Teachers are NOT the enemy!

[Anonymous]

If I had a dime for every parent who treated me like cr#^, I'd have retired by now...
So tired of the micro-managing, the second-guessing, the nit-picking, etc. What is the point of it?

I know the dcurbanmomers are likely going to tear me to shred with their snarky remarks on this, but let me just say:

I am a teacher at a close-in public school. I work hard and produce good results. My students enjoy coming to school. I communicate regularly with parents (positive and negative when necessary). I give freely of my time before and after school.
I am in my mid-thirties with over 10 years of teaching experience behind me, but not too old to be burnt out (despite the title of my thread)...yet I have found (being new the area) that the parents here cause me great stress.
-I have no problem with parents who are strong advocates for their child.
-I have no problem with parents who question a strategy, method, etc.
-I don't even mind your questioning a grade.

What I have a problem with is:
-Skewed expectations of your child's abilities (want them in a higher group than they are capable)
-The expectation of special treatment without valid reason
-Constantly wanting to alter the way I do things and sending in things you find on teacherspayteachers that I should try!!!!!
-Constant criticism
-Down-talking me to colleagues

What is it that makes parents so crazy? Do they really think they are helping their child with this behavior? I don't have kids of my own. Help me understand?????

[Anonymous]

This won't answer your question, but as a parent of two SN kids (and a NT one) in MCPS, I am constantly aware that everyone is on the side of my kids. We have the same goals, which are to make my kids as successful as they can be. I love that every time we have a school meeting, I get to witness so many people investing in my kids. Teachers offer so much more than I would have ever thought ask for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This won't answer your question, but as a parent of two SN kids (and a NT one) in MCPS, I am constantly aware that everyone is on the side of my kids. We have the same goals, which are to make my kids as successful as they can be. I love that every time we have a school meeting, I get to witness so many people investing in my kids. Teachers offer so much more than I would have ever thought ask for.

NP here. Thanks for this! I work with SN kids in MCPS and I feel like I could have wrote what OP said. So it's good to hear a positive feedback from a parent.

[Anonymous]

OP, just a little something to brighten up your day...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I had a dime for every parent who treated me like cr#^, I'd have retired by now...
So tired of the micro-managing, the second-guessing, the nit-picking, etc. What is the point of it?

I know the dcurbanmomers are likely going to tear me to shred with their snarky remarks on this, but let me just say:

I am a teacher at a close-in public school. I work hard and produce good results. My students enjoy coming to school. I communicate regularly with parents (positive and negative when necessary). I give freely of my time before and after school.
I am in my mid-thirties with over 10 years of teaching experience behind me, but not too old to be burnt out (despite the title of my thread)...yet I have found (being new the area) that the parents here cause me great stress.
-I have no problem with parents who are strong advocates for their child.
-I have no problem with parents who question a strategy, method, etc.
-I don't even mind your questioning a grade.

What I have a problem with is:
-Skewed expectations of your child's abilities (want them in a higher group than they are capable)
-The expectation of special treatment without valid reason
-Constantly wanting to alter the way I do things and sending in things you find on teacherspayteachers that I should try!!!!!
-Constant criticism
-Down-talking me to colleagues

What is it that makes parents so crazy? Do they really think they are helping their child with this behavior? I don't have kids of my own. Help me understand?????

So, here's the thing. You lose credibility when you say that you can't stand when parents want advancement when the kids aren't capable. I am sure that happens, but it also happens that teachers have no idea what the kids are capable of because of the chaotic environment, unclear instructions, and very limited time with each kid. You shouldn't assume your estimation of a kid's capability is accurate.
What makes parents crazy is that we've been taught from experience that the system doesn't have our kids best interests at heart. Some individual teachers do, yes. But that trust is hard to establish in the current climate.

[Anonymous]

So, here's the thing. You lose credibility when you say that you can't stand when parents want advancement when the kids aren't capable. I am sure that happens, but it also happens that teachers have no idea what the kids are capable of because of the chaotic environment, unclear instructions, and very limited time with each kid. You shouldn't assume your estimation of a kid's capability is accurate.

What makes parents crazy is that we've been taught from experience that the system doesn't have our kids best interests at heart. Some individual teachers do, yes. But that trust is hard to establish in the current climate.

When you think about it, there will ALWAYS be other students smarter than your kid and students much lower than your kid. That's life, PP.

So does the system set up kids for failure? It's a system. It functions at a global level. It's up to the principals to ensure that all their teachers are trained in the curriculum (which now spans from 2.0 to IB) and fully know how to implement it. Unfortunately, money attracts money. So of course your high flying schools have all the resources in the world. Training and collaboration are priorities. In other parts of the county, day-to-day survival is the norm.

So does the system set up kids for failure?

Sometimes the parents do - purely by having means.

While I get your point, PP - as both a parent AND a teacher in a highly impacted environment - we have to judge current ability on performance measures. If Map-R is showing that your child is reading 2 grade levels behind, your child will be in the lower reading group. That's just a fact. In Bethesda, this child would be receiving tutoring after school and on Saturdays. This may not be the norm in other parts of the county with high poverty rates.

So a teacher in survival mode has to label and categorize students. Without the labels, how do you provide each student with the differentiated instructional practices to meet his/her needs?

And WITH labels, we sometimes get stuck on current ability and fail to see other opportunities for growth.

It's a vicious cycle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This won't answer your question, but as a parent of two SN kids (and a NT one) in MCPS, I am constantly aware that everyone is on the side of my kids. We have the same goals, which are to make my kids as successful as they can be. I love that every time we have a school meeting, I get to witness so many people investing in my kids. Teachers offer so much more than I would have ever thought ask for.

As someone else who works with SN kids in MCPS, I wanted to say thank you. I am also aware that you have the more difficult role being the parent, and want to support you and your efforts in any way that I can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I had a dime for every parent who treated me like cr#^, I'd have retired by now...
So tired of the micro-managing, the second-guessing, the nit-picking, etc. What is the point of it?

I know the dcurbanmomers are likely going to tear me to shred with their snarky remarks on this, but let me just say:

I am a teacher at a close-in public school. I work hard and produce good results. My students enjoy coming to school. I communicate regularly with parents (positive and negative when necessary). I give freely of my time before and after school.
I am in my mid-thirties with over 10 years of teaching experience behind me, but not too old to be burnt out (despite the title of my thread)...yet I have found (being new the area) that the parents here cause me great stress.
-I have no problem with parents who are strong advocates for their child.
-I have no problem with parents who question a strategy, method, etc.
-I don't even mind your questioning a grade.

What I have a problem with is:
-Skewed expectations of your child's abilities (want them in a higher group than they are capable)
-The expectation of special treatment without valid reason
-Constantly wanting to alter the way I do things and sending in things you find on teacherspayteachers that I should try!!!!!
-Constant criticism
-Down-talking me to colleagues

What is it that makes parents so crazy? Do they really think they are helping their child with this behavior? I don't have kids of my own. Help me understand?????

So, here's the thing. You lose credibility when you say that you can't stand when parents want advancement when the kids aren't capable. I am sure that happens, but it also happens that teachers have no idea what the kids are capable of because of the chaotic environment, unclear instructions, and very limited time with each kid. You shouldn't assume your estimation of a kid's capability is accurate.
What makes parents crazy is that we've been taught from experience that the system doesn't have our kids best interests at heart. Some individual teachers do, yes. But that trust is hard to establish in the current climate.

np. On the contrary, pp, I think the teacher is probably in the best position to provide a professional and accurate assessment of your child's abilities. You only know your children -- the teacher has dealt with hundreds through the years and has a much better idea of where your child's capabilities fall on the continuum.

If you constantly find conflict (reflected in the comment about how you have been "taught be experience that the system doesn't have our kids [sic] best interests at heart") then I'd suggest the common denominator there is you. Your kids probably really aren't as advanced as you think they are or wish them to be.

Start raising the children you have instead of the children you want.

[Anonymous]

And then you have the kids tested and the teachers have to eat crow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And then you have the kids tested and the teachers have to eat crow.

Sure, that happens once in a blue moon. But only very rarely. Fantasizing about gloating is weird, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This won't answer your question, but as a parent of two SN kids (and a NT one) in MCPS, I am constantly aware that everyone is on the side of my kids. We have the same goals, which are to make my kids as successful as they can be. I love that every time we have a school meeting, I get to witness so many people investing in my kids. Teachers offer so much more than I would have ever thought ask for.

NP here. Thanks for this! I work with SN kids in MCPS and I feel like I could have wrote what OP said. So it's good to hear a positive feedback from a parent.

Your grammar is terrible, Ms. Teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This won't answer your question, but as a parent of two SN kids (and a NT one) in MCPS, I am constantly aware that everyone is on the side of my kids. We have the same goals, which are to make my kids as successful as they can be. I love that every time we have a school meeting, I get to witness so many people investing in my kids. Teachers offer so much more than I would have ever thought ask for.

NP here. Thanks for this! I work with SN kids in MCPS and I feel like I could have wrote what OP said. So it's good to hear a positive feedback from a parent.

Your grammar is terrible, Ms. Teacher.

So are you, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I had a dime for every parent who treated me like cr#^, I'd have retired by now...
So tired of the micro-managing, the second-guessing, the nit-picking, etc. What is the point of it?

I know the dcurbanmomers are likely going to tear me to shred with their snarky remarks on this, but let me just say:

I am a teacher at a close-in public school. I work hard and produce good results. My students enjoy coming to school. I communicate regularly with parents (positive and negative when necessary). I give freely of my time before and after school.
I am in my mid-thirties with over 10 years of teaching experience behind me, but not too old to be burnt out (despite the title of my thread)...yet I have found (being new the area) that the parents here cause me great stress.
-I have no problem with parents who are strong advocates for their child.
-I have no problem with parents who question a strategy, method, etc.
-I don't even mind your questioning a grade.

What I have a problem with is:

-Skewed expectations of your child's abilities (want them in a higher group than they are capable)
-The expectation of special treatment without valid reason
-Constantly wanting to alter the way I do things and sending in things you find on teacherspayteachers that I should try!!!!!
-Constant criticism
-Down-talking me to colleagues

What is it that makes parents so crazy? Do they really think they are helping their child with this behavior? I don't have kids of my own. Help me understand?????

So, here's the thing. You lose credibility when you say that you can't stand when parents want advancement when the kids aren't capable. I am sure that happens, but it also happens that teachers have no idea what the kids are capable of because of the chaotic environment, unclear instructions, and very limited time with each kid. You shouldn't assume your estimation of a kid's capability is accurate.
What makes parents crazy is that we've been taught from experience that the system doesn't have our kids best interests at heart. Some individual teachers do, yes. But that trust is hard to establish in the current climate.

np. On the contrary, pp, I think the teacher is probably in the best position to provide a professional and accurate assessment of your child's abilities. You only know your children -- the teacher has dealt with hundreds through the years and has a much better idea of where your child's capabilities fall on the continuum.

If you constantly find conflict (reflected in the comment about how you have been "taught be experience that the system doesn't have our kids [sic] best interests at heart") then I'd suggest the common denominator there is you. Your kids probably really aren't as advanced as you think they are or wish them to be.
Start raising the children you have instead of the children you want.

I love the assumptions, which happen to be totally wrong. My kid's teacher says she's a little above grade level. She is well-behaved, causes no problems, does what she's told, so she's completely ignored. But at home, my kid reads and weites WAY above grade level. Not because she's coached at home either. Teacher acted like we are making this up. Not a major problem except my kid Hates school except recess with her own friends because she says it's boring and also says during class time she is sick of some kids misbehaving and being annoying. I have volunteered in the classrom, and totally see what she means. Lots of tough talk, minor violence, etc. Teacher means well, but can't control the classroom. Teacher's evaluation of my kid in that setting is worthless. Fine if you admit you don't really know ,y kid because the job is impossible. But don't assume you know best. It's laughable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I had a dime for every parent who treated me like cr#^, I'd have retired by now...
So tired of the micro-managing, the second-guessing, the nit-picking, etc. What is the point of it?

I know the dcurbanmomers are likely going to tear me to shred with their snarky remarks on this, but let me just say:

I am a teacher at a close-in public school. I work hard and produce good results. My students enjoy coming to school. I communicate regularly with parents (positive and negative when necessary). I give freely of my time before and after school.
I am in my mid-thirties with over 10 years of teaching experience behind me, but not too old to be burnt out (despite the title of my thread)...yet I have found (being new the area) that the parents here cause me great stress.
-I have no problem with parents who are strong advocates for their child.
-I have no problem with parents who question a strategy, method, etc.
-I don't even mind your questioning a grade.

What I have a problem with is:

-Skewed expectations of your child's abilities (want them in a higher group than they are capable)
-The expectation of special treatment without valid reason
-Constantly wanting to alter the way I do things and sending in things you find on teacherspayteachers that I should try!!!!!
-Constant criticism
-Down-talking me to colleagues

What is it that makes parents so crazy? Do they really think they are helping their child with this behavior? I don't have kids of my own. Help me understand?????

So, here's the thing. You lose credibility when you say that you can't stand when parents want advancement when the kids aren't capable. I am sure that happens, but it also happens that teachers have no idea what the kids are capable of because of the chaotic environment, unclear instructions, and very limited time with each kid. You shouldn't assume your estimation of a kid's capability is accurate.
What makes parents crazy is that we've been taught from experience that the system doesn't have our kids best interests at heart. Some individual teachers do, yes. But that trust is hard to establish in the current climate.

np. On the contrary, pp, I think the teacher is probably in the best position to provide a professional and accurate assessment of your child's abilities. You only know your children -- the teacher has dealt with hundreds through the years and has a much better idea of where your child's capabilities fall on the continuum.

If you constantly find conflict (reflected in the comment about how you have been "taught be experience that the system doesn't have our kids [sic] best interests at heart") then I'd suggest the common denominator there is you. Your kids probably really aren't as advanced as you think they are or wish them to be.
Start raising the children you have instead of the children you want.

I love the assumptions, which happen to be totally wrong. My kid's teacher says she's a little above grade level. She is well-behaved, causes no problems, does what she's told, so she's completely ignored. But at home, my kid reads and weites WAY above grade level. Not because she's coached at home either. Teacher acted like we are making this up. Not a major problem except my kid Hates school except recess with her own friends because she says it's boring and also says during class time she is sick of some kids misbehaving and being annoying. I have volunteered in the classrom, and totally see what she means. Lots of tough talk, minor violence, etc. Teacher means well, but can't control the classroom. Teacher's evaluation of my kid in that setting is worthless. Fine if you admit you don't really know ,y kid because the job is impossible. But don't assume you know best. It's laughable.

I get it. You think your precious little snowflake is special. And she is. To you, but really only to you. For what it's worth, a truly advanced or gifted child is never bored in school as they will always find something to do.

[Anonymous]

08:01 -- also i should have added, we did shell out the money to get the kid professionally evaluated, and what do you know? We were right! When no one was yelling at her while she tried to work, she was off the charts. Huh. Pathetic that we have to pay thousands just to show what's obvious in any reasonable setting. I feel for the kids whose parents don't have the resources.