I'm a stripper. AMA.

[Anonymous]

Can you tell a man is a regular at strip clubs when you meet him in a regular setting?

[Anonymous]

To the two(?) strippers. Thank you for your responses. They've been very enlightening. I ask what may seem like over-the-top questions, and as has been pointed out, if a retail or service worker posted here, I might ask how they felt about waiting on customers who look down on them and I'd want to know how they handled that. Most of us have to deal with being objectified, looked down on, or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you tell a man is a regular at strip clubs when you meet him in a regular setting?

Not necessarily. I can tell men who definitely don't go, based on our conversations (wholesome, religious types). But no, not really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you believe it was the past sexual abuse you mentioned that coerced you into choosing stripping besides the big money? If so, why?

In no way was I "coerced" into stripping. It was a decision I discussed with my husband at length.

I cannot tell how my being a victim of childhood sexual abuse played into my decision, because I don't know what it's like to not have been sexually abused. Sexuality and gender studies have always been of particular interest to me - LGBTQ issues, feminism, the dark and taboo elements of human sexuality and, yes, the roles of sex workers in society through the ages - so I didn't just wake up one day with this particular itch to scratch.

Well the backgrounds of most sex industry workers have a past of sex abuse and to add to that the sex industry is feminist and gives women control and even may be therapeutic for those women so there must be some correlation there.

[Anonymous]

"We see things not as they are, we see them as we are."
The ugliness people attach to a beautiful woman simply bearing
her breasts as a part of her job speaks volumes of their own
dysfunctional relationship with women and the human body etc..
That's their problem.

I admire your grace courage and intelligence OP.
You are amazing. Thank you so much for doing this. I feel like
exotic dancers are often seen as inhuman and you showed me
how complex and interesting a dancer can be. I wish I were
as brave as you.

If I were curious about anything it's if you had a supportive kind
adult help you at all as a child. You have a good head on your
shoulders and confidence. If you developed these qualities yourself
that's great but usually it takes help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you believe it was the past sexual abuse you mentioned that coerced you into choosing stripping besides the big money? If so, why?

In no way was I "coerced" into stripping. It was a decision I discussed with my husband at length.

I cannot tell how my being a victim of childhood sexual abuse played into my decision, because I don't know what it's like to not have been sexually abused. Sexuality and gender studies have always been of particular interest to me - LGBTQ issues, feminism, the dark and taboo elements of human sexuality and, yes, the roles of sex workers in society through the ages - so I didn't just wake up one day with this particular itch to scratch.

Well the backgrounds of most sex industry workers have a past of sex abuse and to add to that the sex industry is feminist and gives women control and even may be therapeutic for those women so there must be some correlation there.

It's not true that most sex workers have a background of sex abuse. According to this study, the damaged goods hypothesis is false, sex workers were no more likely to have been abused, and actually had higher self esteem than the general population.

http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00224499.2012.719168?journalCode=hjsr20&#/doi/abs/10.1080/00224499.2012.719168?journalCode=hjsr20&

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you believe it was the past sexual abuse you mentioned that coerced you into choosing stripping besides the big money? If so, why?

In no way was I "coerced" into stripping. It was a decision I discussed with my husband at length.

I cannot tell how my being a victim of childhood sexual abuse played into my decision, because I don't know what it's like to not have been sexually abused. Sexuality and gender studies have always been of particular interest to me - LGBTQ issues, feminism, the dark and taboo elements of human sexuality and, yes, the roles of sex workers in society through the ages - so I didn't just wake up one day with this particular itch to scratch.

Well the backgrounds of most sex industry workers have a past of sex abuse and to add to that the sex industry is feminist and gives women control and even may be therapeutic for those women so there must be some correlation there.

It's not true that most sex workers have a background of sex abuse. According to this study, the damaged goods hypothesis is false, sex workers were no more likely to have been abused, and actually had higher self esteem than the general population.

http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00224499.2012.719168?journalCode=hjsr20&#/doi/abs/10.1080/00224499.2012.719168?journalCode=hjsr20&

Thanks, PP, for the insight. I'm gonna derail a little here and say the term "damaged goods" makes my skin crawl! For me and those like me who've spent a lifetime making sense of the dysfunctional and abusive environments in which we were raised, being called something so marginalizing hurts. By being abused, it was communicated that we were worthless, not deserving of respect nor autonomy, and labeling people (usually women) with a history of sexual abuse as damaged goods only affirms those hurtful messages.

I know you were not attacking me, PP, and in fact trying to defend women in this line of work (thank you!) but I just wanted to put this out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"We see things not as they are, we see them as we are."
The ugliness people attach to a beautiful woman simply bearing
her breasts as a part of her job speaks volumes of their own
dysfunctional relationship with women and the human body etc..
That's their problem.

I admire your grace courage and intelligence OP.
You are amazing. Thank you so much for doing this. I feel like
exotic dancers are often seen as inhuman and you showed me
how complex and interesting a dancer can be. I wish I were
as brave as you.

If I were curious about anything it's if you had a supportive kind
adult help you at all as a child. You have a good head on your
shoulders and confidence. If you developed these qualities yourself
that's great but usually it takes help.

Thank you for this kind and supportive post! I've tried to be forthright and I'm glad I've been well-received (for the most part).

Save a truly dynamic teacher in high school, I never had much guidance growing up. I lived very dysfunctionally until my mid-twenties (pre-stripping!) and I sometimes feel resentful that I never had a mentor or a reliable adult in my life. I may come across in these posts as confident, but I have a lot of stuff I'm working through. That said, I have come a long way. Thanks again for your kindness.

[Anonymous]

I did a 1 hour video documentary on strippers in Richmond, VA for a video production class in college. I still remember shooting the video and the interviews 23 years later. I probably have the 3/4 inch tape around here somewhere. I got an A. This thread brings back memories.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you tell a man is a regular at strip clubs when you meet him in a regular setting?

Not necessarily. I can tell men who definitely don't go, based on our conversations (wholesome, religious types). But no, not really.

Former stripper here (pp from early pages). I CAN ALWAYS TELL. It's not what they talk about, it's the way they look at you. I know "the look."
Back to you OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did a 1 hour video documentary on strippers in Richmond, VA for a video production class in college. I still remember shooting the video and the interviews 23 years later. I probably have the 3/4 inch tape around here somewhere. I got an A. This thread brings back memories.

Hmmm. This brings back a memory for me. I think a colleague of mine was featured in your video. Weird. Glad you got an A!

[Anonymous]

OP thanks for doing this thread and being honest.

I respect you and you are clearly intelligent. I don't think what you are cool and courageous. I think that part is bullshit.

[Anonymous]

^^doing is

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP thanks for doing this thread and being honest.

I respect you and you are clearly intelligent. I don't think what you are cool and courageous. I think that part is bullshit.

Thank you for your honesty!

[Anonymous]

Did you wear a string bikini as a toddler?