How upset would you be with your spouse if they did this?
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Anonymous
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So, this morning I'm in the shower. Husband pokes his head in, and says "DS is screaming his head off". I'm like, okay...I'm in the shower, can you go get him? 30 seconds later, husband opens the door again, tosses the baby monitor on the counter, and proceeds to go back to bed. I'm hurriedly trying to wash the shampoo out of my hair and dry off and get dressed, while listening to DS screaming his head off. I get out of the bathroom, and on my way to get DS, I say to husband, who is in bed, "Thanks, great parenting there". He tells me to shut up and stop being such a b*tch. WTF. I'm not even mad at him so much as I'm despairingly disapointed. Before we had DS, he promosed to step up and share in the parenting. He never really has. He's never gotten up with DS in the morning, and won't get up after he's gone to sleep....but I figured he would if he had to due to me being unavailable. Apparently, I was wrong.
He calls me every day when he wakes up (around 11am), and I just don't even think I can answer his call. I have no desire to speak with him at all. Am I overreacting? Should I just suck it up and chalk it up to that I'm the mom, and mom's just have to do way more of the childcare than the dads are willing to do? |
Anonymous
| You are not overreacting. He is being an asshole. I would be livid. |
Anonymous
| I'm just so disapointed in him, I can't even be mad. I can't even express really what I'm feeling. I'm just so sad for DS. |
Anonymous
| Your husband is a jackass. My husband would never do something like that--he comforts our daughter even when I'm not in the shower. Because he loves her, and he wants to be an involved father. You need counseling--marital if he'll go, individual if he won't. |
Anonymous
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Does he work nights or something? Why is he sleeping until 11am?
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Anonymous
No, chalk it up to the fact you were dumb enough to marry & procreate with an asshole. |
Anonymous
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OMG - the shower is the one place I refuse to have screaming kids. Mine are older now, but they get in big trouble if they come in and upset my 10 minutes of quiet time in the shower!! Next time, just turn the monitor off and continue with your shower.
But ... I'm not sure how you'll be able to continue parenting with this guy. Why is he getting up at 11am? Does he do shift work? |
Anonymous
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OP here, he doesn't do shift work. He works/commutes from noon to 5pm. I work/commute from 7am to 6pm.
My hopes in him are just crushed. I cannot believe I trusted him and had a baby with him. |
Anonymous
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You are not overreacting. Don't answer his call.
Give yourself time to cool off. He can't think everything is just going to be a-ok after that bullcrap. |
Anonymous
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Time for a sit down talk to address this issue, which is huge!!! Why can't he do the morning shift if he only works from noon to 5pm? Really??? this is a huge problem.
My DH travels a lot and every chance he gets he does shower/bath time with the boys and walks them to school like today when his flight was cancelled. |
Anonymous
You are not overreacting. I, like you, would be so far beyond mad, that I wouldn't even be mad. I'd be so sad and disappointed that I was stuck with someone who is an apparent loser, and so unwilling to pitch in. I'd be really devastated and hurt and sad. 
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Anonymous
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who does childcare from 7am til 12:00?
and what kind of job does he have that is only 5 hours per day total with commute? |
Anonymous
I drop DS off at daycare on the way to work. Before we had DS, we agreed that husband would do the drop-off on his way to work, since he gets up so much later. But, after DS was born, he refused. He walks dogs. |
Anonymous
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so you guys pay for him to sleep in until 11am every day?
how old is he? what is his job? does he make much more money than you? |
Anonymous
| What would happen if you left the baby with him in the mornings? Do you feel that's safe? |