is it always a bad idea to be friends after a break up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of my exes was in our wedding party. Still friends now, and he ended up with my old college roommate. He and DH have also been friends for years. Not awkward at all. But we all went to college together and gave tons of mutual friends, so we had to make it work.

So you slept with your friend?

[Anonymous]

Yes, Yes, Yes.

My ex and I were together for 6 years and broke up. We had a nasty break up and only talked through email for 3 months. We started talking again after that and now talk every day. I would say he is one of my best friends...HOWEVER....he has a girlfriend (that he's been with for over a year now) and it really, really bothers me. There are still feelings on my end but I push them aside so that I can keep him as a friend.

[Anonymous]

Yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my exes was in our wedding party. Still friends now, and he ended up with my old college roommate. He and DH have also been friends for years. Not awkward at all. But we all went to college together and gave tons of mutual friends, so we had to make it work.

So you slept with your friend?

Huh?

[Anonymous]

Hard and fast rules with these sorts of things are silly.

That said, personally, I'm much happier with my exes out of my life. It's too easy for me to forget why we broke it off in the first place and I end up idealizing the person despite knowing we're not a good match.

[Anonymous]

I have an ex that I am friends with. "I would trust him with my life" type friends. He's a great guy. He was my first, and we broke up for very mature reasons - We knew that we were not right for each other in the long run, but there was a ton of mutual respect there.

The first few months were hard, going from lovers to friends. We almost slipped a couple times, but we knew that breaking up in the long run allowed us to find the "right one." But we fought through the weirdness and came out the other side as great friends.

Yes, it was a minor issue for other boyfriends and eventually my husband that I was still good friends with a man I had slept with. My now-husband was jealous at the beginning. But really, once they met, he could tell there was nothing to worry about. He really likes him and they probably would hang out occasionally if we lived close to each other (we do not).

Oh, and his wife and I get along, too. She's sweet...and perfect for him. It makes me happy to see him happy in life.

He is the only ex that I kept around. He's a special case. The rest of them weren't worth the trouble.

But, I wouldn't have married a man who allowed some ridiculous jealousy nonsense over my friend to get in the way of our relationship, anyway. I'm not giving up a friend who has been there for me for a while just because I was with a jealous dude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was in an ex-s wedding. Awkward.

She was in mine and I was in hers. It was fine.
Of course, two of the others have made it clear through intermediaries that they never want there to be any contact or news.

[Anonymous]

It works with some and doesn't work with others. There is no hard and fast rule on this, IMO.