Free-range kids picked up AGAIN by police

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's a lot of fighting here, so I'm trying to change the conversation a bit. What do you think about free range from the kids' perspective?

My thoughts are it's really driven by kid. My oldest never wanted to be alone and didn't ask for or want much freedom until MS.

My 9yo wants it desperately and wants to walk home 1 mile from school. I said he could bike, but he only wants to walk. But, for me the problem is that nobody else walks that far. But it's a battle with him.

So, I feel like free range parenting works based on individual kids.

For kids #1 I would find ways for him/her to become more independent ... he/she needs to learn to be alone and do things himself/herself. A slow and stead approach. You don't want college to be the first time they sleep away.

For the 9yo I would do whatever the laws allow.

Just remember we work so hard on letting our little ones/middle school kids be alone and independent... then HS hits and bam! where are you? who are you with? does the basement have alcohol? is it locked up? are the parents there?

kids start doing drug 8th-11th grade.... so freedom is given freely then often taken away in 1 bong hit

I really meant to open this more widely, I'm comfortable about how I'm raising my kids. I added my personal experience to point out how kids are different, even within the same family. My point it with the larger free range movement. Is the Meitiv's 6yo asking for freedom or not? Maybe is or maybe isn't. I think the best parents are the ones who parent the kids they have, rather than sticking to a rigid parenting style.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I live in Arlington and expecting my first child soon. I find this case disturbing, regardless of the particular situation, but because it made me look up the Arlington County rules.

8 years and under : Should not be left alone for any period of time. This includes leaving children unattended in cars, playgrounds and yards.
9 to 10 years : Should not be left alone for more than 1 ½ hours and only during daylight and early evening hours.
11 to 12 years : May be left alone for up to 3 hours, but not late at night or in circumstances requiring adult supervision.
13 to 15 years : May be left unsupervised, but not overnight.
16 to 17 years : May be left unsupervised for up to two consecutive overnight periods.


Seriously, this is saying a 6 year old cannot EVER be alone, even in your own yard! It makes me anxious just thinking about it! I'm a child of the 90's. As soon as I was capable of riding a bike (at 5) I was allowed to ride to the corner and back. My mom sent me out into the yard ALL THE TIME, pretty much every day. I walked to school which was about 5 blocks starting in first grade (and on weekends to the playground), and now that would be neglect?! I can't believe most of the board is saying that's legitimate neglect and the children deserve to be picked up by CPS to allow young siblings to feel some freedom. To never be out of your parents watchful gaze until your 8 years old seems like a recipe for anxiety and mental health issues to me, and just hatred from your kid. My partner and I really have to think about leaving this damn town if the general consensus here would be we're bad parents and don't deserve children.

Fairfax guidelines are almost the same.

And I ignore them. My kids play in the yard by themselves.

We're not all as crazy as this thread might suggest.

It's not against the rules to have them play in your yard by themselves as long as you keep an eye on them. I do, through the window sometimes

"watchful gaze"... I think YOU might have anxiety issues. Yes, they can be in the basement or another room, in their bedroom, in your yard. Tell them to stay out of the car/trunk on hot days though... just watch... it will be on the news in a matter of weeks, kid hides in family car/trunk and dies.

Sorry... i was talking to the watchful gaze poster who thinks looking out your window at them will cause them to have anxiety issues.
Oh definitely. Because I watch my 6 and 4 year old kids play in the backyard while I make dinner I have anxiety issues. Makes sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So are the police and CPS now going to pick up every kid under whatever age seen walking/playing alone? Did funding all of a sudden have a major increase?

I doubt either is true, so why THIS family? What is the real story with these ones, I wonder.

I'm wiling to bet there's a lot more going on here than we know about.

Exactly.

So the bets "CPS uncovers major neglect and abuse in a seemingly well-adjusted middle-class family never before referred to CPS by schools or associates" vs "local police and local social services misguided and inept"? hmmmmm. I think one is very well documented to be more likely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's a lot of fighting here, so I'm trying to change the conversation a bit. What do you think about free range from the kids' perspective?

My thoughts are it's really driven by kid. My oldest never wanted to be alone and didn't ask for or want much freedom until MS.

My 9yo wants it desperately and wants to walk home 1 mile from school. I said he could bike, but he only wants to walk. But, for me the problem is that nobody else walks that far. But it's a battle with him.

So, I feel like free range parenting works based on individual kids.

For kids #1 I would find ways for him/her to become more independent ... he/she needs to learn to be alone and do things himself/herself. A slow and stead approach. You don't want college to be the first time they sleep away.

For the 9yo I would do whatever the laws allow.

Just remember we work so hard on letting our little ones/middle school kids be alone and independent... then HS hits and bam! where are you? who are you with? does the basement have alcohol? is it locked up? are the parents there?

kids start doing drug 8th-11th grade.... so freedom is given freely then often taken away in 1 bong hit

I really meant to open this more widely, I'm comfortable about how I'm raising my kids. I added my personal experience to point out how kids are different, even within the same family. My point it with the larger free range movement. Is the Meitiv's 6yo asking for freedom or not? Maybe is or maybe isn't. I think the best parents are the ones who parent the kids they have, rather than sticking to a rigid parenting style.

and as a parent of older teens i laugh at home hard we worked on making our kids independent to find out that as they get older it is all for naught.

Point: which is a less responsible parent

1. leave your 6 yo in a basement with kids of both genders for a sleepover with alcohol available and never check on them.

2. leave your 16 yo in a basement with kids of both genders for a sleepover with alcohol available and never check on them.


For the answer to your questions... no the 6yo did not want to sit in a police car for 2 hours. Did the parents know that was a very real possibility, yes they did. Did they care? No. They didn't

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So are the police and CPS now going to pick up every kid under whatever age seen walking/playing alone? Did funding all of a sudden have a major increase?

I doubt either is true, so why THIS family? What is the real story with these ones, I wonder.

I'm wiling to bet there's a lot more going on here than we know about.

Exactly.

So the bets "CPS uncovers major neglect and abuse in a seemingly well-adjusted middle-class family never before referred to CPS by schools or associates" vs "local police and local social services misguided and inept"? hmmmmm. I think one is very well documented to be more likely.

More likely... Breaking News... the "concerned citizen" that called the police ends up being the parents and their wacko free range attention seeking friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's a lot of fighting here, so I'm trying to change the conversation a bit. What do you think about free range from the kids' perspective?

My thoughts are it's really driven by kid. My oldest never wanted to be alone and didn't ask for or want much freedom until MS.

My 9yo wants it desperately and wants to walk home 1 mile from school. I said he could bike, but he only wants to walk. But, for me the problem is that nobody else walks that far. But it's a battle with him.

So, I feel like free range parenting works based on individual kids.

For kids #1 I would find ways for him/her to become more independent ... he/she needs to learn to be alone and do things himself/herself. A slow and stead approach. You don't want college to be the first time they sleep away.

For the 9yo I would do whatever the laws allow.

Just remember we work so hard on letting our little ones/middle school kids be alone and independent... then HS hits and bam! where are you? who are you with? does the basement have alcohol? is it locked up? are the parents there?

kids start doing drug 8th-11th grade.... so freedom is given freely then often taken away in 1 bong hit

I really meant to open this more widely, I'm comfortable about how I'm raising my kids. I added my personal experience to point out how kids are different, even within the same family. My point it with the larger free range movement. Is the Meitiv's 6yo asking for freedom or not? Maybe is or maybe isn't. I think the best parents are the ones who parent the kids they have, rather than sticking to a rigid parenting style.

and as a parent of older teens i laugh at home hard we worked on making our kids independent to find out that as they get older it is all for naught.

Point: which is a less responsible parent

1. leave your 6 yo in a basement with kids of both genders for a sleepover with alcohol available and never check on them.

2. leave your 16 yo in a basement with kids of both genders for a sleepover with alcohol available and never check on them.


For the answer to your questions... no the 6yo did not want to sit in a police car for 2 hours. Did the parents know that was a very real possibility, yes they did. Did they care? No. They didn't

This tells me a lot about these parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's a lot of fighting here, so I'm trying to change the conversation a bit. What do you think about free range from the kids' perspective?

My thoughts are it's really driven by kid. My oldest never wanted to be alone and didn't ask for or want much freedom until MS.

My 9yo wants it desperately and wants to walk home 1 mile from school. I said he could bike, but he only wants to walk. But, for me the problem is that nobody else walks that far. But it's a battle with him.

So, I feel like free range parenting works based on individual kids.

For kids #1 I would find ways for him/her to become more independent ... he/she needs to learn to be alone and do things himself/herself. A slow and stead approach. You don't want college to be the first time they sleep away.

For the 9yo I would do whatever the laws allow.

Just remember we work so hard on letting our little ones/middle school kids be alone and independent... then HS hits and bam! where are you? who are you with? does the basement have alcohol? is it locked up? are the parents there?

kids start doing drug 8th-11th grade.... so freedom is given freely then often taken away in 1 bong hit

I really meant to open this more widely, I'm comfortable about how I'm raising my kids. I added my personal experience to point out how kids are different, even within the same family. My point it with the larger free range movement. Is the Meitiv's 6yo asking for freedom or not? Maybe is or maybe isn't. I think the best parents are the ones who parent the kids they have, rather than sticking to a rigid parenting style.

and as a parent of older teens i laugh at home hard we worked on making our kids independent to find out that as they get older it is all for naught.

Point: which is a less responsible parent

1. leave your 6 yo in a basement with kids of both genders for a sleepover with alcohol available and never check on them.

2. leave your 16 yo in a basement with kids of both genders for a sleepover with alcohol available and never check on them.


For the answer to your questions... no the 6yo did not want to sit in a police car for 2 hours. Did the parents know that was a very real possibility, yes they did. Did they care? No. They didn't

This tells me a lot about these parents.

I don't understand this argument! We all as parents shouldn't let our kids play in parks not because of any real danger but because CPS says so and they may take our kids?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's a lot of fighting here, so I'm trying to change the conversation a bit. What do you think about free range from the kids' perspective?

My thoughts are it's really driven by kid. My oldest never wanted to be alone and didn't ask for or want much freedom until MS.

My 9yo wants it desperately and wants to walk home 1 mile from school. I said he could bike, but he only wants to walk. But, for me the problem is that nobody else walks that far. But it's a battle with him.

So, I feel like free range parenting works based on individual kids.

For kids #1 I would find ways for him/her to become more independent ... he/she needs to learn to be alone and do things himself/herself. A slow and stead approach. You don't want college to be the first time they sleep away.

For the 9yo I would do whatever the laws allow.

Just remember we work so hard on letting our little ones/middle school kids be alone and independent... then HS hits and bam! where are you? who are you with? does the basement have alcohol? is it locked up? are the parents there?

kids start doing drug 8th-11th grade.... so freedom is given freely then often taken away in 1 bong hit

I really meant to open this more widely, I'm comfortable about how I'm raising my kids. I added my personal experience to point out how kids are different, even within the same family. My point it with the larger free range movement. Is the Meitiv's 6yo asking for freedom or not? Maybe is or maybe isn't. I think the best parents are the ones who parent the kids they have, rather than sticking to a rigid parenting style.

and as a parent of older teens i laugh at home hard we worked on making our kids independent to find out that as they get older it is all for naught.

Point: which is a less responsible parent

1. leave your 6 yo in a basement with kids of both genders for a sleepover with alcohol available and never check on them.

2. leave your 16 yo in a basement with kids of both genders for a sleepover with alcohol available and never check on them.


For the answer to your questions... no the 6yo did not want to sit in a police car for 2 hours. Did the parents know that was a very real possibility, yes they did. Did they care? No. They didn't

This tells me a lot about these parents.

I don't understand this argument! We all as parents shouldn't let our kids play in parks not because of any real danger but because CPS says so and they may take our kids?!

I'm getting the impression that there are a lot of things you have trouble understanding.

[Anonymous]

I'm familiar with this particular area. The "awful" intersections have wide sidewalks, clearly marked crosswalks, lots and lots of pedestrians, pedestrian signals, and low-speed (25-30 mph) roads. Are the intersections as safe as they could be? Absolutely not. Do you take your life into your hands when you cross Colesville Road and Georgia Avenue? Nope.

What park are we talking about? WashPo article says that the kids were found at Fenton & Easley. There is not a park there.

I am one of those who grew up in 70s suburbia (NJ) & was relatively "free range" from the age of 7ish/8ish. HOWEVER, I was not allowed to cross a very busy street nearby until 11/12ish. I was allowed to stay in a 10-min (roughly) radius by bike.

I now live in SS. My kids have roughly the same amount of freedom that I did. They are 10 and 7. I am totally comfortable with them going to a close by park (which is about a 5-10 minute walk away, no busy streets). This is the norm in my neighborhood. But I would not let them cross a very busy street (as a PP mentioned, too many crazy drivers going way too fast). I would not let my kids aged 10 and 7 cross Georgia or Colesville (which is apparently what the Meitivs were accustomed to do).

Also, if my kids were due home at 6 and I had not located them by 8pm, I would have already called the police myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's a lot of fighting here, so I'm trying to change the conversation a bit. What do you think about free range from the kids' perspective?

My thoughts are it's really driven by kid. My oldest never wanted to be alone and didn't ask for or want much freedom until MS.

My 9yo wants it desperately and wants to walk home 1 mile from school. I said he could bike, but he only wants to walk. But, for me the problem is that nobody else walks that far. But it's a battle with him.

So, I feel like free range parenting works based on individual kids.

For kids #1 I would find ways for him/her to become more independent ... he/she needs to learn to be alone and do things himself/herself. A slow and stead approach. You don't want college to be the first time they sleep away.

For the 9yo I would do whatever the laws allow.

Just remember we work so hard on letting our little ones/middle school kids be alone and independent... then HS hits and bam! where are you? who are you with? does the basement have alcohol? is it locked up? are the parents there?

kids start doing drug 8th-11th grade.... so freedom is given freely then often taken away in 1 bong hit

I really meant to open this more widely, I'm comfortable about how I'm raising my kids. I added my personal experience to point out how kids are different, even within the same family. My point it with the larger free range movement. Is the Meitiv's 6yo asking for freedom or not? Maybe is or maybe isn't. I think the best parents are the ones who parent the kids they have, rather than sticking to a rigid parenting style.

and as a parent of older teens i laugh at home hard we worked on making our kids independent to find out that as they get older it is all for naught.

Point: which is a less responsible parent

1. leave your 6 yo in a basement with kids of both genders for a sleepover with alcohol available and never check on them.

2. leave your 16 yo in a basement with kids of both genders for a sleepover with alcohol available and never check on them.


For the answer to your questions... no the 6yo did not want to sit in a police car for 2 hours. Did the parents know that was a very real possibility, yes they did. Did they care? No. They didn't

This tells me a lot about these parents.

I don't understand this argument! We all as parents shouldn't let our kids play in parks not because of any real danger but because CPS says so and they may take our kids?!

The argument is these parents made a poor choice when they decided to pursue this cause by allowing their kids to be in a situation where they KNEW they could be picked up and traumatized. They put their own cause before their kids' emotional welfare. (And don't tell me the kids' emotional welfare is contingent on going to the park alone - they'd be happy playing with mom sitting right there on a bench reading.) There were other ways to go about changing the laws that didn't risk losing their kids. They didn't choose those ways - way?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I'm familiar with this particular area. The "awful" intersections have wide sidewalks, clearly marked crosswalks, lots and lots of pedestrians, pedestrian signals, and low-speed (25-30 mph) roads. Are the intersections as safe as they could be? Absolutely not. Do you take your life into your hands when you cross Colesville Road and Georgia Avenue? Nope.

What park are we talking about? WashPo article says that the kids were found at Fenton & Easley. There is not a park there.

I am one of those who grew up in 70s suburbia (NJ) & was relatively "free range" from the age of 7ish/8ish. HOWEVER, I was not allowed to cross a very busy street nearby until 11/12ish. I was allowed to stay in a 10-min (roughly) radius by bike.

I now live in SS. My kids have roughly the same amount of freedom that I did. They are 10 and 7. I am totally comfortable with them going to a close by park (which is about a 5-10 minute walk away, no busy streets). This is the norm in my neighborhood. But I would not let them cross a very busy street (as a PP mentioned, too many crazy drivers going way too fast). I would not let my kids aged 10 and 7 cross Georgia or Colesville (which is apparently what the Meitivs were accustomed to do).

Also, if my kids were due home at 6 and I had not located them by 8pm, I would have already called the police myself.

So you do exactly the same thing this family does, as do others. This family should not be singled out and targeted, then.

You should advocate, for the sake of your kids and the others, to change the laws in Maryland.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I'm familiar with this particular area. The "awful" intersections have wide sidewalks, clearly marked crosswalks, lots and lots of pedestrians, pedestrian signals, and low-speed (25-30 mph) roads. Are the intersections as safe as they could be? Absolutely not. Do you take your life into your hands when you cross Colesville Road and Georgia Avenue? Nope.

What park are we talking about? WashPo article says that the kids were found at Fenton & Easley. There is not a park there.

I am one of those who grew up in 70s suburbia (NJ) & was relatively "free range" from the age of 7ish/8ish. HOWEVER, I was not allowed to cross a very busy street nearby until 11/12ish. I was allowed to stay in a 10-min (roughly) radius by bike.

I now live in SS. My kids have roughly the same amount of freedom that I did. They are 10 and 7. I am totally comfortable with them going to a close by park (which is about a 5-10 minute walk away, no busy streets). This is the norm in my neighborhood. But I would not let them cross a very busy street (as a PP mentioned, too many crazy drivers going way too fast). I would not let my kids aged 10 and 7 cross Georgia or Colesville (which is apparently what the Meitivs were accustomed to do).

Also, if my kids were due home at 6 and I had not located them by 8pm, I would have already called the police myself.

So you do exactly the same thing this family does, as do others. This family should not be singled out and targeted, then.

You should advocate, for the sake of your kids and the others, to change the laws in Maryland.

Look again. No she doesn't.

[Anonymous]

Petula Dvorak wrote about it:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/free-range-kids-and-our-parenting-police-state/2015/04/13/42c30336-e1df-11e4-905f-cc896d379a32_story.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's a lot of fighting here, so I'm trying to change the conversation a bit. What do you think about free range from the kids' perspective?

My thoughts are it's really driven by kid. My oldest never wanted to be alone and didn't ask for or want much freedom until MS.

My 9yo wants it desperately and wants to walk home 1 mile from school. I said he could bike, but he only wants to walk. But, for me the problem is that nobody else walks that far. But it's a battle with him.

So, I feel like free range parenting works based on individual kids.

For kids #1 I would find ways for him/her to become more independent ... he/she needs to learn to be alone and do things himself/herself. A slow and stead approach. You don't want college to be the first time they sleep away.

For the 9yo I would do whatever the laws allow.

Just remember we work so hard on letting our little ones/middle school kids be alone and independent... then HS hits and bam! where are you? who are you with? does the basement have alcohol? is it locked up? are the parents there?

kids start doing drug 8th-11th grade.... so freedom is given freely then often taken away in 1 bong hit

I really meant to open this more widely, I'm comfortable about how I'm raising my kids. I added my personal experience to point out how kids are different, even within the same family. My point it with the larger free range movement. Is the Meitiv's 6yo asking for freedom or not? Maybe is or maybe isn't. I think the best parents are the ones who parent the kids they have, rather than sticking to a rigid parenting style.

and as a parent of older teens i laugh at home hard we worked on making our kids independent to find out that as they get older it is all for naught.

Point: which is a less responsible parent

1. leave your 6 yo in a basement with kids of both genders for a sleepover with alcohol available and never check on them.

2. leave your 16 yo in a basement with kids of both genders for a sleepover with alcohol available and never check on them.


For the answer to your questions... no the 6yo did not want to sit in a police car for 2 hours. Did the parents know that was a very real possibility, yes they did. Did they care? No. They didn't

This tells me a lot about these parents.

I don't understand this argument! We all as parents shouldn't let our kids play in parks not because of any real danger but because CPS says so and they may take our kids?!

No. I have no fear of CPS coming to my door. But, if I had a run in with CPS and it was a real fear of mine I would be more vigilant. The parents said, they were afraid something like this was going to happen. (Though I think they hoped something would happen because they are attention seekers.)

It's like your first DWI is a freebie... the 2nd time... not so much!

[Anonymous]

So I have a seven year old whom I allow to walk my tiny toy dog up and down my (quiet, residential) street. How far is she reasonably allowed to go? At what point on my street do we cross the line into child neglect?

I don't allow her to cross the street, but what if she goes around the block? Is that substantial risk of harm?