sad about lack of extended family

[Anonymous]

I come from a small family. I have 4 children, but neither of my siblings are married or with children (one reason I had so many kids).
My husband has one sib who lives far away.
I feel sad that we don't have a house full of cousins and aunts, uncles. Seems so lonely.
Our friends are all busy with their extended families; otherwise we'd host them.
Just venting. Maybe someone else has same experience?

[Anonymous]

Read the threads about people who are sick of having guests and assorted extended family in their homes for days/ weeks at a time, and change your perspective.

[Anonymous]

Do you resent your siblings for not marrying or having children, and show it? Your kids have aunts/uncles in your siblings - what about them? But yes, I agree with PP - please try to be grateful for what you do have.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why you decided to have a bunch of. Kids because your ssiblings didn't. Were you worried the world would be underpopulated?

[Anonymous]

Its okay to be sad OP. Sadness doesn't mean you aren't accepting the reality of your situation, it is just how you feel about it. Enjoy the family you have and extend your family through friends.

[Anonymous]

Similar experience and I feel sad about it from time to time too.

I focus on the fact that we have started a family that will build upon itself and I will leave to future generations a larger, extended family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I come from a small family. I have 4 children, but neither of my siblings are married or with children (one reason I had so many kids).
My husband has one sib who lives far away.
I feel sad that we don't have a house full of cousins and aunts, uncles. Seems so lonely.
Our friends are all busy with their extended families; otherwise we'd host them.
Just venting. Maybe someone else has same experience?

Just me and my kid. I have two relatives coming to see the kid.

[Anonymous]

I have the same feelings, especially around holidays. Watching Christmas movies and seeing the house full of people for parties. Or hearing about large gatherings at a beach or lake house during the summer with tons of kids running around.

But I know the downsides of a larger extended family, especially if you all live near each other, is the never-ending obligations to participate in family events.

Still though, I long for it. I think it's only natural because like anything else, life is more fun when experienced with other people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why you decided to have a bunch of. Kids because your ssiblings didn't. Were you worried the world would be underpopulated?

Trolly Polly you are failing at your task. Typos and all.

[Anonymous]

I have one brother who has issues, so it would probably not be good if he had children. Otherwise, one in-law who lives 3 hours away, with one child, and both my one parent and my husband's parents are in other countries. So, I know what it is like to be rather alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Read the threads about people who are sick of having guests and assorted extended family in their homes for days/ weeks at a time, and change your perspective.

Not all of us hate hosting our families. Just a few vocal ones on here. I love my family and feel very sad for people like the OP.

[Anonymous]

OP I feel sad about this too. I'm an only child, with no family in the area, and my parents live 4000 miles away. I only see them once a year. DH has two siblings, one who is estranged and one who he doesn't get along with. Neither of his siblings have kids. His parents are divorced, live 2000 miles away, and we don't see them often (he has a very dysfunctional family).

We spend every holiday alone, just the two of us, and it's very, very lonely. This year for Thanksgiving we just made a nice, regular dinner for the two of us and watched a movie at home. I do have extended family, but they live all over the place, mainly on the West Coast, and the closest kin I have is in the midwest. Unfortunately my extended family isn't interested in a relationship with me. DH isn't really close with any of his extended family either, and they all live thousands of miles away. We'll never have a week at the beach with family, or spend holidays with family, and it makes me really sad. We are expecting our first baby, and it makes me sad that baby will not have any cousins, or a close relationship with any aunts/uncles, and will only see his grandparents once a year. I am hoping we can make friends who are like family here, but we are not from this area and it has been really hard making friends so far as a married couple without kids. When we do have our baby we won't have any visitors, and we will have no help the first few weeks from close friends or family. It's very isolating.

[Anonymous]

I'm like you OP---one sibling and my husband has one sibling and neither is married or has children. The only thing is that I'm also struggling with infertility and can't seem to have kids of my own despite trying for years and doing IVF. So please, count your blessings. Being able to have 4 children and create your own nuclear family is a HUGE blessing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm like you OP---one sibling and my husband has one sibling and neither is married or has children. The only thing is that I'm also struggling with infertility and can't seem to have kids of my own despite trying for years and doing IVF. So please, count your blessings. Being able to have 4 children and create your own nuclear family is a HUGE blessing.

Just let OPs story be her story. She is allowed to feel sad about her own situation. No need to try and one up her with your woe-is-me story. It isn't a competition - everyone has their own struggles and their own feelings. If you want to post about being sad about your infertility - go create a thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm like you OP---one sibling and my husband has one sibling and neither is married or has children. The only thing is that I'm also struggling with infertility and can't seem to have kids of my own despite trying for years and doing IVF. So please, count your blessings. Being able to have 4 children and create your own nuclear family is a HUGE blessing.

OP here. Thank you for posting this. l feel like a jerk for my original post. I am so sorry you are struggling with infertility. I wish you much luck in growing your family. Sometimes one needs a kick in the rear to gain some perspective.