Just another redshirting vent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD has a late July birthday and her independent school strongly recommended redshirting which we ultimately did with some reservations. She is now 9 and in 3rd grade and seems to fit in just fine with her peers. I just learned her classmate is turning 10 on October 1. 10! She would have turned 7 a month and a half into kindergarten. That's just mind blowing to me.

Is the child happy? Well-adjusted? Then who cares? Maybe she was held back because of a medical issue or because of a learning issue or because of any number of other issues. A girl I know was held back from K because she had cancer. It's not something her parents spoke a lot about, because it's their business, but she's happy and thriving and it's all worked out. Seriously, consider that maybe there's a reason for it and if the kid is happy and it works, then who cares?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

If everyone entered Baltimore privates in K, then you'd be correct. Parents of children who enter after that point may not have been aware of the pre-first pattern, and can be blindsided.

At that point, schools are accepting children based on more data so birthdays don't loom as large when it comes to placement and a summer birthday kid can end up in the "correct" grade instead of recommended for the grade below.

But in general, I agree with you. In Baltimore privates, if you have a summer birthday kid, he or she is doing pre-first, and may do pre-first if there are other issues. It's an entirely normal part of the progression, and the weird kids are not the old-for-grade kids but the on-time summer birthday kids or the rare grade skippers.

"pre-first"?

Have the Baltimore private schools figured out a way to get parents to pay for 14 years of private-school tuition instead of 13?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
If you could only redshirt for documented reasons then we wouldn’t be having this conversation.

Then talk to your elected officials (for public school) or school administration (for private school) about changing the laws/rules.

+1. I have never understood how worked up people get about this but if you feel so strongly about redshirting, reach out to your school board and demand change.

They can’t because they don’t have any legitimate reasons to change the policy. They just like to be busy bodies and judge other parents. If it wasn’t redshirting it’d just be something else.

I think I see things other people don’t see when they don’t have such a young kid who went on time, so that’s why I am choosing to speak out.
For example, if we said you couldn’t play HS sports after a certain age that could help stop sports redshirting. But the high schools care about winning, they don’t care about it being more difficult for younger kids. (To be clear, I am aware that kids who are really good at sports can compete against and beat kids well over a year older than them - I just don’t think that’s the majority of kids).

It depend on the sport. If we held our child back, he would not be able to compete senior year as he would miss the age cut off for swim.

This is just a real question - there are age cut offs for Swimming in Hs? It goes by age and not grade like other Hs sports? I’m not asking about club swimming outside of school - but the actual high school swim team.

Not sure about high school as we aren't there yet, but the high school teams are only about 2-3 months and most kids are doing club swimming. My kid has an early fall birthday so if we started him a year later he would not be able to summer swim (if he does it) with the summer swim team being 19 as it goes by ages.

Yes but literally no one redshirts an early fall kid. That's ridiculous. They're already the oldest in their class. That would mean they start K at age 7 instead of 5.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If everyone entered Baltimore privates in K, then you'd be correct. Parents of children who enter after that point may not have been aware of the pre-first pattern, and can be blindsided.

At that point, schools are accepting children based on more data so birthdays don't loom as large when it comes to placement and a summer birthday kid can end up in the "correct" grade instead of recommended for the grade below.

But in general, I agree with you. In Baltimore privates, if you have a summer birthday kid, he or she is doing pre-first, and may do pre-first if there are other issues. It's an entirely normal part of the progression, and the weird kids are not the old-for-grade kids but the on-time summer birthday kids or the rare grade skippers.

"pre-first"?

Have the Baltimore private schools figured out a way to get parents to pay for 14 years of private-school tuition instead of 13?

in short, yes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
If you could only redshirt for documented reasons then we wouldn’t be having this conversation.

Then talk to your elected officials (for public school) or school administration (for private school) about changing the laws/rules.

+1. I have never understood how worked up people get about this but if you feel so strongly about redshirting, reach out to your school board and demand change.

They can’t because they don’t have any legitimate reasons to change the policy. They just like to be busy bodies and judge other parents. If it wasn’t redshirting it’d just be something else.

I think I see things other people don’t see when they don’t have such a young kid who went on time, so that’s why I am choosing to speak out.
For example, if we said you couldn’t play HS sports after a certain age that could help stop sports redshirting. But the high schools care about winning, they don’t care about it being more difficult for younger kids. (To be clear, I am aware that kids who are really good at sports can compete against and beat kids well over a year older than them - I just don’t think that’s the majority of kids).

It depend on the sport. If we held our child back, he would not be able to compete senior year as he would miss the age cut off for swim.

This is just a real question - there are age cut offs for Swimming in Hs? It goes by age and not grade like other Hs sports? I’m not asking about club swimming outside of school - but the actual high school swim team.

Not sure about high school as we aren't there yet, but the high school teams are only about 2-3 months and most kids are doing club swimming. My kid has an early fall birthday so if we started him a year later he would not be able to summer swim (if he does it) with the summer swim team being 19 as it goes by ages.

Yes but literally no one redshirts an early fall kid. That's ridiculous. They're already the oldest in their class. That would mean they start K at age 7 instead of 5.

I appreciated the sentiment in the Pp’s reply but I think HS Swimming goes by grade not age. I don’t think anyone is considering summer swim relating to redshirting decisions and eligibility for the last summer prior to attending college (recruited athletes would already have committed at that point) and as far as I can quickly tell there’s no age limit for participation in USA club swimming year round.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The truly mindblowing thing here is that this whine-fest started over a kid who is in BALTIMORE PRIVATE SCHOOL.

For those who are unfamiliar: ALL Baltimore independents funnel ALL summer birthdays into a "pre-first" or "prep first" or "6th age" or whatever grade. Parents can and do object, and most schools allow parents' wishes to override -- but that's an exception, not the rule. The default is for summer birthday kids to go into a pre-first year.

What Baltimore independents do is, effectively, to change the cutoff dates, that's all. They haven't magically made a classroom with a 2-year span.

The only way for anti-redshirters to be affected by this at all is if:
1) They enroll their child in a Baltimore independent school; AND
2) They choose not to follow the school's recommendation for placement.

Otherwise, their little non-redshirted Larla will be in a class with approximately a 12-mo spread, with one or two outliers.

People lose their g**dm minds when redshirting comes up, but Baltimore private schools are the least "harmful" case of redshirting ever, even given the dubious standards of harm that anti-redshirters employ.

If everyone entered Baltimore privates in K, then you'd be correct. Parents of children who enter after that point may not have been aware of the pre-first pattern, and can be blindsided.

At that point, schools are accepting children based on more data so birthdays don't loom as large when it comes to placement and a summer birthday kid can end up in the "correct" grade instead of recommended for the grade below.

But in general, I agree with you. In Baltimore privates, if you have a summer birthday kid, he or she is doing pre-first, and may do pre-first if there are other issues. It's an entirely normal part of the progression, and the weird kids are not the old-for-grade kids but the on-time summer birthday kids or the rare grade skippers.

But then the answer to the OP's question is just no, you're not going to encounter this when you send your late summer/fall kid to public school "on time." It's a weird private school thing that will not affect you or your child. They have effectively added a year to K-12 because they can and it's not going to affect you or your kid so who cares.

Potentially. If they're in a social group where there are lots of families sending their kids to private, they may also run into the oddness in club sports like lacrosse where kids are grouped by graduation year and not birth year. Also probably not something that would be a big problem outside of Baltimore, but easily something a Baltimore parent could be confused or even upset about. And yes, something that can affect your kid, even if just a little. And surely people can vent about just about anything. Except, I suppose, red shirting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If everyone entered Baltimore privates in K, then you'd be correct. Parents of children who enter after that point may not have been aware of the pre-first pattern, and can be blindsided.

At that point, schools are accepting children based on more data so birthdays don't loom as large when it comes to placement and a summer birthday kid can end up in the "correct" grade instead of recommended for the grade below.

But in general, I agree with you. In Baltimore privates, if you have a summer birthday kid, he or she is doing pre-first, and may do pre-first if there are other issues. It's an entirely normal part of the progression, and the weird kids are not the old-for-grade kids but the on-time summer birthday kids or the rare grade skippers.

"pre-first"?

Have the Baltimore private schools figured out a way to get parents to pay for 14 years of private-school tuition instead of 13?

Yes. And the parents are for the most part happy about it. The parents who aren't, can usually opt their child out of pre-first. Very few do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If everyone entered Baltimore privates in K, then you'd be correct. Parents of children who enter after that point may not have been aware of the pre-first pattern, and can be blindsided.

At that point, schools are accepting children based on more data so birthdays don't loom as large when it comes to placement and a summer birthday kid can end up in the "correct" grade instead of recommended for the grade below.

But in general, I agree with you. In Baltimore privates, if you have a summer birthday kid, he or she is doing pre-first, and may do pre-first if there are other issues. It's an entirely normal part of the progression, and the weird kids are not the old-for-grade kids but the on-time summer birthday kids or the rare grade skippers.

"pre-first"?

Have the Baltimore private schools figured out a way to get parents to pay for 14 years of private-school tuition instead of 13?

Yes. And the parents are for the most part happy about it. The parents who aren't, can usually opt their child out of pre-first. Very few do.

This is entirely accurate. I don’t mind at all. My kids school has a reputation for being a bit of an academic pressure cooker, so I’m just as happy for my kid to have an extra year to mature emotionally, and I’m not worried about academics being boring. In a different environment I might feel differently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Friendly acquaintance posted a "back to school" pic of her son complete with his age (6.75 years) and grade (Junior First/ Prep First/ whatever your private school calls it). This little boy has a late fall birthday!!! He is going to be almost 8 years old when he starts first grade. Meanwhile, my child has a July birthday and I cannot afford private so he will be starting K right after he turns 5 and starting first right after he turns 6. He and this child are going to be almost 2 full years apart while in the same grade. I KNOW, it doesn't affect me in the slightest especially since he isn't even at my child's school. But it makes me so angry! My child is a little socially immature and I am worried he is not only going to be chronologically the youngest when he starts real school but he is going to be socially young for his age too, making it so much harder for him if his classroom is full of kids who are 7 when he is only 5. Ugh. Vent over. Side note- does anyone know if redshirting is as prevalent in public schools?

If it makes you feel any better, we will be petitioning on having DD start a year earlier. Every family makes its own decisions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Friendly acquaintance posted a "back to school" pic of her son complete with his age (6.75 years) and grade (Junior First/ Prep First/ whatever your private school calls it). This little boy has a late fall birthday!!! He is going to be almost 8 years old when he starts first grade. Meanwhile, my child has a July birthday and I cannot afford private so he will be starting K right after he turns 5 and starting first right after he turns 6. He and this child are going to be almost 2 full years apart while in the same grade. I KNOW, it doesn't affect me in the slightest especially since he isn't even at my child's school. But it makes me so angry! My child is a little socially immature and I am worried he is not only going to be chronologically the youngest when he starts real school but he is going to be socially young for his age too, making it so much harder for him if his classroom is full of kids who are 7 when he is only 5. Ugh. Vent over. Side note- does anyone know if redshirting is as prevalent in public schools?

Would you hold him back if you had the money? We are all trying to do what’s best for our kids... still redshirting a November birthday seems a little crazy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That poor kid. How embarrassing.

Why embarrassing?! We had our June boy repeat preK. He is the oldest in his grade now and has some LD’s. Best decision we ever made! Each child is different. Why in DC do parents have to insult/ pull down over parents for VERY PERSONAL decisions that are made privately. OP get a life and focus only on your child. Stop comparing. There will ALWAYS be other children that are smarter and less smart than your DC.

Get over it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD has a late July birthday and her independent school strongly recommended redshirting which we ultimately did with some reservations. She is now 9 and in 3rd grade and seems to fit in just fine with her peers. I just learned her classmate is turning 10 on October 1. 10! She would have turned 7 a month and a half into kindergarten. That's just mind blowing to me.

Is the child happy? Well-adjusted? Then who cares? Maybe she was held back because of a medical issue or because of a learning issue or because of any number of other issues. A girl I know was held back from K because she had cancer. It's not something her parents spoke a lot about, because it's their business, but she's happy and thriving and it's all worked out. Seriously, consider that maybe there's a reason for it and if the kid is happy and it works, then who cares?

PP here. You raise valid points. However, not applicable in this instance. And no, she's not well-adjusted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD has a late July birthday and her independent school strongly recommended redshirting which we ultimately did with some reservations. She is now 9 and in 3rd grade and seems to fit in just fine with her peers. I just learned her classmate is turning 10 on October 1. 10! She would have turned 7 a month and a half into kindergarten. That's just mind blowing to me.

Is the child happy? Well-adjusted? Then who cares? Maybe she was held back because of a medical issue or because of a learning issue or because of any number of other issues. A girl I know was held back from K because she had cancer. It's not something her parents spoke a lot about, because it's their business, but she's happy and thriving and it's all worked out. Seriously, consider that maybe there's a reason for it and if the kid is happy and it works, then who cares?

PP here. You raise valid points. However, not applicable in this instance. And no, she's not well-adjusted.

Nobody redshirts an OCTOBER child without reason. You just don't know what the reason is. You should MYOB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD has a late July birthday and her independent school strongly recommended redshirting which we ultimately did with some reservations. She is now 9 and in 3rd grade and seems to fit in just fine with her peers. I just learned her classmate is turning 10 on October 1. 10! She would have turned 7 a month and a half into kindergarten. That's just mind blowing to me.

Is the child happy? Well-adjusted? Then who cares? Maybe she was held back because of a medical issue or because of a learning issue or because of any number of other issues. A girl I know was held back from K because she had cancer. It's not something her parents spoke a lot about, because it's their business, but she's happy and thriving and it's all worked out. Seriously, consider that maybe there's a reason for it and if the kid is happy and it works, then who cares?

PP here. You raise valid points. However, not applicable in this instance. And no, she's not well-adjusted.

Nobody redshirts an OCTOBER child without reason. You just don't know what the reason is. You should MYOB.

I have to agree with this. October is extreme. You have no idea what’s going in this family’s life.

[Anonymous]

I was going to post what a lot of posters have already posted: there is something going on here and you should count your blessings.

We are redshirting our September kid. He looks normal. But has severe food allergies. So we're holding him back so we have more confidence that he will not share food and that he can confidently navigate through school. Because he has a lot of health issues besides that, we are also holding him back to make sure he has a happier life.