Is it always bad to tell ex you miss him?

[Anonymous]

We're still talking. Trying to stay in contact. Having a hard time not being honest in conversation/email. Usually check in when I get back in town. Missing that. Want to send an email telling him. Not clear why I should restrain myself.

[Anonymous]

Who broke up with who, when and why?

[Anonymous]

He broke up with me. A month ago. Not "ready for commitment".

[Anonymous]

Yes, you should restrain yourself. You want to tell him to see if he misses you too. Which might mean he doesn't want to be broken up. You really shouldn't be in contact at all right now.

[Anonymous]

I would not. The last thing I'd want him to think is that he was still on my mind. Absence may make his heart grow fonder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He broke up with me. A month ago. Not "ready for commitment".

He broke up with you and doesn't want to be with you. Please don't make yourself look desperate.

[Anonymous]

Get super busy living your own life. Men are drawn to women who have their own thing going. Plus, he broke up with you. Telling him you miss him isn't going to change the fact that he didn't-- and doesn't-- want to be with you.

[Anonymous]

I'd initiate the code of silence. Do not, under any circumstances, even talk to him. He broke up with you. No groveling, no teary/drunk calls, even if it eats you up inside. You have to move on. Living well and moving on to someone who is madly in love with you is the best revenge. BTDT, dated these guys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He broke up with me. A month ago. Not "ready for commitment".

He broke up with you and doesn't want to be with you. Please don't make yourself look desperate.

+10000 Nothing stinks so bad as desperation.

[Anonymous]

Gotta agree with everyone else. Plus even if you're not admitting it to yourself, you have an expectation or hope that he will respond a certain way, and are bound to be hurt again and again by reaching out to him. He broke up with you - why should you share your heart with him? Save it for someone who can reciprocate your affection. Telling him that you miss him is trying to recapture the intimacy that you have lost, and it will only push him farther away.
Take good care of yourself right now and when you are ready get back out there.

[Anonymous]

No. Hell use it as way to have sex with you, and then you'll feel even worse.

[Anonymous]

Why are you talking to him? It doesn't sound like is the kind of breakup that lends itself to keeping in touch right now.

Occupy yourself with something, or someone else.

[Anonymous]

Already did it. Guess it was a mistake. Will try not to do it again.

[Anonymous]

Then why did you ask?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Already did it. Guess it was a mistake. Will try not to do it again.

PP here. TRY not to do it again? Oh, HELL NO! Listen to me. I am screaming at you now because I've lived and learned. YOU are better than this! He came out and said he wasn't ready for a commitment, right? There are no nuances, no underlying meanings there, no symbolism. He honestly told you he wasn't that into you.

Yes, it's heartbreaking. Yes, it's sad. You're pissed off, sad, weepy, angry and at times, miss him so much that you'd do just about anything to have him back. So, grieve this loss. Cry when you have to, alone. Let it all out. But, chin up and tell yourself that you are moving on. Moving on means forging ahead. Waking up, going to work, focusing on your job, you, other friends, other things, retail therapy, whatever gets you through and keeps you busy enough so you'll not call him or email him or text him.

I've had my heart broken more times than I care to count. I fall hard and fast...but somewhere along the way I decided that I would not give a man the satisfaction of groveling or pleading or even acting like I care after he'd broken it off. Plus, twice I had the tremendous satisfaction of having an ex boyfriend come crawling back to me, asking me to meet just more more time...and smugly saying no.

It takes time, but get back out there! Sometimes when you're the most vulnerable, you're more likely to meet the right person. I am a believer in and practioner of rebound relationships. You get sick of the drama, the heartbreak and disappointment and when you meet someone bereft of all these things, you can relax and fall in love with his normalcy!