Did anyone skip all secondary interventions and go straight to adoption?

[Anonymous]

Due to a health complication on my part, it will be incredibly difficult to conceive a child the good old fashioned way. DH and I have been talking about just going right to adoption if it doesn't work out. I'm adopted so think I would make a good adoptive mom...just curious to hear if anyone else skipped all interventions and went straight to adoption. Or even tried it once or twice and then stopped and went to adoption. TIA

[Anonymous]

I am also interested in knowing. And also wanted to know how it works for non-US citizens and permanent residents.

[Anonymous]

No, because I've heard so many horror stories about how difficult and expensive it is to adopt these days, particularly if you are over 40. We decided to go with DE instead and were successful on the first try.

[Anonymous]

We tried to get pregnant the old fashioned way and it did not work. We didn't do any fertility treatments, but just went straight to adoption. I have no regrets - adoption fits in better with my religious beliefs than do many fertility treatments.

[Anonymous]

My SIL and her husband determined they would not be able to get pregnant without major intervention. Did not have $$$ for fertility treatments, but did have enough to proceed with domestic adoption.
Took just under 18 months from start-to-finish.
I'm looking forward to seeing my super-cute nephew in a few weeks!

[Anonymous]

After a long struggle to conceive DC#1, my sister experienced a 12 week loss. At that point she was looking into adoption and not planning to pursue a lot of treatments. She ended up getting pregnant on her own a few months later, but otherwise she would have adopted. My SIL was in a similar situation with #1, though they did end up trying the last IVF cycle they could afford which worked.

Honestly, I think that going straight to adoption is actually much more common than this forum or the DC area would suggest. A few years ago, I think fertility treatments were very rare. More recently, some options for international adoption are no longer available, which may influence some people's decisions. But I don't think it's at all weird to go straight to adoption. I would have looked into it much earlier if DH were ready to do so. (In the end, though, we did conceive via IVF.)

[Anonymous]

When we had been trying for 3 + years without any success and any explanation of "why" it was not working, I actually looked into adoption before looking into fertility treatment. I decided it was not for us because of my husband's age we were ruled out of some countries. I didn't feel we had a good chance of getting a baby in the U.S because we are interracial, I didn't want a child from Russia. It seemed our only real chance at adoption would be an older child from the foster system or a baby with healthy issues.

So we pursued fertility treatment and were successful - thankfully.

[Anonymous]

Yes! Now teens and we are nuts about them.

[Anonymous]

We went straight to adoption as well. Have three kids now and are really happy with the path we took.

[Anonymous]

yes-- we did some clomid/ femara cycles with monitoring and trigger shots-- but that was the extent of our fertility treatments. We basically went straight to adoption. After being told that natural conception was extremely unlikely, and after we had adopted 2 kids, I did have one pregnancy, but I miscarried fairly early on.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend who adopted two children after deciding not to go through with fertility treatments. They are the nicest family on the block - I really just adore them.

I wanted to adopt #2, my husband did not. We are going through with minimally invasive IUIs (just the monitoring and trigger shots), but that is as far as we go. We have one child that was conceived easily, but ran into secondary infertility trying for a second. I miscarried earlier this year and don't know how much longer I can keep trying before just hanging it up.

The cost of it all is just so daunting, not to mention the emotional strain.

[Anonymous]

We skipped all interventions and went straight to foster care.

[Anonymous]

We skipped IVF & went straight to adoption. My kid is wonderful, and I'm so happy to be her mom, but in the meantime I've had second thoughts about the ethics of infant adoption, so for our second child we're pursuing donor egg IVF.

[Anonymous]

Ethics?

[Anonymous]

Yes, sort of. We tried a couple of rounds of IUI, but had been told IVF-ICSI was the only way to conceive (DH had severe MFI).

It was an easy decision to move to adoption because, like you, I am adopted (as are my sister and cousin). We actually found the adoption process easier than the fertility treatments- the only time we had to take off work was to do fingerprints locally and for the Feds whereas I still had to take lots of time off work to do the monitoring since I started work earlier than the clinic opened, etc.

We did an international adoption and it went smoothly and quickly. However, the rules for that particular country have changed since, making it a much longer process but not necessarily longer than some domestic adoptions.

As it turned out, 3 months after we brought our precious daughter home, I ended up rather unexpectedly pregnant. We are definitely done with kids, but would've adopted a second child had we not had a bio kid.

Good luck, OP!