is it ok to lie about the number of men youve been with?

[Anonymous]

I've been with my husband for 5 years now married for the last two. As with any relationship the question of our sexual pasts came up quite early on and I was not exactly truthful with him about how many men I have slept with. At the time I didn't think it was a big deal but as time goes on I worry about how he might react if the truth ever came out.

[Anonymous]

Are you faithful to your husband? Were you honest about any STDs? Then I don't think it's a big deal. Just remember the number you told him.

[Anonymous]

Not a big deal, assuming you took reasonable precautions and had STD testing.

[Anonymous]

How would this truth even come out? Little too late to be worried about your spouses sex partners, once you all are married. My husband and I ever never asked each other a number. I don't get why people need to know that.

[Anonymous]

So strange these scenarios. I've been married since 1998 and my husband has never asked how many people I've slept with and I've never asked him. It's so irrelevant to us it just never comes up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So strange these scenarios. I've been married since 1998 and my husband has never asked how many people I've slept with and I've never asked him. It's so irrelevant to us it just never comes up.

would it change your opinion of him if you found out he had sex with 35 different women over the course of 35 days?

sexual behavior is a character trait and should be disclosed in my opinion

[Anonymous]

When you say you are worried about how he might react, do you mean you are afraid of loss of love? Violence?

The truth "coming out" is that you are a mature woman who had a sexual past. That's the truth here. What about that truth is your husband unable to handle?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So strange these scenarios. I've been married since 1998 and my husband has never asked how many people I've slept with and I've never asked him. It's so irrelevant to us it just never comes up.

would it change your opinion of him if you found out he had sex with 35 different women over the course of 35 days?

sexual behavior is a character trait and should be disclosed in my opinion

Meh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So strange these scenarios. I've been married since 1998 and my husband has never asked how many people I've slept with and I've never asked him. It's so irrelevant to us it just never comes up.

would it change your opinion of him if you found out he had sex with 35 different women over the course of 35 days?

sexual behavior is a character trait and should be disclosed in my opinion

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been with my husband for 5 years now married for the last two. As with any relationship the question of our sexual pasts came up quite early on and I was not exactly truthful with him about how many men I have slept with. At the time I didn't think it was a big deal but as time goes on I worry about how he might react if the truth ever came out.

Why? Are you afraid he'll call you a filthy slut?

[Anonymous]

Yes under the circumstances it is ok. Let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you faithful to your husband? Were you honest about any STDs? Then I don't think it's a big deal. Just remember the number you told him.

Curious why you'd recommend the latter. Is this the type of conversation that comes up between spouses more than, say, once?

[Anonymous]

Why would this even come up again? My husband and I had the conversation when we first started dating seriously. It's been 10 years and I don't even remember what number he told me nor do I care? Leave it alone. You will just make him mad. What can he do about it now- divorce you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you faithful to your husband? Were you honest about any STDs? Then I don't think it's a big deal. Just remember the number you told him.

Curious why you'd recommend the latter. Is this the type of conversation that comes up between spouses more than, say, once?

Because they've already discussed it, OP gave him a fake number, and now she's worried about him finding out her number is different. If she told him 2 and her number is 52, she should come clean or remember the fake number for future discussions.

I have no idea how frequently it comes up in their life. It's not something I repeatedly discuss with my husband, no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been with my husband for 5 years now married for the last two. As with any relationship the question of our sexual pasts came up quite early on and I was not exactly truthful with him about how many men I have slept with. At the time I didn't think it was a big deal but as time goes on I worry about how he might react if the truth ever came out.

Why? Are you afraid he'll call you a filthy slut?

actually, then she would be a slut and a liar