do you still have some love for your ex-spouse?

[Anonymous]

Still love him and still attracted to him. Married 14 years. Divorced almost 3.

[Anonymous]

No, no love here! Married to him for 6 1/2 years, as soon as we split up he moved in with someone else. I haven't seen him in 13 years and I don't care if I ever do! He stole from me and mentally abused me.

Thankfully I smart enough to never get off the pill so we didn't have any kids together.

[Anonymous]

I love my ex dearly, as a good friend and family member. We were married a long time, and have been amicably divorced a long time. It's no one's fault that we were better suited to be friends than romantic partners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love my ex dearly, as a good friend and family member. We were married a long time, and have been amicably divorced a long time. It's no one's fault that we were better suited to be friends than romantic partners.

That is so nice to hear. I wish it was this way for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Still love him and still attracted to him. Married 14 years. Divorced almost 3.

Why did you divorce?

[Anonymous]

No, I no longer have any love for him or any interest in sleeping with him again. I would be perfectly fine never seeing him again, though that won't happen because we co-parent together.

[Anonymous]

Not even the tiniest bit. He makes it very easy for me to remember why we divorced by being a crappy parent and undermining me with our kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Still love him and still attracted to him. Married 14 years. Divorced almost 3.

Why did you divorce?

He didn't want to try to make it work when we were still married. Last year he said he wanted to get back together and be a family again. But, once again he didn't want to do the real work it took for true reconciliation.

[Anonymous]

Interesting question OP.

I care about him as in I wouldn't want to see him harmed, but I don't love him. I feel sad when bad things happen to him and happy when good things do, but I don't love him and I still have angry feelings.

[Anonymous]

I still love my ex-wife. Divorcing her was the hardest thing I've ever done. She just became a hazard to herself, our child, and me. Her cheating was just the beginning. It's hard when you realize that you can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love my ex dearly, as a good friend and family member. We were married a long time, and have been amicably divorced a long time. It's no one's fault that we were better suited to be friends than romantic partners.

I'm a man, and the above - except for the "dearly" part - describes how I feel about my ex-wife. Married 14 years, divorced for 10 now (well, married longer, separated for 10). But I was not in love anymore long before we split up. We are not close friends, but it's impossible to be that close to someone for that long and not be connected.

[Anonymous]

I don't have love for him and will be happy if our paths never cross again. We had a strong chemistry and good rapport when we met, but in hindsight we each lacked emotional maturity and I don't think it was ever what I could now consider love to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:if i'm honest with myself i still do. and i'm the one who left and rejected any proposal for reconciliation. but if i am honest, i think i still do love him and in a way always will.

When I think about the people we were when we were young and in love, I miss that friend.
Unfortunately, when times got tough I learned about a side to his personality that is really disgusting. Lying, cheating, stealing, mean to kid, just awful.

Kind of like an Uncle or brother who, as time goes by, you realize that deep down they are a terribly troubled person and you can't trust them or help them. You wouldn't give them the keys to your house or loan them your car or money. You'll always love them as family but, you've learned your lesson and now have to set very firm boundaries and to the degree possible, wash your hands of responsibility for helping them.

I'll always be sad that things turned out the way they did for us. But I am just grateful I got out of the marriage with somewhat minimized damages. I look at the woman he's with now and think, "better her than me". But then get choked up because I miss my love of 20 years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I still love my ex-wife. Divorcing her was the hardest thing I've ever done. She just became a hazard to herself, our child, and me. Her cheating was just the beginning. It's hard when you realize that you can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved.

How has her hazardous behavior affected your co-parenting? If it hasn't, how have you avoided that happening? Curious because I am in a similar situation.