Free-range kids picked up AGAIN by police

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I live in Arlington and expecting my first child soon. I find this case disturbing, regardless of the particular situation, but because it made me look up the Arlington County rules.

8 years and under : Should not be left alone for any period of time. This includes leaving children unattended in cars, playgrounds and yards.
9 to 10 years : Should not be left alone for more than 1 ½ hours and only during daylight and early evening hours.
11 to 12 years : May be left alone for up to 3 hours, but not late at night or in circumstances requiring adult supervision.
13 to 15 years : May be left unsupervised, but not overnight.
16 to 17 years : May be left unsupervised for up to two consecutive overnight periods.


Seriously, this is saying a 6 year old cannot EVER be alone, even in your own yard! It makes me anxious just thinking about it! I'm a child of the 90's. As soon as I was capable of riding a bike (at 5) I was allowed to ride to the corner and back. My mom sent me out into the yard ALL THE TIME, pretty much every day. I walked to school which was about 5 blocks starting in first grade (and on weekends to the playground), and now that would be neglect?! I can't believe most of the board is saying that's legitimate neglect and the children deserve to be picked up by CPS to allow young siblings to feel some freedom. To never be out of your parents watchful gaze until your 8 years old seems like a recipe for anxiety and mental health issues to me, and just hatred from your kid. My partner and I really have to think about leaving this damn town if the general consensus here would be we're bad parents and don't deserve children.

Fairfax guidelines are almost the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You risk it for a belief that hovering over your kids will do even more harm. Which I agree with. The seriously screwed up response from neighbor/police/cps might tip the scales. But should we as parents really bow to that? I'd hate to think so. Talk about bad precedents.

I think it's dumb to assume that because you walk your kids to the park you're a damaging helicopter parent. My kids are not damaged by me sitting on a bench or chatting with another parent keeping an eye on them as they play. I leave plenty of room for them to do their own thing. But they're 6 so I'm there in case of emergency.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ALSO, if the kids were kidnapped (god forbid, or any child) are you all trying to say it's the parent's fault and they then should be arrested for breaking "the law" about leaving children unattended. I'm sure that really would've helped Etan Patz's mother. Victim blaming is NOT THE SOLUTION

You mean like convicting parents that don't put their kids in car seats?

I believe if you are caught with a child not properly restrained you are hit with a traffic violation/fine, not losing custody. The point is that's WAY more dangerous and CPS is treading a very thin line here (a line which some in our society, although I guess not on this board, find very disturbing and frightening). These parents are not originally from the US. Government overreach is a legitimate thing worth fighting tooth and nail against to many world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I live in Arlington and expecting my first child soon. I find this case disturbing, regardless of the particular situation, but because it made me look up the Arlington County rules.

8 years and under : Should not be left alone for any period of time. This includes leaving children unattended in cars, playgrounds and yards.
9 to 10 years : Should not be left alone for more than 1 ½ hours and only during daylight and early evening hours.
11 to 12 years : May be left alone for up to 3 hours, but not late at night or in circumstances requiring adult supervision.
13 to 15 years : May be left unsupervised, but not overnight.
16 to 17 years : May be left unsupervised for up to two consecutive overnight periods.


Seriously, this is saying a 6 year old cannot EVER be alone, even in your own yard! It makes me anxious just thinking about it! I'm a child of the 90's. As soon as I was capable of riding a bike (at 5) I was allowed to ride to the corner and back. My mom sent me out into the yard ALL THE TIME, pretty much every day. I walked to school which was about 5 blocks starting in first grade (and on weekends to the playground), and now that would be neglect?! I can't believe most of the board is saying that's legitimate neglect and the children deserve to be picked up by CPS to allow young siblings to feel some freedom. To never be out of your parents watchful gaze until your 8 years old seems like a recipe for anxiety and mental health issues to me, and just hatred from your kid. My partner and I really have to think about leaving this damn town if the general consensus here would be we're bad parents and don't deserve children.

Fairfax guidelines are almost the same.

And I ignore them. My kids play in the yard by themselves.

We're not all as crazy as this thread might suggest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I live in Arlington and expecting my first child soon. I find this case disturbing, regardless of the particular situation, but because it made me look up the Arlington County rules.

8 years and under : Should not be left alone for any period of time. This includes leaving children unattended in cars, playgrounds and yards.
9 to 10 years : Should not be left alone for more than 1 ½ hours and only during daylight and early evening hours.
11 to 12 years : May be left alone for up to 3 hours, but not late at night or in circumstances requiring adult supervision.
13 to 15 years : May be left unsupervised, but not overnight.
16 to 17 years : May be left unsupervised for up to two consecutive overnight periods.


Seriously, this is saying a 6 year old cannot EVER be alone, even in your own yard! It makes me anxious just thinking about it! I'm a child of the 90's. As soon as I was capable of riding a bike (at 5) I was allowed to ride to the corner and back. My mom sent me out into the yard ALL THE TIME, pretty much every day. I walked to school which was about 5 blocks starting in first grade (and on weekends to the playground), and now that would be neglect?! I can't believe most of the board is saying that's legitimate neglect and the children deserve to be picked up by CPS to allow young siblings to feel some freedom. To never be out of your parents watchful gaze until your 8 years old seems like a recipe for anxiety and mental health issues to me, and just hatred from your kid. My partner and I really have to think about leaving this damn town if the general consensus here would be we're bad parents and don't deserve children.

Fairfax guidelines are almost the same.

And I ignore them. My kids play in the yard by themselves.

We're not all as crazy as this thread might suggest.

It's not against the rules to have them play in your yard by themselves as long as you keep an eye on them. I do, through the window sometimes

[Anonymous]

There's a lot of fighting here, so I'm trying to change the conversation a bit. What do you think about free range from the kids' perspective?

My thoughts are it's really driven by kid. My oldest never wanted to be alone and didn't ask for or want much freedom until MS.

My 9yo wants it desperately and wants to walk home 1 mile from school. I said he could bike, but he only wants to walk. But, for me the problem is that nobody else walks that far. But it's a battle with him.

So, I feel like free range parenting works based on individual kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I live in Arlington and expecting my first child soon. I find this case disturbing, regardless of the particular situation, but because it made me look up the Arlington County rules.

8 years and under : Should not be left alone for any period of time. This includes leaving children unattended in cars, playgrounds and yards.
9 to 10 years : Should not be left alone for more than 1 ½ hours and only during daylight and early evening hours.
11 to 12 years : May be left alone for up to 3 hours, but not late at night or in circumstances requiring adult supervision.
13 to 15 years : May be left unsupervised, but not overnight.
16 to 17 years : May be left unsupervised for up to two consecutive overnight periods.


Seriously, this is saying a 6 year old cannot EVER be alone, even in your own yard! It makes me anxious just thinking about it! I'm a child of the 90's. As soon as I was capable of riding a bike (at 5) I was allowed to ride to the corner and back. My mom sent me out into the yard ALL THE TIME, pretty much every day. I walked to school which was about 5 blocks starting in first grade (and on weekends to the playground), and now that would be neglect?! I can't believe most of the board is saying that's legitimate neglect and the children deserve to be picked up by CPS to allow young siblings to feel some freedom. To never be out of your parents watchful gaze until your 8 years old seems like a recipe for anxiety and mental health issues to me, and just hatred from your kid. My partner and I really have to think about leaving this damn town if the general consensus here would be we're bad parents and don't deserve children.

Fairfax guidelines are almost the same.

And I ignore them. My kids play in the yard by themselves.

We're not all as crazy as this thread might suggest.

Your kid is not going to be picked up for playing in your yard alone. They might, however, be picked up if they are crossing major roads alone to a park 1/4 mile away after CPS told you not to let them do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I live in Arlington and expecting my first child soon. I find this case disturbing, regardless of the particular situation, but because it made me look up the Arlington County rules.

8 years and under : Should not be left alone for any period of time. This includes leaving children unattended in cars, playgrounds and yards.
9 to 10 years : Should not be left alone for more than 1 ½ hours and only during daylight and early evening hours.
11 to 12 years : May be left alone for up to 3 hours, but not late at night or in circumstances requiring adult supervision.
13 to 15 years : May be left unsupervised, but not overnight.
16 to 17 years : May be left unsupervised for up to two consecutive overnight periods.


Seriously, this is saying a 6 year old cannot EVER be alone, even in your own yard! It makes me anxious just thinking about it! I'm a child of the 90's. As soon as I was capable of riding a bike (at 5) I was allowed to ride to the corner and back. My mom sent me out into the yard ALL THE TIME, pretty much every day. I walked to school which was about 5 blocks starting in first grade (and on weekends to the playground), and now that would be neglect?! I can't believe most of the board is saying that's legitimate neglect and the children deserve to be picked up by CPS to allow young siblings to feel some freedom. To never be out of your parents watchful gaze until your 8 years old seems like a recipe for anxiety and mental health issues to me, and just hatred from your kid. My partner and I really have to think about leaving this damn town if the general consensus here would be we're bad parents and don't deserve children.

Fairfax guidelines are almost the same.

And I ignore them. My kids play in the yard by themselves.

We're not all as crazy as this thread might suggest.

It's not against the rules to have them play in your yard by themselves as long as you keep an eye on them. I do, through the window sometimes

"watchful gaze"... I think YOU might have anxiety issues. Yes, they can be in the basement or another room, in their bedroom, in your yard. Tell them to stay out of the car/trunk on hot days though... just watch... it will be on the news in a matter of weeks, kid hides in family car/trunk and dies.

[Anonymous]

Ugh, these rants about what people used to be allowed to do as kids or complaining about the laws are so tiresome. You can either (1) actually advocate for change in the law in a forum (your elected representatives etc.) that might make some difference; or (2) move someplace where the law is different. All this expression of indignation about what people used to do back in the 1970s vs. the situation now is just useless complaining.

[Anonymous]

Can someone explain why CPS didn't try to contact the parents immediately? And is there a particular neighbor who is suspected of instigating this? For the record, I used to live in the area and don't consider their choice particularly wise, but CPS must have known who these kids were the second time they picked them up and exactly what was going on. Hell, anyone who listens to NPR would have known what was going on and why these kids were not accompanied, right or wrong.

[Anonymous]

The parents are traumatizing these kids by being rigid with this fight. They would rather take a stand, despite being told it is frowned upon by the police and subjecting their children to being detained by the police and CPS. Their children will probably grow up to be anti-government radicals or worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's a lot of fighting here, so I'm trying to change the conversation a bit. What do you think about free range from the kids' perspective?

My thoughts are it's really driven by kid. My oldest never wanted to be alone and didn't ask for or want much freedom until MS.

My 9yo wants it desperately and wants to walk home 1 mile from school. I said he could bike, but he only wants to walk. But, for me the problem is that nobody else walks that far. But it's a battle with him.

So, I feel like free range parenting works based on individual kids.

For kids #1 I would find ways for him/her to become more independent ... he/she needs to learn to be alone and do things himself/herself. A slow and stead approach. You don't want college to be the first time they sleep away.

For the 9yo I would do whatever the laws allow.

Just remember we work so hard on letting our little ones/middle school kids be alone and independent... then HS hits and bam! where are you? who are you with? does the basement have alcohol? is it locked up? are the parents there?

kids start doing drug 8th-11th grade.... so freedom is given freely then often taken away in 1 bong hit

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can someone explain why CPS didn't try to contact the parents immediately? And is there a particular neighbor who is suspected of instigating this? For the record, I used to live in the area and don't consider their choice particularly wise, but CPS must have known who these kids were the second time they picked them up and exactly what was going on. Hell, anyone who listens to NPR would have known what was going on and why these kids were not accompanied, right or wrong.

UMMM! Yea.. .these are the only kids that live in SS that CPS deals with. A whole department dedicated to free range kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's a lot of fighting here, so I'm trying to change the conversation a bit. What do you think about free range from the kids' perspective?

My thoughts are it's really driven by kid. My oldest never wanted to be alone and didn't ask for or want much freedom until MS.

My 9yo wants it desperately and wants to walk home 1 mile from school. I said he could bike, but he only wants to walk. But, for me the problem is that nobody else walks that far. But it's a battle with him.

So, I feel like free range parenting works based on individual kids.

For kids #1 I would find ways for him/her to become more independent ... he/she needs to learn to be alone and do things himself/herself. A slow and stead approach. You don't want college to be the first time they sleep away.

For the 9yo I would do whatever the laws allow.

Just remember we work so hard on letting our little ones/middle school kids be alone and independent... then HS hits and bam! where are you? who are you with? does the basement have alcohol? is it locked up? are the parents there?

kids start doing drug 8th-11th grade.... so freedom is given freely then often taken away in 1 bong hit

Actually ... for the 9yo, i have a personal rule that you don't walk alone, you walk friends home, etc. That is up to you. I started this rule in college when my friend was attacked walking home from the library. I teach it to my children, they always walk a friend home. Sometimes if they must walk alone, they call me when they leave and I know when to expect them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I live in Arlington and expecting my first child soon. I find this case disturbing, regardless of the particular situation, but because it made me look up the Arlington County rules.

8 years and under : Should not be left alone for any period of time. This includes leaving children unattended in cars, playgrounds and yards.
9 to 10 years : Should not be left alone for more than 1 ½ hours and only during daylight and early evening hours.
11 to 12 years : May be left alone for up to 3 hours, but not late at night or in circumstances requiring adult supervision.
13 to 15 years : May be left unsupervised, but not overnight.
16 to 17 years : May be left unsupervised for up to two consecutive overnight periods.


Seriously, this is saying a 6 year old cannot EVER be alone, even in your own yard! It makes me anxious just thinking about it! I'm a child of the 90's. As soon as I was capable of riding a bike (at 5) I was allowed to ride to the corner and back. My mom sent me out into the yard ALL THE TIME, pretty much every day. I walked to school which was about 5 blocks starting in first grade (and on weekends to the playground), and now that would be neglect?! I can't believe most of the board is saying that's legitimate neglect and the children deserve to be picked up by CPS to allow young siblings to feel some freedom. To never be out of your parents watchful gaze until your 8 years old seems like a recipe for anxiety and mental health issues to me, and just hatred from your kid. My partner and I really have to think about leaving this damn town if the general consensus here would be we're bad parents and don't deserve children.

Fairfax guidelines are almost the same.

And I ignore them. My kids play in the yard by themselves.

We're not all as crazy as this thread might suggest.

It's not against the rules to have them play in your yard by themselves as long as you keep an eye on them. I do, through the window sometimes

"watchful gaze"... I think YOU might have anxiety issues. Yes, they can be in the basement or another room, in their bedroom, in your yard. Tell them to stay out of the car/trunk on hot days though... just watch... it will be on the news in a matter of weeks, kid hides in family car/trunk and dies.

Oh definitely. Because I watch my 6 and 4 year old kids play in the backyard while I make dinner I have anxiety issues. Makes sense.