Reply to Three years, mutual cheating, she won't end it: how to handle?

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Reply to "Three years, mutual cheating, she won't end it: how to handle?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My best friend has been dating the same guy for three years. She found out he was cheating on her in the second year, decided she didn't respect him, and cheated on him in return. They both just kept being unfaithful. I kept telling her to break it off, but she kept crying and saying she loved him. Now I am getting the feeling that he's about to dump her, which will suck - she should be doing the dumping.

My best friend is hot, smart, successful and seems very strong in other ways, while her boyfriend is below her league in every department and doesn't have a job. How do these relationships happen? [b]More importantly, how do I pull her out of this toxic mess with her dignity intact? 
[/b]
Is it a sign of lack of maturity that she just kept cheating on him in revenge without breaking up?
[/quote]

You don't.  Your friend is a grown up.  If she chooses to stay with someone who treats her poorly, if her reaction to being treated poorly is to behave equally badly, and if she chooses to stay in this relationship despite all indicators (and your advice) then you leave it alone.

You can be there for her when things fall apart (if they do, and if you choose to) but you cannot make a grown-up behave according to what you think is best.  You are wasting your time and energy.[/quote]

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