It's official: Gen Z are not delaying marriage til 30s anymore, young weddings are cool again

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about the other trend of not marrying at all?

I have coworkers with babies who are not married.

This is the actual trend. But it doesn't fit in with the current narrative being pushed

UMC/rich kids seem to be getting married younger. These kids likely have the support of the rich parents.

Poor and MC young adults may not have the money for a wedding or to buy a house. Our kids will have college, grad school, wedding and at least down payment from the parents. I would rather my kids marry relatively young in their twenties and have kids young.

I come from humble beginnings and traveled a ton in my twenties after I started working. My kids have been traveling internationally since they were young. My kids are still minors and been to Europe and Asia several times and the US/Caribbean countless times. It isn’t like they need to spend their twenties traveling and enjoying life. They have been doing this since being born.

Yes but the travelling with your parents as a kid vs travelling with your friends in your teens and 20’s are two completely different things. I did both so I know.

It seems like Gen z is perfectly content to just travel with their parents and live with them as well vs being out on the own as independent young adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have at it, Gen Z and parents. Everything old is new again. They can know the "problem with no name" like my mom and other post-WWII era SAHMs did. Oh, and tell them to read Fascinating Womanhood, also on many mothers' bookshelves.

Same for the men. They can look forward to being tethered to someone for life who, most likely, will quickly lose interest in frequent sex, pester them about inane bullsht, and not let them do fun sht anymore.

I'd be shocked if the "high quality" men in major metro areas DCUM loves have changed so much in the past 10 years since I was dating that they're down with getting married at 22. I think even if a woman was hellbent on early marriage, but dating in NYC/DC/London etc. it would be nearly impossible unless they were part of some subgroup (probably religious) where early marriage was the norm OR they were ok with dating 10+ years older. All those finance/law/etc types were marrying from around 28-34.

Can someone respond to this? People (like OP) seem to think this is a woman issue of wanting to gain education, build a career, obtain financial stability and security before they settle down and this is viewed as a problem. Stats show more and more women taking on the breadwinner role. I am by no mean opposed to young marriage, but even in UMC circles this was not a thing. So how do we recoconcile our girls marrying early 20s with a pool of men who are ABSOLUTELY not ready for that? I think someone posted an example, but with a 17 year age difference. Ehhh....

The OP and many like them just want women to be Trad wives and don’t consider the real issues facing young people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about the other trend of not marrying at all?

I have coworkers with babies who are not married.

This is the actual trend. But it doesn't fit in with the current narrative being pushed

UMC/rich kids seem to be getting married younger. These kids likely have the support of the rich parents.

Poor and MC young adults may not have the money for a wedding or to buy a house. Our kids will have college, grad school, wedding and at least down payment from the parents. I would rather my kids marry relatively young in their twenties and have kids young.

I come from humble beginnings and traveled a ton in my twenties after I started working. My kids have been traveling internationally since they were young. My kids are still minors and been to Europe and Asia several times and the US/Caribbean countless times. It isn’t like they need to spend their twenties traveling and enjoying life. They have been doing this since being born.

Traveling with mama is not what people mean when they say "travel and see the world." That you would unironically write that tells me so much about you.

DP.

What does “travel and see the world” mean if not travel and see the world, which one can do with their friends, their parents, or even by themselves!

Do you mean getting drunk, high, and having sex with random strangers? That’s the only scenario in which you’re right and one would not get that experience traveling with mama…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two of my mid-20s employees got married last year. I thought it was weird. I am 47. Most people I know got married in their 30s.

I have noticed this "trend" already.

My 24 year old niece graduated from college in May 2022. She said it seems like at least half of her good friends are engaged, with many married this summer. Social media is fueling this.

I am not against earlier marriage on principle (I would have liked to marry earlier but it was VERY hard to find marriage-minded men in my 20s) but I do wonder about the social media angle. I have two younger cousins (millenials not Gen Z) and they were wedding and baby obsessed in their 20s and it was absolutely driven by social media -- getting married or having a baby was like being famous in their social circles because it tended to get people a lot of attention on social media. I wound up having to ask them not to post photos of my DD on their [public] Instagram accounts because I discovered they were basically using her as a prop for likes and it was disturbing.

Neither of these cousins married and they are now mid-30s so different track than the Gen Zers people are talking about on this thread. But I wonder what happens when these kids who are motivated by the attention one receives for a wedding or new baby settle into married life with older children. Even if you want to keep exploiting your kids for likes eventually they are old enough to get mad at you for doing so. And you will never capture the "celebrity" status of being a bride again -- everyone wants to see photos of your wedding and talk about your dress and no one cares about your 10th wedding anniversary or what you wore.

I wish them well but for the ones who are doing it for the like I suspect we'll see a trend of "Instagram divorce parties" as they hit early 30s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about the other trend of not marrying at all?

I have coworkers with babies who are not married.

This is the actual trend. But it doesn't fit in with the current narrative being pushed

UMC/rich kids seem to be getting married younger. These kids likely have the support of the rich parents.

Poor and MC young adults may not have the money for a wedding or to buy a house. Our kids will have college, grad school, wedding and at least down payment from the parents. I would rather my kids marry relatively young in their twenties and have kids young.

I come from humble beginnings and traveled a ton in my twenties after I started working. My kids have been traveling internationally since they were young. My kids are still minors and been to Europe and Asia several times and the US/Caribbean countless times. It isn’t like they need to spend their twenties traveling and enjoying life. They have been doing this since being born.

Traveling with mama is not what people mean when they say "travel and see the world." That you would unironically write that tells me so much about you.

DP.

What does “travel and see the world” mean if not travel and see the world, which one can do with their friends, their parents, or even by themselves!

Do you mean getting drunk, high, and having sex with random strangers? That’s the only scenario in which you’re right and one would not get that experience traveling with mama…

No they mean exploring the world on your own without your parents paying for everything and holding your hand the entire time. Navigating a foreign transportation system or a language you don't speak on your own without well-traveled parents who can always step in to explain or guide.

I traveled a ton between birth and age 12 because my dad worked for a huge international company and we lived all over the world as he helped set up offices and factories for them. And then even after we settled in the US so I could have a "normal" high school experience we still traveled abroad a lot. So I was a "well-traveled" kid. But when I traveled in my 20s on my own I learned different things about myself. It was a totally different experience. Independence is a really powerful thing to explore and I do think I would have missed out on something if I'd married straight out of college even though obviously I wasn't lacking in opportunities to travel.

I never did the drinking and drugging and casual sex type of travel btw. I did meet lots of interesting people but I have always known to be cautious when traveling abroad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about the other trend of not marrying at all?

I have coworkers with babies who are not married.

This is the actual trend. But it doesn't fit in with the current narrative being pushed

UMC/rich kids seem to be getting married younger. These kids likely have the support of the rich parents.

Poor and MC young adults may not have the money for a wedding or to buy a house. Our kids will have college, grad school, wedding and at least down payment from the parents. I would rather my kids marry relatively young in their twenties and have kids young.

I come from humble beginnings and traveled a ton in my twenties after I started working. My kids have been traveling internationally since they were young. My kids are still minors and been to Europe and Asia several times and the US/Caribbean countless times. It isn’t like they need to spend their twenties traveling and enjoying life. They have been doing this since being born.

Traveling with mama is not what people mean when they say "travel and see the world." That you would unironically write that tells me so much about you.

DP.

What does “travel and see the world” mean if not travel and see the world, which one can do with their friends, their parents, or even by themselves!

Do you mean getting drunk, high, and having sex with random strangers? That’s the only scenario in which you’re right and one would not get that experience traveling with mama…

No they mean exploring the world on your own without your parents paying for everything and holding your hand the entire time. Navigating a foreign transportation system or a language you don't speak on your own without well-traveled parents who can always step in to explain or guide.

I traveled a ton between birth and age 12 because my dad worked for a huge international company and we lived all over the world as he helped set up offices and factories for them. And then even after we settled in the US so I could have a "normal" high school experience we still traveled abroad a lot. So I was a "well-traveled" kid. But when I traveled in my 20s on my own I learned different things about myself. It was a totally different experience. Independence is a really powerful thing to explore and I do think I would have missed out on something if I'd married straight out of college even though obviously I wasn't lacking in opportunities to travel.

I never did the drinking and drugging and casual sex type of travel btw. I did meet lots of interesting people but I have always known to be cautious when traveling abroad.

+1

It’s not even just about traveling independently as an adult. IMO most young adults would benefit from living independently. Living in different parts of the world. Making friends, not just in passing, with a wide variety of people. Navigating career and even just adulting. Becoming a fully formed adult. Develop your own experiences and opinions.

Jumping right from your parents to a spouse inhibits your ability to grow as an independent individual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sophia looked stunning at her wedding last year.

I don’t get the obsession over “celebrities”.

And marriages are so much more than a pretty photo.

Isn’t cute how lots of folks are worried that teens are getting wrong ideas from curated pictures on Instagram but then think nothing of their obsession with pretty celebrity wedding photos?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is wild. First of all the Joey King example is really depressing to me. She is 25 and he is 40, they met when she was 19 and he was 34. I don’t think it’s healthy for a 34 year old man to be interested in pursuing a19-year-old I think somethings going on there and it’s not great.

It’s interesting to me that there is one poster continually demonizes SATC. It’s true that two of the four women did not want to pursue motherhood. But the other two did and the depictions of motherhood in the show are quite wonderful. Miranda loved raising her child and they are very close in the new series, Charlotte desperately wanted children, but wasn’t able to find the right partner and ended up meeting a partner later in life and having 2 kids, Being a stay at home mom and then going back to pursue her career when her children are teens.

Nothing about that depiction seems particularly harmful or propaganda like to me.

Ballerina Farm is completely manufactured. That woman is not a stay at home mom, she is part of a huge team and a big corporate business. It’s all manufactured and to say that that is traditional motherhood is laughable. I just saw an anthropologist on reels talking about in the hunter gatherer days, no one had 8 kids. People tended to have four kids because of breast-feeding and nutrition patterns - they had them have on average every four years and on average 16 people were involved in raising of kids, it was very communal, and the mother did not sit around with her kids all day like is portrayed now.

Sitting around posting on an anonymous website that there is only one way to do things, is insane and not very productive or convincing.

I don’t get the idolization of these celebrities & “influencers”. Nothing you see is real. You don’t really know them or their real-life experiences. It’s all carefully curated to sell something.

Extrapolating anything about an entire generation from a handful of celebrity weddings (not even the marriage, but the event) is idiotic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sophia looked stunning at her wedding last year.

I don’t get the obsession over “celebrities”.

And marriages are so much more than a pretty photo.

Isn’t cute how lots of folks are worried that teens are getting wrong ideas from curated pictures on Instagram but then think nothing of their obsession with pretty celebrity wedding photos?

#tradwife is a load of crap

[Anonymous]

Joey King and Millie Bobbie Brown Don’t really have that many followers compared to Kim Kardashian, Taylor, Swift, and Selena Gomez.

She has 18 million, Millie Bobby Brown I think has maybe 40 million. Selena has well over 400 million and Taylor is approaching 300 million with Kim somewhere in between.

Taylor is a proud, childless cat lady, Selena is early 30s never married Recently revealed, she will never carry her on children anyway and Kim Kardashian has been divorced four times and two of her kids were born via surrogacy. So I would be careful saying celebs with a lot of followers are influencing the young generation. It works both ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about the other trend of not marrying at all?

I have coworkers with babies who are not married.

This is the actual trend. But it doesn't fit in with the current narrative being pushed

UMC/rich kids seem to be getting married younger. These kids likely have the support of the rich parents.

Poor and MC young adults may not have the money for a wedding or to buy a house. Our kids will have college, grad school, wedding and at least down payment from the parents. I would rather my kids marry relatively young in their twenties and have kids young.

I come from humble beginnings and traveled a ton in my twenties after I started working. My kids have been traveling internationally since they were young. My kids are still minors and been to Europe and Asia several times and the US/Caribbean countless times. It isn’t like they need to spend their twenties traveling and enjoying life. They have been doing this since being born.

Traveling with mama is not what people mean when they say "travel and see the world." That you would unironically write that tells me so much about you.

DP.

What does “travel and see the world” mean if not travel and see the world, which one can do with their friends, their parents, or even by themselves!

Do you mean getting drunk, high, and having sex with random strangers? That’s the only scenario in which you’re right and one would not get that experience traveling with mama…

Traveling with your parents - where you are handheld, taken to mommy-selected destinations and landmarks, and are told what to do and what to eat and when to go to sleep - are completely different from travel that you yourself organize, budget for and navigate unassisted. The first is a theme park. The second is an adulting experience.

[Anonymous]

Where are these UMC or MC men who are willing to marry in their early twenties? Who are these young pretty women supposed to marry??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is wild. First of all the Joey King example is really depressing to me. She is 25 and he is 40, they met when she was 19 and he was 34. I don’t think it’s healthy for a 34 year old man to be interested in pursuing a19-year-old I think somethings going on there and it’s not great.

It’s interesting to me that there is one poster continually demonizes SATC. It’s true that two of the four women did not want to pursue motherhood. But the other two did and the depictions of motherhood in the show are quite wonderful. Miranda loved raising her child and they are very close in the new series, Charlotte desperately wanted children, but wasn’t able to find the right partner and ended up meeting a partner later in life and having 2 kids, Being a stay at home mom and then going back to pursue her career when her children are teens.

Nothing about that depiction seems particularly harmful or propaganda like to me.

Ballerina Farm is completely manufactured. That woman is not a stay at home mom, she is part of a huge team and a big corporate business. It’s all manufactured and to say that that is traditional motherhood is laughable. I just saw an anthropologist on reels talking about in the hunter gatherer days, no one had 8 kids. People tended to have four kids because of breast-feeding and nutrition patterns - they had them have on average every four years and on average 16 people were involved in raising of kids, it was very communal, and the mother did not sit around with her kids all day like is portrayed now.

Sitting around posting on an anonymous website that there is only one way to do things, is insane and not very productive or convincing.

I don’t get the idolization of these celebrities & “influencers”. Nothing you see is real. You don’t really know them or their real-life experiences. It’s all carefully curated to sell something.

Extrapolating anything about an entire generation from a handful of celebrity weddings (not even the marriage, but the event) is idiotic.

^^ sorry, not even the wedding event but PHOTOS of the event. It isn’t real life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about the other trend of not marrying at all?

I have coworkers with babies who are not married.

This is the actual trend. But it doesn't fit in with the current narrative being pushed

UMC/rich kids seem to be getting married younger. These kids likely have the support of the rich parents.

Poor and MC young adults may not have the money for a wedding or to buy a house. Our kids will have college, grad school, wedding and at least down payment from the parents. I would rather my kids marry relatively young in their twenties and have kids young.

I come from humble beginnings and traveled a ton in my twenties after I started working. My kids have been traveling internationally since they were young. My kids are still minors and been to Europe and Asia several times and the US/Caribbean countless times. It isn’t like they need to spend their twenties traveling and enjoying life. They have been doing this since being born.

Traveling with mama is not what people mean when they say "travel and see the world." That you would unironically write that tells me so much about you.

DP.

What does “travel and see the world” mean if not travel and see the world, which one can do with their friends, their parents, or even by themselves!

Do you mean getting drunk, high, and having sex with random strangers? That’s the only scenario in which you’re right and one would not get that experience traveling with mama…

No they mean exploring the world on your own without your parents paying for everything and holding your hand the entire time. Navigating a foreign transportation system or a language you don't speak on your own without well-traveled parents who can always step in to explain or guide.

I traveled a ton between birth and age 12 because my dad worked for a huge international company and we lived all over the world as he helped set up offices and factories for them. And then even after we settled in the US so I could have a "normal" high school experience we still traveled abroad a lot. So I was a "well-traveled" kid. But when I traveled in my 20s on my own I learned different things about myself. It was a totally different experience. Independence is a really powerful thing to explore and I do think I would have missed out on something if I'd married straight out of college even though obviously I wasn't lacking in opportunities to travel.

I never did the drinking and drugging and casual sex type of travel btw. I did meet lots of interesting people but I have always known to be cautious when traveling abroad.

You’re speaking from an upper middle class / wealthy bubble. The vast majority of American kids, teens, and young adults will NEVER “see the world”. For the average American family a trip to a single European country for a week is literally a once-in-lifetime event.

So you can continue to split hairs about whether seeing the world as a kid “counts” or not, but just understand that it’s irrelevant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about the other trend of not marrying at all?

I have coworkers with babies who are not married.

This is the actual trend. But it doesn't fit in with the current narrative being pushed

UMC/rich kids seem to be getting married younger. These kids likely have the support of the rich parents.

Poor and MC young adults may not have the money for a wedding or to buy a house. Our kids will have college, grad school, wedding and at least down payment from the parents. I would rather my kids marry relatively young in their twenties and have kids young.

I come from humble beginnings and traveled a ton in my twenties after I started working. My kids have been traveling internationally since they were young. My kids are still minors and been to Europe and Asia several times and the US/Caribbean countless times. It isn’t like they need to spend their twenties traveling and enjoying life. They have been doing this since being born.

Traveling with mama is not what people mean when they say "travel and see the world." That you would unironically write that tells me so much about you.

DP.

What does “travel and see the world” mean if not travel and see the world, which one can do with their friends, their parents, or even by themselves!

Do you mean getting drunk, high, and having sex with random strangers? That’s the only scenario in which you’re right and one would not get that experience traveling with mama…

Traveling with your parents - where you are handheld, taken to mommy-selected destinations and landmarks, and are told what to do and what to eat and when to go to sleep - are completely different from travel that you yourself organize, budget for and navigate unassisted. The first is a theme park. The second is an adulting experience.

Sorry, I don’t take life advice from anyone who uses “adult” as a verb.