thanks. My thinking is that he should spend more time on academics and one area he really enjoys.

[Anonymous]

Is he enjoying this, or is he begging for free time?

One is too few. Definitely keep tennis. No reason to drop both instruments.

My kid at that age had soccer, piano, hebrew and occasionally something else.

[Anonymous]

OP,
You say he's not highly interested, but is he practicing his instruments, which is a given, and is he doing his language homework or is this all in-class language instruction? How can he master anything if he's doing so many things?

I vote for one instrument and tennis. Language can come later, in school.

[Anonymous]

Why do you pay all that money when he is t even interested ? I don't get it- are these lessons for him or you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is my DC taking on too many extra curriculum classes?

DC is in grade 5, and each week he went to one piano class, one trombone class, two sessions of tennis which last 6 hours in total each week, and one foreign language class that lasts two hours. Is this too much for him? I am worried about his in-school performance which seems to be slipping. He is an ordinary kid and is not highly interested in any one of this activities.

Why are you doing any of this? He's not interested. End of story.

Kids need down time, they need to learn ways to entertain themselves, to deal with boredom. You are way over scheduling him. PLus ease up on the academics, he's only in 5th grade. Let the poor kid be, you could really screw him up.

[Anonymous]

OP here.Thanks for your inputs. I am actually the father and dw is the one who dragged dc to these classes.

DC is barely practicing the instruments as he is not much interested. The thing he likes most is the tennis, but does not practice it much because of lack of time. In grade 4 he dropped the chess class because he was not paying any attention. He also dropped the swimming class b/c sickness.

Like many of you, I am also confused and bothered by DW's persistence (may I say stubborn) in this extra curriculum thing.

[Anonymous]

In your own words, op, your son is not particularly interested in any of these activities, yet he spends 6 hrs/ week on tennis, and takes 2 instruments? Start by dropping to one instrument so he has time to take a lesson and practice it, and dial back the tennis - 1-2 hrs a week is plenty if he's not trying for a competitive tennis circuit!

[Anonymous]

I'd drop both music lessons, drop foreign language, keep one tennis lesson and let that poor kid be a kid.

You need to give your wife Peter Gray's new book, Free to Learn

[Anonymous]

I'd say pick one instrument, and cut the tennis lessons in half.

[Anonymous]

OP - I would stick with piano if you want your kid to have some skills, trombone if you want your kid to have the social experience of band. Not both. My son took a few years of piano and by the end wasn't practicing much. We took a break for a year and started back with a different teacher. He now practices all the time and is progressing rapidly. I can tell you that as a middle schooler my son is good enough on the piano to have fun with it, and this is great.

The foreign language: unless this is religious training, or literacy training in a language you speak at home, I would drop it. Class without reinforcement is useless.

I say all this as the parent of a middle schooler doing three sports and piano (one sport ratcheting down, one ratcheting up and as long as grades are good I have no valid reason for saying "no"). For us, this works, but my son has complete buy-in. We both let out a huge sigh of relief when the intense years of religious training ended.

I would not cut tennis if he enjoys it, but personally I think one class and adding some practice in its place is plenty. My son played travel soccer by that age, and therefore spent a fair amount of time practicing. It was really good for him and he slept well every night.

[Anonymous]

I believe in exposure, esp. to a musical instrument and a sport. That said, if the kid is not interested, you're wasting your time and money. My kid is also in a bunch of extracurricular activities, but homework comes first and many nights we've just had to skip the extra-curricular stuff.

[Anonymous]

op here. I actually agree with most of you. I just tried to talk to dw about this but got shutdown.

I just don't see what is the point of dragging dc to classes that he is indifferent to. Moreover, I am also bothered by dc's lack of efforts in whatever he does, and I am worried about this may set a pattern for him.