Any other moms out just not order when you eat with your family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:the funny thing is this is the same crew, many of whom think it's ok to spank.

but share food with your kid who is full - nope, you're the worst.

Many think it's ok to spank? Quite a leap there. Look, eat your kids half eaten Dino nuggets and left over pizza crust. But, don't get mad when you ask if its normal and the majority tell you it's weird and they don't do it. You're in the minority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow I can’t believe OP is still come back and defending this weirdness. It’s a free country! No one can make you order a meal (well actually I guess the restaurant manager could give you the choice of doing that or leaving but they won’t realistically). But it’s a really ridiculous choice. You already said your family finds you weird and cheap. I still remember an older cousin doing this while out to eat with our family doing and eating her toddler’s scraps when I was like 8 so a good 30 years ago. My mom was SO humiliated and tried not to show but leaving a huge tip to try to compensate. It’s weird and awkward for everyone else but it sounds like you prefer that to wasting any food at all (or eating it later, which I really can’t understand either). I posted earlier that I really think you should stop going to restaurants and I still feel that way. It sounds like you’re miserable and making everyone else uncomfortable.

where was it said that op's family feels uncomfortable?

Um, literally her post just a few back where she says she TELLS (not asks) them that she is going to eat their food, and they say no, then she does it anyway. And they have no choice but leave some for her because Mommy Has No Food.

no idea why you are so triggered by this, but again there are many posters on this thread who say they do a version of this. calm down. no one is taking YOUR food.

Asked and answered. Don't want to hear the answer? Don't ask the question "where was it said that op's family feels uncomfortable." OP herself has said that her kids push back and say they want their own food and they are hungry. Then she orders nothing, so now they know they have to share with her: Mommy has no food.

I read it more like this:
Kid: I'm ordering the hangar steak
Mom: you are not going to finish that
Kid: Yes I am I suuuuuper hungry
Mom: ok fine order it (he's not going to finish it so I won't order)
Kid: I'm full

Even in the most generous interpretation of this scenario, that kid genuinely orders something silly and doesn't eat it, there are bad things at play here. Mom is displaying lack of confidence in the kid, or allowing the kid to continue a trend of over ordering expensive food and not eating it. Mom isn't included in the entree decision process when deciding what SHE will eat. The entire meal becomes about the kid making a decision that mom thinks is bad but catered to anyway. And meanwhile dad is off eating whatever he ordered in peace. This is an unhealthy dynamic that has nothing to do with the actual amount of food being consumed.

No. You’re being dramatic. It’s not this serious or important.

You really do not need to psychoanalyze every interaction or event.

If it is EVERY meal it is in fact sending a message, obviously if this is happening occasionally its NBD but OP has said her extended family have commented which to me says it is not just a random one off no big deal thing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow I can’t believe OP is still come back and defending this weirdness. It’s a free country! No one can make you order a meal (well actually I guess the restaurant manager could give you the choice of doing that or leaving but they won’t realistically). But it’s a really ridiculous choice. You already said your family finds you weird and cheap. I still remember an older cousin doing this while out to eat with our family doing and eating her toddler’s scraps when I was like 8 so a good 30 years ago. My mom was SO humiliated and tried not to show but leaving a huge tip to try to compensate. It’s weird and awkward for everyone else but it sounds like you prefer that to wasting any food at all (or eating it later, which I really can’t understand either). I posted earlier that I really think you should stop going to restaurants and I still feel that way. It sounds like you’re miserable and making everyone else uncomfortable.

where was it said that op's family feels uncomfortable?

Um, literally her post just a few back where she says she TELLS (not asks) them that she is going to eat their food, and they say no, then she does it anyway. And they have no choice but leave some for her because Mommy Has No Food.

no idea why you are so triggered by this, but again there are many posters on this thread who say they do a version of this. calm down. no one is taking YOUR food.

Asked and answered. Don't want to hear the answer? Don't ask the question "where was it said that op's family feels uncomfortable." OP herself has said that her kids push back and say they want their own food and they are hungry. Then she orders nothing, so now they know they have to share with her: Mommy has no food.

I read it more like this:
Kid: I'm ordering the hangar steak
Mom: you are not going to finish that
Kid: Yes I am I suuuuuper hungry
Mom: ok fine order it (he's not going to finish it so I won't order)
Kid: I'm full

Even in the most generous interpretation of this scenario, that kid genuinely orders something silly and doesn't eat it, there are bad things at play here. Mom is displaying lack of confidence in the kid, or allowing the kid to continue a trend of over ordering expensive food and not eating it. Mom isn't included in the entree decision process when deciding what SHE will eat. The entire meal becomes about the kid making a decision that mom thinks is bad but catered to anyway. And meanwhile dad is off eating whatever he ordered in peace. This is an unhealthy dynamic that has nothing to do with the actual amount of food being consumed.

op - no.
when you go out to eat, and a kid's meal isn't offered, the kid has no choice but to order an adult sized meal or split it.
my 2 kids like completely opposing foods so while sometimes they will split with each other, typically that doesn't work.
they don't object to sharing with me on principal, they just have that kid thing where they think they're going to eat it ALL even though it's an adult sized portion. so i say 'why dont you share with your brother?' and they say 'no he wants a burger and I want chicken' and i say 'ok then share with me' and they say ' but i will eat the whole chicken' and i say 'I don't think that is true.'
i dont sit there staring while they eat, but i do essentially force them to share with me.
i'm sorry if this horrifies people but honestly i think it's weird when people order way too much food that their kids were never going to be able to finish. kids are kids for a reason - they think they know a lot of stuff they actually dont know.

So its exactly what I said. Kid A (and perhaps also dad?) gets to eat their burger in peace, kid B orders chicken, knows you aren't ordering and then sits there while you watch them eat until they are done? Or do you eat with them WHILE they are eating? In which case you do not know if they may have eaten the chicken.

It does not horrify me, I did not say that. I said there are bad dynamics at play and IMO there are. If you felt like everything was 110% hunky dory you wouldn't have posted here or continued arguing for 20+ pages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow I can’t believe OP is still come back and defending this weirdness. It’s a free country! No one can make you order a meal (well actually I guess the restaurant manager could give you the choice of doing that or leaving but they won’t realistically). But it’s a really ridiculous choice. You already said your family finds you weird and cheap. I still remember an older cousin doing this while out to eat with our family doing and eating her toddler’s scraps when I was like 8 so a good 30 years ago. My mom was SO humiliated and tried not to show but leaving a huge tip to try to compensate. It’s weird and awkward for everyone else but it sounds like you prefer that to wasting any food at all (or eating it later, which I really can’t understand either). I posted earlier that I really think you should stop going to restaurants and I still feel that way. It sounds like you’re miserable and making everyone else uncomfortable.

where was it said that op's family feels uncomfortable?

Um, literally her post just a few back where she says she TELLS (not asks) them that she is going to eat their food, and they say no, then she does it anyway. And they have no choice but leave some for her because Mommy Has No Food.

no idea why you are so triggered by this, but again there are many posters on this thread who say they do a version of this. calm down. no one is taking YOUR food.

Asked and answered. Don't want to hear the answer? Don't ask the question "where was it said that op's family feels uncomfortable." OP herself has said that her kids push back and say they want their own food and they are hungry. Then she orders nothing, so now they know they have to share with her: Mommy has no food.

I read it more like this:
Kid: I'm ordering the hangar steak
Mom: you are not going to finish that
Kid: Yes I am I suuuuuper hungry
Mom: ok fine order it (he's not going to finish it so I won't order)
Kid: I'm full

Even in the most generous interpretation of this scenario, that kid genuinely orders something silly and doesn't eat it, there are bad things at play here. Mom is displaying lack of confidence in the kid, or allowing the kid to continue a trend of over ordering expensive food and not eating it. Mom isn't included in the entree decision process when deciding what SHE will eat. The entire meal becomes about the kid making a decision that mom thinks is bad but catered to anyway. And meanwhile dad is off eating whatever he ordered in peace. This is an unhealthy dynamic that has nothing to do with the actual amount of food being consumed.

op - no.
when you go out to eat, and a kid's meal isn't offered, the kid has no choice but to order an adult sized meal or split it.
my 2 kids like completely opposing foods so while sometimes they will split with each other, typically that doesn't work.
they don't object to sharing with me on principal, they just have that kid thing where they think they're going to eat it ALL even though it's an adult sized portion. so i say 'why dont you share with your brother?' and they say 'no he wants a burger and I want chicken' and i say 'ok then share with me' and they say ' but i will eat the whole chicken' and i say 'I don't think that is true.'
i dont sit there staring while they eat, but i do essentially force them to share with me.
i'm sorry if this horrifies people but honestly i think it's weird when people order way too much food that their kids were never going to be able to finish. kids are kids for a reason - they think they know a lot of stuff they actually dont know.

So its exactly what I said. Kid A (and perhaps also dad?) gets to eat their burger in peace, kid B orders chicken, knows you aren't ordering and then sits there while you watch them eat until they are done? Or do you eat with them WHILE they are eating? In which case you do not know if they may have eaten the chicken.

It does not horrify me, I did not say that. I said there are bad dynamics at play and IMO there are. If you felt like everything was 110% hunky dory you wouldn't have posted here or continued arguing for 20+ pages.

I wonder if the kids haven't already caught on to mom's shenanigans and either order something she doesn't like or sit as far away from her as they can so she's not sticking her fingers or fork in their food taking half of it as soon as it comes because she "just wants a bite" or "you probably won't finish it anyway". Boorish behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow I can’t believe OP is still come back and defending this weirdness. It’s a free country! No one can make you order a meal (well actually I guess the restaurant manager could give you the choice of doing that or leaving but they won’t realistically). But it’s a really ridiculous choice. You already said your family finds you weird and cheap. I still remember an older cousin doing this while out to eat with our family doing and eating her toddler’s scraps when I was like 8 so a good 30 years ago. My mom was SO humiliated and tried not to show but leaving a huge tip to try to compensate. It’s weird and awkward for everyone else but it sounds like you prefer that to wasting any food at all (or eating it later, which I really can’t understand either). I posted earlier that I really think you should stop going to restaurants and I still feel that way. It sounds like you’re miserable and making everyone else uncomfortable.

where was it said that op's family feels uncomfortable?

Um, literally her post just a few back where she says she TELLS (not asks) them that she is going to eat their food, and they say no, then she does it anyway. And they have no choice but leave some for her because Mommy Has No Food.

no idea why you are so triggered by this, but again there are many posters on this thread who say they do a version of this. calm down. no one is taking YOUR food.

Asked and answered. Don't want to hear the answer? Don't ask the question "where was it said that op's family feels uncomfortable." OP herself has said that her kids push back and say they want their own food and they are hungry. Then she orders nothing, so now they know they have to share with her: Mommy has no food.

I read it more like this:
Kid: I'm ordering the hangar steak
Mom: you are not going to finish that
Kid: Yes I am I suuuuuper hungry
Mom: ok fine order it (he's not going to finish it so I won't order)
Kid: I'm full

Even in the most generous interpretation of this scenario, that kid genuinely orders something silly and doesn't eat it, there are bad things at play here. Mom is displaying lack of confidence in the kid, or allowing the kid to continue a trend of over ordering expensive food and not eating it. Mom isn't included in the entree decision process when deciding what SHE will eat. The entire meal becomes about the kid making a decision that mom thinks is bad but catered to anyway. And meanwhile dad is off eating whatever he ordered in peace. This is an unhealthy dynamic that has nothing to do with the actual amount of food being consumed.

op - no.
when you go out to eat, and a kid's meal isn't offered, the kid has no choice but to order an adult sized meal or split it.
my 2 kids like completely opposing foods so while sometimes they will split with each other, typically that doesn't work.
they don't object to sharing with me on principal, they just have that kid thing where they think they're going to eat it ALL even though it's an adult sized portion. so i say 'why dont you share with your brother?' and they say 'no he wants a burger and I want chicken' and i say 'ok then share with me' and they say ' but i will eat the whole chicken' and i say 'I don't think that is true.'
i dont sit there staring while they eat, but i do essentially force them to share with me.
i'm sorry if this horrifies people but honestly i think it's weird when people order way too much food that their kids were never going to be able to finish. kids are kids for a reason - they think they know a lot of stuff they actually dont know.

So its exactly what I said. Kid A (and perhaps also dad?) gets to eat their burger in peace, kid B orders chicken, knows you aren't ordering and then sits there while you watch them eat until they are done? Or do you eat with them WHILE they are eating? In which case you do not know if they may have eaten the chicken.

It does not horrify me, I did not say that. I said there are bad dynamics at play and IMO there are. If you felt like everything was 110% hunky dory you wouldn't have posted here or continued arguing for 20+ pages.

+1 to everything this poster said. This is a bad dynamic. This is you demonstrating to your kid that their wants and needs don't matter (you ask them what they want then actively ignore what they are telling you about what they want and how hungry they feel), then you sit there and put pressure on them to hurry up and share with Mommy...and Mommy gets little scraps of what other people order, she doesn't get a full portion and she doesn't get a choice. Horrible dynamic all around.

If it works for you, great, keep doing it. But stop arguing when YOU ASKED if other people do this, and plenty of us say no and have 100% valid reasons why we don't. Why do you need our approval enough to argue with multiple people for 20+ pages? Why do you need the validation, if you are so comfortable with what you are doing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What?! No this is bizarre. If we go out to eat we all get an entree. If you can’t afford it just cook at home.

Not that I need to defend this but when I did it recently we were flying out of DCA and we needed to eat before our flight. We went to Ben Chili’s bowl which didn’t have a kid’s menu and when my daughter got chicken fingers I just didn’t get anything because I didn’t want to fly with leftovers or waste a crap ton of food. One chicken finger order was enough for both of us. She weighs about 45 lbs.

The ultimate White DCUM Almond Mom: go to a well-known DC landmark restaurant because you can snap a pic of the famous sign outside for Instagram, then go in and order not the world-famous chili or half-smokes, but nothing for you and then Mommy’s Going to Share Your Food. But hey, you put that pic up on Instagram and got your “street cred” for visiting Black-owned DC institution.

You sound insane. Since when is the airport a well known institution? I don't think you get street cred for it, or the original location.

I can't believe you made it racial. Good Lord you have problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What?! No this is bizarre. If we go out to eat we all get an entree. If you can’t afford it just cook at home.

Not that I need to defend this but when I did it recently we were flying out of DCA and we needed to eat before our flight. We went to Ben Chili’s bowl which didn’t have a kid’s menu and when my daughter got chicken fingers I just didn’t get anything because I didn’t want to fly with leftovers or waste a crap ton of food. One chicken finger order was enough for both of us. She weighs about 45 lbs.

The ultimate White DCUM Almond Mom: go to a well-known DC landmark restaurant because you can snap a pic of the famous sign outside for Instagram, then go in and order not the world-famous chili or half-smokes, but nothing for you and then Mommy’s Going to Share Your Food. But hey, you put that pic up on Instagram and got your “street cred” for visiting Black-owned DC institution.

Imagine what these "perfect" families are doing on vacations. Anything to "save" a buck. Reputation and dignity mean nothing to some people. Totally classless.

Nothing is classier than posting on DCUM, amirite?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What?! No this is bizarre. If we go out to eat we all get an entree. If you can’t afford it just cook at home.

Not that I need to defend this but when I did it recently we were flying out of DCA and we needed to eat before our flight. We went to Ben Chili’s bowl which didn’t have a kid’s menu and when my daughter got chicken fingers I just didn’t get anything because I didn’t want to fly with leftovers or waste a crap ton of food. One chicken finger order was enough for both of us. She weighs about 45 lbs.

The ultimate White DCUM Almond Mom: go to a well-known DC landmark restaurant because you can snap a pic of the famous sign outside for Instagram, then go in and order not the world-famous chili or half-smokes, but nothing for you and then Mommy’s Going to Share Your Food. But hey, you put that pic up on Instagram and got your “street cred” for visiting Black-owned DC institution.

Imagine what these "perfect" families are doing on vacations. Anything to "save" a buck. Reputation and dignity mean nothing to some people. Totally classless.

Reminds me of the long thread about the mom who was renting a house with another family and wanted her family's food totally separate for each meal and the strategies for telling kids from the other family "that's not your family's cereal."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow I can’t believe OP is still come back and defending this weirdness. It’s a free country! No one can make you order a meal (well actually I guess the restaurant manager could give you the choice of doing that or leaving but they won’t realistically). But it’s a really ridiculous choice. You already said your family finds you weird and cheap. I still remember an older cousin doing this while out to eat with our family doing and eating her toddler’s scraps when I was like 8 so a good 30 years ago. My mom was SO humiliated and tried not to show but leaving a huge tip to try to compensate. It’s weird and awkward for everyone else but it sounds like you prefer that to wasting any food at all (or eating it later, which I really can’t understand either). I posted earlier that I really think you should stop going to restaurants and I still feel that way. It sounds like you’re miserable and making everyone else uncomfortable.

where was it said that op's family feels uncomfortable?

Um, literally her post just a few back where she says she TELLS (not asks) them that she is going to eat their food, and they say no, then she does it anyway. And they have no choice but leave some for her because Mommy Has No Food.

no idea why you are so triggered by this, but again there are many posters on this thread who say they do a version of this. calm down. no one is taking YOUR food.

Asked and answered. Don't want to hear the answer? Don't ask the question "where was it said that op's family feels uncomfortable." OP herself has said that her kids push back and say they want their own food and they are hungry. Then she orders nothing, so now they know they have to share with her: Mommy has no food.

I read it more like this:
Kid: I'm ordering the hangar steak
Mom: you are not going to finish that
Kid: Yes I am I suuuuuper hungry
Mom: ok fine order it (he's not going to finish it so I won't order)
Kid: I'm full

Even in the most generous interpretation of this scenario, that kid genuinely orders something silly and doesn't eat it, there are bad things at play here. Mom is displaying lack of confidence in the kid, or allowing the kid to continue a trend of over ordering expensive food and not eating it. Mom isn't included in the entree decision process when deciding what SHE will eat. The entire meal becomes about the kid making a decision that mom thinks is bad but catered to anyway. And meanwhile dad is off eating whatever he ordered in peace. This is an unhealthy dynamic that has nothing to do with the actual amount of food being consumed.

op - no.
when you go out to eat, and a kid's meal isn't offered, the kid has no choice but to order an adult sized meal or split it.
my 2 kids like completely opposing foods so while sometimes they will split with each other, typically that doesn't work.
they don't object to sharing with me on principal, they just have that kid thing where they think they're going to eat it ALL even though it's an adult sized portion. so i say 'why dont you share with your brother?' and they say 'no he wants a burger and I want chicken' and i say 'ok then share with me' and they say ' but i will eat the whole chicken' and i say 'I don't think that is true.'
i dont sit there staring while they eat, but i do essentially force them to share with me.
i'm sorry if this horrifies people but honestly i think it's weird when people order way too much food that their kids were never going to be able to finish. kids are kids for a reason - they think they know a lot of stuff they actually dont know.

So its exactly what I said. Kid A (and perhaps also dad?) gets to eat their burger in peace, kid B orders chicken, knows you aren't ordering and then sits there while you watch them eat until they are done? Or do you eat with them WHILE they are eating? In which case you do not know if they may have eaten the chicken.

It does not horrify me, I did not say that. I said there are bad dynamics at play and IMO there are. If you felt like everything was 110% hunky dory you wouldn't have posted here or continued arguing for 20+ pages.

+1 to everything this poster said. This is a bad dynamic. This is you demonstrating to your kid that their wants and needs don't matter (you ask them what they want then actively ignore what they are telling you about what they want and how hungry they feel), then you sit there and put pressure on them to hurry up and share with Mommy...and Mommy gets little scraps of what other people order, she doesn't get a full portion and she doesn't get a choice. Horrible dynamic all around.

If it works for you, great, keep doing it. But stop arguing when YOU ASKED if other people do this, and plenty of us say no and have 100% valid reasons why we don't. Why do you need our approval enough to argue with multiple people for 20+ pages? Why do you need the validation, if you are so comfortable with what you are doing?

Agreed. The only person whose dinner is sancrosanct is Dad's, apparently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What?! No this is bizarre. If we go out to eat we all get an entree. If you can’t afford it just cook at home.

Not that I need to defend this but when I did it recently we were flying out of DCA and we needed to eat before our flight. We went to Ben Chili’s bowl which didn’t have a kid’s menu and when my daughter got chicken fingers I just didn’t get anything because I didn’t want to fly with leftovers or waste a crap ton of food. One chicken finger order was enough for both of us. She weighs about 45 lbs.

The ultimate White DCUM Almond Mom: go to a well-known DC landmark restaurant because you can snap a pic of the famous sign outside for Instagram, then go in and order not the world-famous chili or half-smokes, but nothing for you and then Mommy’s Going to Share Your Food. But hey, you put that pic up on Instagram and got your “street cred” for visiting Black-owned DC institution.

You sound insane. Since when is the airport a well known institution? I don't think you get street cred for it, or the original location.

I can't believe you made it racial. Good Lord you have problems.

Hon, she's talking about Ben's Chili Bowl. I don't even live in DC and I know this. Cripes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i think people are triggered maybe because they feel somehow attacked by someone saving money in this way or feeling like food waste is 'wrong'.

not over ordering is very european. Americans have much larger portions and less anxiety overall about food waste. i think american culture is very defensive over the idea that you should be able to eat whatever you want/ eat large amounts, but in a lot of cultures having leftover food at the end of the meal is poor planning.

in most places in europe, they'd look at you aghast if you asked for food in a doggy bag. it's just not done there. bc their portions are much smaller to begin with and it's just culturally different.

it's reasonable for someone to feel uncomfortable spending money on food that they dont need to eat during that meal. and also reasonable for someone to prefer to know they are getting what they want. restaurants have become very expensive and typically portion sizes ARE too large.

I don’t care who would be “aghast” if I decided not to put food I didn’t want to eat then and there in my mouth and take it home. I’m not going to waste the environmental resources it took to make that meal, especially animal products, and I’m not going to stuff myself or leave behind perfectly good food. Europeans can be “aghast” all they want. I think it’s rude to the planet to be wasteful, and I’m not going to do it in the age of refrigeration. I’m also going to save money by not overeating or wasting food.

i mean they literally wont give it to you in a doggy bag. it's just not a thing there. they give you reasonable portions and expect you to order the amount you plan to eat at that moment.

Well in that case it makes sense for mom to only eat some spit on chicken fingers for dinner, and the third of a burger that someone else discarded. Her only other option was moving to Paris.

That just made me laugh out loud.

This thread is bonkers. I completely agree that this is a terrible dynamic. Are any of OP's kids girls? I can't imagine sending the message that mom doesn't get to order at a restaurant, and that scraps of other people's food are fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What?! No this is bizarre. If we go out to eat we all get an entree. If you can’t afford it just cook at home.

Not that I need to defend this but when I did it recently we were flying out of DCA and we needed to eat before our flight. We went to Ben Chili’s bowl which didn’t have a kid’s menu and when my daughter got chicken fingers I just didn’t get anything because I didn’t want to fly with leftovers or waste a crap ton of food. One chicken finger order was enough for both of us. She weighs about 45 lbs.

The ultimate White DCUM Almond Mom: go to a well-known DC landmark restaurant because you can snap a pic of the famous sign outside for Instagram, then go in and order not the world-famous chili or half-smokes, but nothing for you and then Mommy’s Going to Share Your Food. But hey, you put that pic up on Instagram and got your “street cred” for visiting Black-owned DC institution.

You sound insane. Since when is the airport a well known institution? I don't think you get street cred for it, or the original location.

I can't believe you made it racial. Good Lord you have problems.

Hon, she's talking about Ben's Chili Bowl. I don't even live in DC and I know this. Cripes.

I believe the original poster who went off about this is unhinged but I think the extra confusion comes from the fact that Ben's Chilli Bowl IS a DC landmark. HOWEVER, Ben's opened a second location inside Washington National Airport. The BCB in National is NOT the original location and is not a DC landmark. People DO seek out the OG BCB on U st as a tourist destination although I do not think it is about street cred anymore than going to the ted lasso bbq place in KC is about street cred, its about the internet leaning into a popular destination. And I am positive the owners of BCB are not sad about the business! Which is yes, black owned.

But someone stopping at the BCB at national just want some food before their flight. And probably seems more approachable for a child than legal's seafood, the other big restaurant in that corridor.

[Anonymous]

Eating your kids leftovers is gross. Period. I have never and would never do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow I can’t believe OP is still come back and defending this weirdness. It’s a free country! No one can make you order a meal (well actually I guess the restaurant manager could give you the choice of doing that or leaving but they won’t realistically). But it’s a really ridiculous choice. You already said your family finds you weird and cheap. I still remember an older cousin doing this while out to eat with our family doing and eating her toddler’s scraps when I was like 8 so a good 30 years ago. My mom was SO humiliated and tried not to show but leaving a huge tip to try to compensate. It’s weird and awkward for everyone else but it sounds like you prefer that to wasting any food at all (or eating it later, which I really can’t understand either). I posted earlier that I really think you should stop going to restaurants and I still feel that way. It sounds like you’re miserable and making everyone else uncomfortable.

where was it said that op's family feels uncomfortable?

Um, literally her post just a few back where she says she TELLS (not asks) them that she is going to eat their food, and they say no, then she does it anyway. And they have no choice but leave some for her because Mommy Has No Food.

no idea why you are so triggered by this, but again there are many posters on this thread who say they do a version of this. calm down. no one is taking YOUR food.

Asked and answered. Don't want to hear the answer? Don't ask the question "where was it said that op's family feels uncomfortable." OP herself has said that her kids push back and say they want their own food and they are hungry. Then she orders nothing, so now they know they have to share with her: Mommy has no food.

I read it more like this:
Kid: I'm ordering the hangar steak
Mom: you are not going to finish that
Kid: Yes I am I suuuuuper hungry
Mom: ok fine order it (he's not going to finish it so I won't order)
Kid: I'm full

Even in the most generous interpretation of this scenario, that kid genuinely orders something silly and doesn't eat it, there are bad things at play here. Mom is displaying lack of confidence in the kid, or allowing the kid to continue a trend of over ordering expensive food and not eating it. Mom isn't included in the entree decision process when deciding what SHE will eat. The entire meal becomes about the kid making a decision that mom thinks is bad but catered to anyway. And meanwhile dad is off eating whatever he ordered in peace. This is an unhealthy dynamic that has nothing to do with the actual amount of food being consumed.

op - no.
when you go out to eat, and a kid's meal isn't offered, the kid has no choice but to order an adult sized meal or split it.
my 2 kids like completely opposing foods so while sometimes they will split with each other, typically that doesn't work.
they don't object to sharing with me on principal, they just have that kid thing where they think they're going to eat it ALL even though it's an adult sized portion. so i say 'why dont you share with your brother?' and they say 'no he wants a burger and I want chicken' and i say 'ok then share with me' and they say ' but i will eat the whole chicken' and i say 'I don't think that is true.'
i dont sit there staring while they eat, but i do essentially force them to share with me.
i'm sorry if this horrifies people but honestly i think it's weird when people order way too much food that their kids were never going to be able to finish. kids are kids for a reason - they think they know a lot of stuff they actually dont know.

So its exactly what I said. Kid A (and perhaps also dad?) gets to eat their burger in peace, kid B orders chicken, knows you aren't ordering and then sits there while you watch them eat until they are done? Or do you eat with them WHILE they are eating? In which case you do not know if they may have eaten the chicken.

It does not horrify me, I did not say that. I said there are bad dynamics at play and IMO there are. If you felt like everything was 110% hunky dory you wouldn't have posted here or continued arguing for 20+ pages.

I wonder if the kids haven't already caught on to mom's shenanigans and either order something she doesn't like or sit as far away from her as they can so she's not sticking her fingers or fork in their food taking half of it as soon as it comes because she "just wants a bite" or "you probably won't finish it anyway". Boorish behavior.

Haha. I posted way upthread about my DH who says he doesn't want dessert, but fully expects to eat half of whatever anybody else in the family orders. He doesn't like cooked fruit, so if there's apple pie a la mode or peach crisp on the menu, guess what DD is ordering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:the funny thing is this is the same crew, many of whom think it's ok to spank.

but share food with your kid who is full - nope, you're the worst.

No, this is the opposite group.

You have one group who spanks and thinks that adults should be respected, and would order what they want and expect their kid to eat the leftovers while "keeping sweet".

Then you have the other group who thinks that kids are the center of the universe and doesn't implement any consequences, and thinks it's reasonable for a parent to eat the crumbs that fall from their plates.

And then in the middle you have the majority of us, who understand that raising kids who can listen to their own hunger cues, and know how to compromise, is a goal and either only goes out to eat when they can budget for a meal for everyone, or negotiates a compromise where everyone gets their needs met.