Three years, mutual cheating, she won't end it: how to handle?

[Anonymous]

My best friend has been dating the same guy for three years. She found out he was cheating on her in the second year, decided she didn't respect him, and cheated on him in return. They both just kept being unfaithful. I kept telling her to break it off, but she kept crying and saying she loved him. Now I am getting the feeling that he's about to dump her, which will suck - she should be doing the dumping.

My best friend is hot, smart, successful and seems very strong in other ways, while her boyfriend is below her league in every department and doesn't have a job. How do these relationships happen? More importantly, how do I pull her out of this toxic mess with her dignity intact?

Is it a sign of lack of maturity that she just kept cheating on him in revenge without breaking up?

[Anonymous]

She's not as smart as you think she is. In fact, she sounds like a real ninny.

[Anonymous]

This girl sounds like she lacks self-esteem. There are plenty of hot, smart, successful girls who lack self-esteem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My best friend has been dating the same guy for three years. She found out he was cheating on her in the second year, decided she didn't respect him, and cheated on him in return. They both just kept being unfaithful. I kept telling her to break it off, but she kept crying and saying she loved him. Now I am getting the feeling that he's about to dump her, which will suck - she should be doing the dumping.

My best friend is hot, smart, successful and seems very strong in other ways, while her boyfriend is below her league in every department and doesn't have a job. How do these relationships happen? More importantly, how do I pull her out of this toxic mess with her dignity intact?

Is it a sign of lack of maturity that she just kept cheating on him in revenge without breaking up?

It's a sign she's a terrible person. "smart" and "successful" don't make a great girlfriend, they make a great boyfriend/husband. Is your friend masculine?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My best friend has been dating the same guy for three years. She found out he was cheating on her in the second year, decided she didn't respect him, and cheated on him in return. They both just kept being unfaithful. I kept telling her to break it off, but she kept crying and saying she loved him. Now I am getting the feeling that he's about to dump her, which will suck - she should be doing the dumping.

My best friend is hot, smart, successful and seems very strong in other ways, while her boyfriend is below her league in every department and doesn't have a job. How do these relationships happen? More importantly, how do I pull her out of this toxic mess with her dignity intact?

Is it a sign of lack of maturity that she just kept cheating on him in revenge without breaking up?

It's a sign she's a terrible person. "smart" and "successful" don't make a great girlfriend, they make a great boyfriend/husband. Is your friend masculine?

WTF is this bullshit?

[Anonymous]

Why in god's name is this your business?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This girl sounds like she lacks self-esteem. There are plenty of hot, smart, successful girls who lack self-esteem.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why in god's name is this your business?

+ 1. Why get caught up in your friend's flare for drama. She sounds like a train wreck. Stay clear of her business or you may end up as collateral damage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My best friend has been dating the same guy for three years. She found out he was cheating on her in the second year, decided she didn't respect him, and cheated on him in return. They both just kept being unfaithful. I kept telling her to break it off, but she kept crying and saying she loved him. Now I am getting the feeling that he's about to dump her, which will suck - she should be doing the dumping.

My best friend is hot, smart, successful and seems very strong in other ways, while her boyfriend is below her league in every department and doesn't have a job. How do these relationships happen? More importantly, how do I pull her out of this toxic mess with her dignity intact?

Is it a sign of lack of maturity that she just kept cheating on him in revenge without breaking up?

Why they hell are you so invested and involved in their relationship? Jesus. MYOB.

[Anonymous]

Why would you possibly think it's your job to "pull her out of this with her dignity intact?" Run your own race, dear.

[Anonymous]

Ignore the rude posters. You seem like a great friend! Thing is, she's not really gonna listen to anyone. I would just continue to nod and smile and listen to her as a friend. Be supportive! Good friends are hard to find honestly. She will either stay with him or end it eventually. I would just concentrate on your friendship, have a great time with her, do some girls nights out. Things will work themselves out at some point, just be a good friend. If you feel like it's bothering you too much - like she is not being a good friend back - then maybe you can take a step back to get your bearings straight. Otherwise I would just stay out of it, and don't talk bad about her man either. It puts you in a bad position and even though he sucks you telling her won't make her listen. She'll hopefully see it on her own soon enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My best friend has been dating the same guy for three years. She found out he was cheating on her in the second year, decided she didn't respect him, and cheated on him in return. They both just kept being unfaithful. I kept telling her to break it off, but she kept crying and saying she loved him. Now I am getting the feeling that he's about to dump her, which will suck - she should be doing the dumping.

My best friend is hot, smart, successful and seems very strong in other ways, while her boyfriend is below her league in every department and doesn't have a job. How do these relationships happen? More importantly, how do I pull her out of this toxic mess with her dignity intact?

Is it a sign of lack of maturity that she just kept cheating on him in revenge without breaking up?

It's a sign she's a terrible person. "smart" and "successful" don't make a great girlfriend, they make a great boyfriend/husband. Is your friend masculine?

WTF is this bullshit?

i agree with this above.

i think women way over estimate how much men value "smart and successful" in a woman.

i'd rather have sweet, nice, easy going, sexual and loyal any day over "smart and successful"

[Anonymous]

Shes "hot, smart and successful" but wastes it all due to being a terrible person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My best friend has been dating the same guy for three years. She found out he was cheating on her in the second year, decided she didn't respect him, and cheated on him in return. They both just kept being unfaithful. I kept telling her to break it off, but she kept crying and saying she loved him. Now I am getting the feeling that he's about to dump her, which will suck - she should be doing the dumping.

My best friend is hot, smart, successful and seems very strong in other ways, while her boyfriend is below her league in every department and doesn't have a job. How do these relationships happen? More importantly, how do I pull her out of this toxic mess with her dignity intact?

Is it a sign of lack of maturity that she just kept cheating on him in revenge without breaking up?

You don't. Your friend is a grown up. If she chooses to stay with someone who treats her poorly, if her reaction to being treated poorly is to behave equally badly, and if she chooses to stay in this relationship despite all indicators (and your advice) then you leave it alone.

You can be there for her when things fall apart (if they do, and if you choose to) but you cannot make a grown-up behave according to what you think is best. You are wasting your time and energy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My best friend has been dating the same guy for three years. She found out he was cheating on her in the second year, decided she didn't respect him, and cheated on him in return. They both just kept being unfaithful. I kept telling her to break it off, but she kept crying and saying she loved him. Now I am getting the feeling that he's about to dump her, which will suck - she should be doing the dumping.

My best friend is hot, smart, successful and seems very strong in other ways, while her boyfriend is below her league in every department and doesn't have a job. How do these relationships happen? More importantly, how do I pull her out of this toxic mess with her dignity intact?

Is it a sign of lack of maturity that she just kept cheating on him in revenge without breaking up?

It's a sign she's a terrible person. "smart" and "successful" don't make a great girlfriend, they make a great boyfriend/husband. Is your friend masculine?

WTF is this bullshit?

i agree with this above.

i think women way over estimate how much men value "smart and successful" in a woman.

i'd rather have sweet, nice, easy going, sexual and loyal any day over "smart and successful"

Strong women threaten you?