is it always a bad idea to be friends after a break up?

[Anonymous]

everyone says so but seems like rules like that are silly...
i tried once, it was hard and maybe not a good idea in some ways but he has become a life long friend and someone i can depend on.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Maybe most of the times it doesn't, but it can't hurt to try if it doesn't hurt one or the other.

[Anonymous]

If you have common friends, it makes sense to be civil. If you have no friends in common, it is usually better to make a clean break. When you get a new relationship, your future partner is not going to be cool with you being buddy buddy with your ex.

[Anonymous]

My ex and I stayed friends for 3 years. Not hanging out or calling every day, but we stayed FB friends and chatted via text and twitter... We just recently got back together. Timing is everything, he's the one

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have common friends, it makes sense to be civil. If you have no friends in common, it is usually better to make a clean break. When you get a new relationship, your future partner is not going to be cool with you being buddy buddy with your ex.

Depends on how friendly you are with the ex, and how open minded your future partner is.

[Anonymous]

My advice regarding this situation is for both people to initially take some time apart right after breaking up to heal before becoming friends.

That way there will be no complications in the friendship.

It wouldn't make any sense to go from romantic relationship straight to friendship immediately. It would be smarter to let some time go by first, then resume a friendship.

This is the most ideal approach.

If done this way, I truly believe a friendship can be successful in the long run.

[Anonymous]

I think sometimes it is possible, and sometimes it isn't. If you guys still feel friendly towards each other, go for it! But if you are too buddy buddy, it could freak out future partners.

19:45 is pretty smart to suggest some time to heal, although depending on how the break up happened, there may be times when it isn't necessary.

[Anonymous]

I was in an ex-s wedding. Awkward.

[Anonymous]

I try to be civil but I don't maintain a close friendship - at least not at first. You have to have some time and space to redefine your relationship.

[Anonymous]

One of my exes was in our wedding party. Still friends now, and he ended up with my old college roommate. He and DH have also been friends for years. Not awkward at all. But we all went to college together and gave tons of mutual friends, so we had to make it work.

[Anonymous]

Only works if you never truly were in love with person. If you were in love than feelings will always remain on some level, which can be difficult for one or both individuals. If you weren't in love and the relationship didn't end on horrible terms than I don't see why it couldn't work after a few months of no contact. You both need to heal and move on first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have common friends, it makes sense to be civil. If you have no friends in common, it is usually better to make a clean break. When you get a new relationship, your future partner is not going to be cool with you being buddy buddy with your ex.

So what? That's their problem. If they don't accept it, then they're not the right match.

[Anonymous]

I'm with 19:45. I am friendly with a bunch of the guys I've dated over the years. They're nice, cool people, and their wives seem totally fine with us being friends because it is pretty clear there are no feelings there other than friendship. If you respect and like a person, it would be a shame to not know them anymore, just because a relationship didn't work out.

That said, the person who does the breaking up needs to respect the other person's feelings and not pursue a friendship right away, if need be. I sometimes need a little break after the breakup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ex and I stayed friends for 3 years. Not hanging out or calling every day, but we stayed FB friends and chatted via text and twitter... We just recently got back together. Timing is everything, he's the one

I'm wanting to be friends with my ex but have to admit I still have very strong feelings for him...did you while you stayed friends over 3 years? I can't imagine him not in my life...

[Anonymous]

Important to avoid segsual madders.