Religious families-Do your children easily love God?

[Anonymous]

I don't have kids, and this question has been on my mind for a little bit. Parents who go to church, or any other spiritual gathering, do you have to try hard to get your little ones interested? Are they enthusiastic about the whole "God" thing?

[Anonymous]

This is big problem for me. My sons are middle schoolers. I am devout. They cannot stand going to church. They also loathe the religious education classes they attend. It is all too "boring" for them. It affects our Sundays in a negative way that bothers me.

I've tried everything to get a spark of actual faith in them, the kind I see in others their age. It hasn't happened yet. I'm sorta at the point now that I've just taken the postiion with them that "It isn't about you. We go to church to worship God. It would be wonderful for you to have a nice warm fuzzy feeling when you are there, but we are going even if you don't." If it matters, I am a parent who relates very well to my kids, but not at all on this issue.

So, yeah...this is hard in my house.

[Anonymous]

The only way I've figured out how to do it is to have my child attend Catholic school. Honestly. I did, and I was surrounded by a community who had the same beliefs we did. It was an every day, 24-7 sort of thing, not some boring thing that we attended for one hour every week, under duress. Also, in school, they weave all the religious lessons into everything, so again, it's not set aside as one boring hour a week when you have to go to CCD with kids you do not even know, who do not go to your regular school. So, in sum, religious is just kind of always there, ever present, the rhythm of our lives and the background music, so to speak. It's not some boring awful thing I have to create all by myself for my kids, b/c I have a community of helpers helping me create it.

Before my DD started K at our parochial, I was where you are, b/c she went to a secular daycare and I was like, "Honestly, we cannot even bring in a dippy little kid's book for Show and Tell that talks about Jesus being born in a manger???" b/c this would offend some people. I felt like I was raising a wolf-child, haha. It's been a world of difference once she has been in the parochial school, for only 4 months now, but, whew, what a world of difference, and it's sooo much easier on me b/c I don't have to try to do all of this by myself!

[Anonymous]

Good point. It takes a village and all that...

I have always tried to make our faith something that is not just on Sunday. Our parish is absolutely gigantic (one of the five largest in the US) and because of that size it can be difficult to connect with others. We attend the same mass every week, sit in the same pew every week, and rarely do I recognize anyone around us. Maybe 25 % of the people around me make an effort to sing the hymns.

I have gotten involved in numerous ministries to try to "shrink" the size of the parish. But that doesn't actually translate to my kids. I have taught faith formation for both and I know that my classes are very well received by the kids (I have significant positive feedback from parents, etc). But my own kids are just...i don't know...disconnected or something. Our priests are, in general, not really good homilists. So I totally get that they are bored out of their minds at church. I was too at their age, but there is a significant difference between me at their age and they way my kids are.

Part of the problem is definitely my parish, but I think part of it is within my sons too.

[Anonymous]

The greatest thing you can do, IMO, is keep strong the domestic church in your home. Live by example be open to talking with your children and taking an interest in them, not just religiously. Build strong connections, create a foundation of love. Pray for them regularly. Keep God in their world so He doesn't seem like a foreign concept if they find themselves seeking Him or wondering more about Him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The greatest thing you can do, IMO, is keep strong the domestic church in your home. Live by example be open to talking with your children and taking an interest in them, not just religiously. Build strong connections, create a foundation of love. Pray for them regularly. Keep God in their world so He doesn't seem like a foreign concept if they find themselves seeking Him or wondering more about Him.

08:31 back. I would agree with this answer, but I admit that it is hard, a lot of hard work. Does your spouse help you with this, OP? It can even be harder if it's just you and not our spouse, I think. Honestly, our decision to send DD to Catholic school was born not out of a sense that we ourselves are uber-religious, but with an awareness of our weakness, our inability to create all this community and love for God and His Church by ourselves. I think it is very, very hard, and I commend you for being as proactive as you have been. Here is one other thought: pray about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good point. It takes a village and all that...

I have always tried to make our faith something that is not just on Sunday. Our parish is absolutely gigantic (one of the five largest in the US) and because of that size it can be difficult to connect with others. We attend the same mass every week, sit in the same pew every week, and rarely do I recognize anyone around us. Maybe 25 % of the people around me make an effort to sing the hymns.

I have gotten involved in numerous ministries to try to "shrink" the size of the parish. But that doesn't actually translate to my kids. I have taught faith formation for both and I know that my classes are very well received by the kids (I have significant positive feedback from parents, etc). But my own kids are just...i don't know...disconnected or something. Our priests are, in general, not really good homilists. So I totally get that they are bored out of their minds at church. I was too at their age, but there is a significant difference between me at their age and they way my kids are.

Part of the problem is definitely my parish, but I think part of it is within my sons too.

08:31 back again. It does sound like the parish size is not helping much either. I am sorry. I know how you feel b/c we ourselves are part of a big parish (St. Joe's in Herndon). Until we were in the school community, I felt like we were anonymous and a #, and I still am working on building community there after DD being in school since Sept.

Have you thought about looking into other parishes? Attending Mass elsewhere? Where are you located?

[Anonymous]

My children attend a motesorri religion program called Cathechesis of the Good Shepherd. The classroom setting is called the Atrium, so many people refer to it as that. My children have developed a relationship with the Lord at a very young age. it's much more personal than the classroom religious ed programs. http://www.cgsusa.org/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My children attend a motesorri religion program called Cathechesis of the Good Shepherd. The classroom setting is called the Atrium, so many people refer to it as that. My children have developed a relationship with the Lord at a very young age. it's much more personal than the classroom religious ed programs. http://www.cgsusa.org/

08:31 back. I know that St. Catherine's in Great Falls has this program ^^, but I do not have any personal experience with it at all. It also sounds like the OP's kids are too old for this, but, maybe I am wrong. Or, at the very least, maybe this info would be helpful to others just reading along!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My children attend a motesorri religion program called Cathechesis of the Good Shepherd. The classroom setting is called the Atrium, so many people refer to it as that. My children have developed a relationship with the Lord at a very young age. it's much more personal than the classroom religious ed programs. http://www.cgsusa.org/

08:31 back. I know that St. Catherine's in Great Falls has this program ^^, but I do not have any personal experience with it at all. It also sounds like the OP's kids are too old for this, but, maybe I am wrong. Or, at the very least, maybe this info would be helpful to others just reading along!

This program is for children 3 -12 years. I think the original poster said s/he did not have kids. But my heart does go out the the parent of the middle schoolers who dislike attending mass. I remember being at that stage and being forced to attend mass. There was never an excuse not to go in my house growing up unless you were really, really sick. But when I got to college, I went to church on my own because that was the only thing that was "like home" to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My children attend a motesorri religion program called Cathechesis of the Good Shepherd. The classroom setting is called the Atrium, so many people refer to it as that. My children have developed a relationship with the Lord at a very young age. it's much more personal than the classroom religious ed programs. http://www.cgsusa.org/

08:31 back. I know that St. Catherine's in Great Falls has this program ^^, but I do not have any personal experience with it at all. It also sounds like the OP's kids are too old for this, but, maybe I am wrong. Or, at the very least, maybe this info would be helpful to others just reading along!

This program is for children 3 -12 years. I think the original poster said s/he did not have kids. But my heart does go out the the parent of the middle schoolers who dislike attending mass. I remember being at that stage and being forced to attend mass. There was never an excuse not to go in my house growing up unless you were really, really sick. But when I got to college, I went to church on my own because that was the only thing that was "like home" to me.

OH, I'm sorry. I got the OP and the 7:15 poster mixed up in my head. Sorry about that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The greatest thing you can do, IMO, is keep strong the domestic church in your home. Live by example be open to talking with your children and taking an interest in them, not just religiously. Build strong connections, create a foundation of love. Pray for them regularly. Keep God in their world so He doesn't seem like a foreign concept if they find themselves seeking Him or wondering more about Him.

08:31 back. I would agree with this answer, but I admit that it is hard, a lot of hard work. Does your spouse help you with this, OP? It can even be harder if it's just you and not our spouse, I think. Honestly, our decision to send DD to Catholic school was born not out of a sense that we ourselves are uber-religious, but with an awareness of our weakness, our inability to create all this community and love for God and His Church by ourselves. I think it is very, very hard, and I commend you for being as proactive as you have been. Here is one other thought: pray about it.

I do.

I pray every single day about this. Generally that prayer is along the lines of "God, please give the gift of faith to ______ and ______. Let them know the joy of a strong relationship with you...etc." One of these days I'm bound to get an affirmative answer!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The greatest thing you can do, IMO, is keep strong the domestic church in your home. Live by example be open to talking with your children and taking an interest in them, not just religiously. Build strong connections, create a foundation of love. Pray for them regularly. Keep God in their world so He doesn't seem like a foreign concept if they find themselves seeking Him or wondering more about Him.

08:31 back. I would agree with this answer, but I admit that it is hard, a lot of hard work. Does your spouse help you with this, OP? It can even be harder if it's just you and not our spouse, I think. Honestly, our decision to send DD to Catholic school was born not out of a sense that we ourselves are uber-religious, but with an awareness of our weakness, our inability to create all this community and love for God and His Church by ourselves. I think it is very, very hard, and I commend you for being as proactive as you have been. Here is one other thought: pray about it.

I do.

I pray every single day about this. Generally that prayer is along the lines of "God, please give the gift of faith to ______ and ______. Let them know the joy of a strong relationship with you...etc." One of these days I'm bound to get an affirmative answer!

That's good! Remember the story of ST. Monica, who prayed fervently for her son St. Augustine, that he would get the gift of faith too! Maybe pray to St. Monica!

[Anonymous]

Our parish family ministry is focused on the idea that to develop and sustain faith, you need roughly five adults (who are not you) pouring into & interacting with your child on a regular basis. I think the concept comes from a series of books called Orange & Parenting Beyond Your Capacity. This could be Sunday School teachers, scout leaders, your own friends, a youth minister, other adult volunteers with youth ministry, sports coaches who model good values, etc. Our youth minister also really emphasizes how much time children spend with parents vs. the church - we can't expect our churches to do all of this spiritual development. Even if you're there for three events/week (unlikely for most families), that's only six hours out of the many more that parents spend with their kids. So talking about faith & modeling it at home is the first step, and then finding a community that will support and your sustain your efforts is the next most important thing.

I have a young child at this point, so it's easier talking about faith with her at this stage of life. It permeates our home life -- prayer before meals, prayers to help not be scared or to calm down, thanking God each night for the day we had (both special things and the mundane). And also being really honest when hard questions come up about death, afterlife, etc.

[Anonymous]

I take my children to Church and hope they get something out of it. My younger child reads comic books in church, while the older ones sit and listen, but tell me they don't like going. I just take them, and hope for the best. You can't force belief on anyone, even your beloved children. I don't want them to feel out in the cold and alone when they face a crisis some day -- I want them to have a spiritual home where they will feel accepted and nurtured, and I don't want that "home" to be some sort of cult or fundamentalist church that preys on emotional adolescents. Faith is so personal, OP. Each person finds his or her own in their own good time. I'm simply providing a framework for my children, information and spiritual guidance. They will make their own decisions when they are ready.