What kind of condoms?

[Anonymous]

Lesbian mom here, so not a lot of experience with condoms. My oldest has gotten to the age where I think I'd like to have a stash of condoms available to him. While I'd prefer he waited longer, I'd rather he be safe if he does decide to explore.

Problem is, I have no idea what to buy. I was looking at condoms in the store today and was kind of overwhelmed by the variety. Any suggestions?

[Anonymous]

Yes, let him purchase his own condoms. It can be your money, but he should be able to openly purchase condoms without being nervous or feeling weird about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, let him purchase his own condoms. It can be your money, but he should be able to openly purchase condoms without being nervous or feeling weird about it.

Should be able to and would be able to are two different things. I would prefer that my son was confident enough to do so, but I'm not prepared to face the consequences if it turns out that he isn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, let him purchase his own condoms. It can be your money, but he should be able to openly purchase condoms without being nervous or feeling weird about it.

Agree with this. He probably knows what kind of brand he wants based on friends or what he's read online. Don't want him to be embarrassed if he is buying some specialized condom. And just let him keep them in his room or whatever. Much easier to go grab one if he isn't worried that mom will know he's taking a condom. On a side note, I just want to say good job on the openness of this. Far too many parents want to keep their child away from sex/not admit their child is at that age and don't make birth control available. Being open about this will pay off in the long run.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, let him purchase his own condoms. It can be your money, but he should be able to openly purchase condoms without being nervous or feeling weird about it.

Should be able to and would be able to are two different things. I would prefer that my son was confident enough to do so, but I'm not prepared to face the consequences if it turns out that he isn't.

If he isn't confident enough to purchase condoms, then he isn't confident enough to have sex. You can't baby and hold his hand forever. Give him the skills necessary which you are trying to do but he has to be able to perform the job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, let him purchase his own condoms. It can be your money, but he should be able to openly purchase condoms without being nervous or feeling weird about it.

Should be able to and would be able to are two different things. I would prefer that my son was confident enough to do so, but I'm not prepared to face the consequences if it turns out that he isn't.

22:10 here. Didn't see your comment before you posted. I'd give him money to buy them along with "the speech" and then also buy some and stick them in his nighstand or whatever. As much as we would all like to think that if he isn't confident enough to buy condoms he isn't confident enough to have sex, the reality doesn't always go along with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, let him purchase his own condoms. It can be your money, but he should be able to openly purchase condoms without being nervous or feeling weird about it.

Should be able to and would be able to are two different things. I would prefer that my son was confident enough to do so, but I'm not prepared to face the consequences if it turns out that he isn't.

22:10 here. Didn't see your comment before you posted. I'd give him money to buy them along with "the speech" and then also buy some and stick them in his nighstand or whatever. As much as we would all like to think that if he isn't confident enough to buy condoms he isn't confident enough to have sex, the reality doesn't always go along with that.

OP here, thanks. I agree that reality isn't always what we wish.

Which brings us back to my question. If I'm going to buy some and stick them in his nightstand, what brand?

I remember my dad telling my brother "Here's where I keep my condoms, in case you ever need some", which is kind of what I want to replicate except that I don't actually keep any condoms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, let him purchase his own condoms. It can be your money, but he should be able to openly purchase condoms without being nervous or feeling weird about it.

Should be able to and would be able to are two different things. I would prefer that my son was confident enough to do so, but I'm not prepared to face the consequences if it turns out that he isn't.

22:10 here. Didn't see your comment before you posted. I'd give him money to buy them along with "the speech" and then also buy some and stick them in his nighstand or whatever. As much as we would all like to think that if he isn't confident enough to buy condoms he isn't confident enough to have sex, the reality doesn't always go along with that.

OP here, thanks. I agree that reality isn't always what we wish.

Which brings us back to my question. If I'm going to buy some and stick them in his nightstand, what brand?

I remember my dad telling my brother "Here's where I keep my condoms, in case you ever need some", which is kind of what I want to replicate except that I don't actually keep any condoms.

Trojan pleasure back. It had been years since DH or I had used condoms (birth control pills and then trying to get pregnant followed by pregnancy) but while breast feeding, we used condoms. We bought this pack the first time since we had no idea what kind we wanted. It will give him a sample of the more popular types. It might also introduce him to a certain type he likes and that he will stock up on his own.

[Anonymous]

Trojan or Durex? I think that's the brand. Just get the regular kind, not extra sensitive or ribbed or large or whatever. Make sure he knows how to use one. Give them to him and tell him you expect he'll do the supplying from now on. Tell him to always carry one and stash them somewhere and that from now forward it's on him.

Tell him girls will insist they are on the pill, but that doesn't protect him from girls that lie, forget to take pills, STDs etc.

He should know all this, but remind him....

[Anonymous]

Also print a child support calculation form from the state. Show him how much child support is and that it is for 18 years.

Then remind him he is one condom break away from having that be his reality.

I am not kidding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Trojan or Durex? I think that's the brand. Just get the regular kind, not extra sensitive or ribbed or large or whatever. Make sure he knows how to use one. Give them to him and tell him you expect he'll do the supplying from now on. Tell him to always carry one and stash them somewhere and that from now forward it's on him.

Tell him girls will insist they are on the pill, but that doesn't protect him from girls that lie, forget to take pills, STDs etc.

He should know all this, but remind him....

The bolded part is important, really important.

I think the gesture of what you are doing for him is more important than the brand. The variety type packs a previous poster mentioned are a great idea for him to get to try stuff out and figure out what he likes. I think brands other than Trojan offer them too.

You might get more open responses along the lines of "I like this brand for this reason" if you post in the explicit section.

[Anonymous]

http://www.trojancondoms.com/Product/bareskin-lubricated-condoms.aspx

I would recommend these. Basic, lubricated, latex condoms. Personally I don't think the thinness makes a difference but I was around your son's age a few years ago and boys seemed to always go for the 'increased pleasure for him' ones

[Anonymous]

This is an amazing back and forth to me reading as the parent of three young adult girls now and before the time of all this "at hand" technology now. I think I would also have in "the conversation" about how girls and guys are very fickle and "in the moment" in relationships and can easily turn on one another so quickly. And nowadays it is not just by talking but by posting a cell photo or video that may just be out there forever. Also very important is to clearly state that once 18 and having sex with any girl under age can be a really big problem. It is not just about the quality of one's relationship, maturity for a physical/intimate relationship, but just also about their safety in so many ways.

[Anonymous]

I like them ribbed for her pleasure...or his.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, let him purchase his own condoms. It can be your money, but he should be able to openly purchase condoms without being nervous or feeling weird about it.

Should be able to and would be able to are two different things. I would prefer that my son was confident enough to do so, but I'm not prepared to face the consequences if it turns out that he isn't.

If he isn't confident enough to purchase condoms, then he isn't confident enough to have sex. You can't baby and hold his hand forever. Give him the skills necessary which you are trying to do but he has to be able to perform the job.

Oh the imagery.

In reality, plenty of teens will have sex before they're confident enough to go out and buy condoms. What I do with my kids is provide them the warnings, advice, info, and an initial supply of condoms. It's all part of helping your kids prepare for life.