How does Al Anon work?

[Anonymous]

I think I need help. DH has a habit of binge drinking a couple or more times per week and as bad as it's effects on our marriage are, he has no interest in stopping. We saw a marriage counselor about 2 years ago, but he insisted we not talk about the drinking in that venue. I've asked him to stop, I've threatened divorce, I've tried just avoiding him when he starts up - nothing seems to work. So, now I think I have to get help because I have no idea how to handle this any longer.

I looked at the Al Anon website for the DC area but it's kind of shitty. There is a calendar for Feb of 2013! Is there someone I need to call to make plans to go to a new member type meeting? It looks like there is some kind of 6 week startup program that I'm supposed to attend. Im in Bethesda and can't find information on current meeting times and locations. Any help would be appreciated.

[Anonymous]

I just looked it up and it's pretty current (at the bottom)

http://marylanddc-alanon.org/calendar24/calendar.html

No idea how it works, but I empathize. I've been googling about why my husband reeks of booze tonight. Coming out of his pores and not his breath. I can barely stand to be in the same bed.

[Anonymous]

Good for you to go to the meetings, OP.

[Anonymous]

Don't have time to write more, but definitely check out a few different mtgs - the recommendation is often six, actually. Different mtgs have different flavors. Al-Anon can be immensely helpful. Wish you the best of luck in your circumstances.

[Anonymous]

Go to the meetings. Just find one today, anywhere, and go. And then find a therapist that understands addiction. Go alone to that person.

My friend saw Anita Gadhia-Smith when her husband was drinking and smoking pot in a way that was out of control. He was in classic alcoholic denial. Secrecy is huge with the addict--you are not allowed to tell anyone. Your husband is counting on you to protect his illness. Do not. It is destroying you. And it is destroying him.

My friend and her husband are on the other side of it--she found the strength to make it clear that he needed help or she would leave. It wasn't an empty threat as it had been in the past. He went to rehab and found the help he needed. They've been doing great for the past two years.

Good luck OP. you can do this. You're not a victim and you do not need to be his secret keeper. You deserve so much more than you're settling for right now.

[Anonymous]

Wishing you lots of strength, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't have time to write more, but definitely check out a few different mtgs - the recommendation is often six, actually. Different mtgs have different flavors. Al-Anon can be immensely helpful. Wish you the best of luck in your circumstances.

+1. Definitely try 6 meetings. Al-Anon can feel really uncomfortable when you first start so definitely give it 6 meetings. And as pp noted different meetings draw different kinds of folks so check out different meetings.

So sorry you are going through this, OP. But your life can get better, hopefully with your dh but if necessary without him. Good luck!