do you still have some love for your ex-spouse?

[Anonymous]

if i'm honest with myself i still do. and i'm the one who left and rejected any proposal for reconciliation. but if i am honest, i think i still do love him and in a way always will.

[Anonymous]

You are probably my husband's awful excuse for an ex-wife. Oh well, worked out great for me

[Anonymous]

No. Not at all.

I don't think of him often at all. When I do, I don't actively wish him ill anymore (it's been several years now, all the sore spots have healed) - but I don't miss him, either. Not even a little bit.

I'm perfectly happy never to talk to him again.

[Anonymous]

Do you think you still love him or do you still love the idea of the life you thought you'd have together?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you think you still love him or do you still love the idea of the life you thought you'd have together?

This is me. I think I miss the idea of the life I thought we would have together and the family we created for our DCs. It was a long marriage. He left me for someone else. I know that there is no way to forget what he said and did. And still oddly enough, I do miss some parts of our marriage and him. I don't think I love him anymore, but not sure. I am recently divorced, so hopefully this will subside with time.

[Anonymous]

I think sometimes the woman will miss the sex if the new guy isn't as good.

[Anonymous]

Been 4 years and nope, not an ounce of love or even affection. We have children together and I see him often. It's like a flat line (which I prefer to the intense negative feelings that sometimes try to creep in). I feel wronged by him and those negative feelings are my inability to truly forgive him. I just try to ignore him most of the time. If I never saw him again, I would feel better...but for my kids, I put on a smile and act like a grown up.

I had no feelings really from the day we decided it was over. I assume the love was gone before that. I think he had some lingering feelings, but I'm not sure it was love.

I hope it subsides for you.

[Anonymous]

Yes. I was the one who chose not to reconcile. I have love for him and grief for the life I thought we would have together, but I also have resentment for the many ways he failed me in our marriage. In the end, the things I could not get over were greater than the things I grieve now.

He's a good person. A good dad. I think he will probably be a better partner to his next wife than he was to me. Or, at the very least, he will make different mistakes. I also learned how to be a better partner as a result of the failure of my first marriage.

[Anonymous]

I think having love for that person as your child's parent is totally normal. I'm sure my DH feels something like that for his ex wife- just a general concern for her well being because she is their child's mother. (And vice versa on her end.) But active, deep love, no. I doubt most divorced people have that for one another.

[Anonymous]

Hell no! He can disappear for all I care.

[Anonymous]

Love, no.

Every time I think about my ex and how much I once loved him, I fortunately also remember all of the emotional manipulation, physical abuse, etc. if I forget, it's not long until his next "episode" anyway.

[Anonymous]

I regret my divorce.

[Anonymous]

Only as the father of my kid. I am hoping to like him more again after the divorce is all settled. Right now -- not a lot of love.

[Anonymous]

No, not at all.

[Anonymous]

There was a study that showed most people who left regretted leaving but also did not want to deal with reconciliation.

I think it was Shirley glass that I read that.

BTW, my ex missed me, we reconciled,and we are fine but I would be happier if my ex from college came back to reconcile. Dang! I loved that guy! Or whatever I imaged he was.